twenty two
i'm still here
more hurt than ever before
more scarred than ever before
more done than ever before
the only thing i can cling to is the now.
there is no hope for tomorrow because i react with angst and fear and tired relinquishment. self-inflicted mortal wounds.
how am i ever to be hired, wanted, loved, desired.
it's so easy to stay away. that's all i could ever ask for now.
i still remember the day i realized how depression and sadness is unnecessary in one's life... and i can still think about that moment.
but it's too much work, too much energy. too much let down.
and i think why feel miserable instead? why can't i go back and be happy again.
because happiness is a let down. i don't know if i need permanent counseling
i wish for the day to come where i finally forget, when i grow old and over this.
i don't know why i care or ever bothered. you were never there. you were never there.
and i waited, and you were never there.
that's my mistake. i don't give a crap anymore about anything and anyone anymore. everyone can say do act in whatever they please. and i will do the same. just don't expect a goddamn thing from me either.
more hurt than ever before
more scarred than ever before
more done than ever before
the only thing i can cling to is the now.
there is no hope for tomorrow because i react with angst and fear and tired relinquishment. self-inflicted mortal wounds.
how am i ever to be hired, wanted, loved, desired.
it's so easy to stay away. that's all i could ever ask for now.
i still remember the day i realized how depression and sadness is unnecessary in one's life... and i can still think about that moment.
but it's too much work, too much energy. too much let down.
and i think why feel miserable instead? why can't i go back and be happy again.
because happiness is a let down. i don't know if i need permanent counseling
i wish for the day to come where i finally forget, when i grow old and over this.
i don't know why i care or ever bothered. you were never there. you were never there.
and i waited, and you were never there.
that's my mistake. i don't give a crap anymore about anything and anyone anymore. everyone can say do act in whatever they please. and i will do the same. just don't expect a goddamn thing from me either.