"Bored" by Make_it_stop (G)
Greetings! I'm faramir_boromir, and for those of you who know your LOTR, you'll figure out that means I fancy the boys from Gondor. My reading preferences are slash, and sometimes incest-slash, but I'll read just about anything from the LOTR fen so long as it is Man-related. And that brings me to the first rec I have this month:
Fandom: LOTR
Story Title: "Bored"
Pairing: None (features Denethor, Boromir, Faramir, and an OMC)
Author on LJ: Unknown. Name given as make_it_stop
Author Website: Posted in LJ at faramir_fics
Why this must be read:
This is parody, pure and simple. What would happen if Denethor's and Faramir's ability to "read men's hearts" were taken to such an extreme that they could torture each other at the dinner table over trivialities? This is told partly from the perspective of a new recruit to the Tower Guard, who's been forced to watch the family eat dinner together for a few months, and can't stand it any more.
Though it's pretty short for parody, I'll put a bit of it here, and then you can hit faramir_fics to read the rest, and fangirl make_it_stop for her genius.
Unfortunately, Faramir had just accidentally glimpsed his father’s plans for his birthday present. It happened every year, no matter how circumspect Denethor tried to be. This time, Faramir didn’t even bother trying to conceal his knowledge, or his reaction to it.
- Dad, that scabbard belt you’re planning to have made for my birthday? I like green better than brown.
- Not again! There’s no point in trying to surprise you. None whatsoever.
- Also I’m a size 7, not a size 9. Size 9 is Boromir.
- If you weren’t such a daisy-munching sissy, and visited the Houses of Exercise every now and then, a size 9 would fit you.
- I don’t even need a scabbard belt. You gave me one last year. And the year before. And the year before that.
- Okay, Mister Negativity. Then maybe I won’t get you anything at all.
“Pass the peas,” said Boromir.
Read the rest of it here.
Fandom: LOTR
Story Title: "Bored"
Pairing: None (features Denethor, Boromir, Faramir, and an OMC)
Author on LJ: Unknown. Name given as make_it_stop
Author Website: Posted in LJ at faramir_fics
Why this must be read:
This is parody, pure and simple. What would happen if Denethor's and Faramir's ability to "read men's hearts" were taken to such an extreme that they could torture each other at the dinner table over trivialities? This is told partly from the perspective of a new recruit to the Tower Guard, who's been forced to watch the family eat dinner together for a few months, and can't stand it any more.
Though it's pretty short for parody, I'll put a bit of it here, and then you can hit faramir_fics to read the rest, and fangirl make_it_stop for her genius.
Unfortunately, Faramir had just accidentally glimpsed his father’s plans for his birthday present. It happened every year, no matter how circumspect Denethor tried to be. This time, Faramir didn’t even bother trying to conceal his knowledge, or his reaction to it.
- Dad, that scabbard belt you’re planning to have made for my birthday? I like green better than brown.
- Not again! There’s no point in trying to surprise you. None whatsoever.
- Also I’m a size 7, not a size 9. Size 9 is Boromir.
- If you weren’t such a daisy-munching sissy, and visited the Houses of Exercise every now and then, a size 9 would fit you.
- I don’t even need a scabbard belt. You gave me one last year. And the year before. And the year before that.
- Okay, Mister Negativity. Then maybe I won’t get you anything at all.
“Pass the peas,” said Boromir.
Read the rest of it here.