[Glee] Romanticizing These Redundant Thoughts [1/2]
Title: Romanticizing These Redundant Thoughts
Author: svz_insanity
Fandom: Glee
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: Up to "Original Song".
Characters/Pairings: Blaine Anderson/Kurt Hummel, Mike/Tina, ensemble and background characters.
Word Count: Total - 8240. 3750 for this part.
Summary: The friendship between Kurt Hummel and his (currently happily taken) Single Lady Tina Cohen-Chang transcends geographic boundaries. Or at least different school districts. Follows the canon.
Notes: I love Glee friendship fics and I've always noticed that Kurt and Tina are often hanging out on the show and wanted to write fic about Kurt Hummel and Tina Cohen-Chang being BAMFs. This fic is written in present-tense, second person (the first part from Tina's POV, the second from Kurt's). If that's not your cup of tea, this might not be the fic for you. Special thanks to pyroclastic for her amazing S2 Timeline; it was so helpful for writing this.
Also, song title is stolen from Charlene Kaye's "Skin and Bones" and Dalton Academy is a boarding school; just go with it.
Romanticizing These Redundant Thoughts
{ tina }
No matter how you look at it; it seemed like all the couples in New Directions had their days numbered.
That by itself isn’t too surprising, given the number of times everyone has swapped partners, and considering how dysfunctional - and strangely incestuous - all the relationships were. It's like a never-ending game of musical chairs; you're never sure if Finn and Rachel are still together, or if you're danger of saying something at exactly the wrong moment - which has happened before to decidedly awkward results. You're still learning that a lot of the time, it's still better not to say anything at all.
It’s not going to be a surprise (because who are they kidding? Like you two are going to make it when even picture perfect Sam and Quinn are having problems), it’s just inevitable.
But it’s the wait that’s killing you.
--
Either the lighting in his shared double is particularly awful tonight or Kurt has been studying too hard again.
You can see the familiar dark under-eye circles creeping up again during your weekly Skype session - you haven’t seen them since before his transfer to Dalton, before everyone realized how serious things between Karofsky and Kurt had gotten... before a lot of things.
You don’t like it.
“It’s the latter,” Kurt confesses, a little rueful, when you confront him about them. “Dalton’s curriculum is a lot harder than McKinley’s and transferring mid-semester - “ he makes a vague hand gesture at the pile of teetering textbooks visible on his desk, then adds, “I’m not about to let my parents’ honeymoon money go to waste. I have a theory that the teachers here assign us so much work so we won’t have time to make trouble.”
You frown at your screen when Kurt surreptitiously adjusts his webcam to what he probably thinks is a more flattering angle. If anything, this new angle only makes him look even more exhausted.
“Sleep. You have the entire weekend to study.”
One corner of Kurt's mouth quirks up. "I'm spending the weekend at Dalton. I can't even make the commute home for our weekly dinner because of all the work."
"Yet here you are, talking to me," you tease, laughing. "Being all studious. I bet no one else is studying." Even through the crappy tinny speakers on your laptop, you could hear strains of music coming from the hallways of Kurt’s dormitory - which is to be expected at a boys' boarding school on a Friday night. The door of his room's shut, but if you try hard enough, you can make out the buzz of male voices. "Hey," you try again, "if you're not going to bed - you should at least socialize."
Kurt throws you a look that's half-grateful and half 'bitch, please'. Predictably enough, he ignores your advice. "So, Mercedes was telling me something very interesting earlier," he drawls, "something about how you were convinced that Mike was cheating on you with Brittany?"
He's trying to distract you, and damn him, it's working.
You groan a little from embarrassment.
No doubt, Mercedes had probably exaggerated how crazy you were acting. You fill him in on the real story (as well as some of your concerns and fears) while he muddles his way through one of his enormous textbooks - because your logic totally made sense, okay, you're not one of those psycho paranoid chicks like that girl from The Social Network.
When you're finally done, Kurt is staring with raised eyebrows. "Tina," he says slowly, giving you a look that suggests that you might be mentally deficient. "You do realize that Mike adores you, right?" Before you can even reply, he adds, "I'm not even joking: he's completely head-over-heels in love with you. He stood up to Karofsky in the locker room for you."
"You think so?" Okay, dial it down a little - now you're just sounding pathetic. "And he did it for you too."
"I'm sure he did, Mike's a nice guy," Kurt agrees, nodding. "But he's not the knight in shining armor type. He has trouble speaking up in class, so I'm sure he did it to impress you."
"Oh."
"And because he's a nice guy," Kurt adds, "he's not going to cheat on you with Brittany. Trust me, they're just friends. While we were still dating, Brittany told me she asked him out and he turned her down nicely. He's not interested in her."
While it's not like you don't trust Kurt (because you do, and he'll never lie to you unless you do something like insult Bernadette Peters in front of him), but it's just that you can't seem to believe that.
"So, how's Blaine?" you ask, and if Kurt notices that you employed your emergency subject change tactic, he doesn't call you on it. Instead, he happily tells you stories about Blaine this, and Blaine that and all you can think about is how Kurt has it so bad for this boy.
--
You almost wish you could blame it on something stupid; that you and Mike fought more often, because the only possible outcome you can see is having an actual serious talk about their relationship with Mike.
A legit, potentially awkward and uncomfortable conversation because of your stupid insecurities. That's the last thing you want.
You know Mike's shortcomings better than anyone.
He's a bit too passive, he's a big mama's boy, and his self-esteem could use some work.
But he also cares about you. After Kurt, so many people have also parroted that sentiment ("Girl," Mercedes had said, side-eyeing you in between periods, "did you seriously think that Mike Chang would cheat on you after conquering his stage fright to sing with you in Glee? You're crazy.") that you're starting to believe them.
Mike cares a lot about you.
He's cute, sweet, and almost universally as well liked as Brittany. His grades are good, he's a hell of a dancer, and he's on the football and basketball team. He's pretty damn perfect, all things considered.
And that's the thing: he's all those things - he's all kinds of perfect, he's a jock, and he's dating you.
You're kind of wondering about the catch; when he's going to wake up one day and realize he could have a pretty blonde Cheerio for a girlfriend instead of you, that he could trade you up for a nicer model (like Artie did with you after your breakup).
Because guys like Mike Chang don't go for girls like you.
You're a nobody; just a weird circus sideshow who faked a stutter, who owns more Tim Burton movies that what can be considered socially acceptable.
At first, you thought that Mike asked you out due to the Asian thing. Like maybe it's due to parental pressure and he's just appeasing his traditional, Confucian "date Asian girls only!" parents.
But after meeting his parents, you think that's probably not it. Mr. and Mrs. Chang are ridiculously chill, second-generation Chinese-Americans who grew up in the Bay area before moving to Lima.
They're also pretty cool, as far as adults go: like Mike, they don't seem to mind that you favor black Victorian dresses and colorful streaks in your hair (you change them to suit your mood) instead of demure sundresses, North Face jackets, and Uggs.
If Mike is dating you because you're Asian - well, that's of his own accord. He does take stuff like his cultural heritage more seriously than you do, but he also hadn't been disappointed when you told him you're technically half-Asian and you've been raised traditionally American. ("My mom's Jewish. My biological dad's Korean, but he and my mom divorced when I was really young - and he's, I don't know, in Colorado teaching Spanish at a community college or something. I think of Luke as my dad.")
So you're still confused as to why you, because every time Mike catches your eye from across the room, he shoots you a smile that makes your heart stutter in your chest. And every time, it feels like you're bookmarking them in your memory because one of these days, he's going to realize that he's a sweet, good-looking guy and he's far too good for you.
--
So maybe going after the ball had been a fantastically stupid idea ("Very stupid," Kurt berates you later after the game, "Blaine said he's sure the guys on the other team were on steroids. What were you even thinking?") and a lot of people have taken it upon themselves to inform you of this fact.
Your parents aren't happy.
"When we signed the consent forms," Luke informs her, looking wan, worried and worst of all - disappointed, "We signed them because you promised us that all you were going to lie down on the ground."
"I'm all for female empowerment," your mom adds, shaking her head, "but you could have been seriously injured. Those were big guys out there and you're tiny, sweetheart."
They don't try to punish you.
You almost wish that they would so you could feel less guilty about something that you did out of instinct and boredom.
When Mike calls you after the winning match, he sounds pleasantly surprised that you're not grounded for life. "You're not hurting right now, are you?" he asks, for what seems like the millionth time.
"I'm just lightly bruised and a little sore," you reassure him again. If it's possible, you feel even more wrecked with guilt: you remember how he had been against you playing from the start and the memory of the concern look on his face when he rushed to see you at the end zone has been imprinted in your memory. "I'll be fine. I have the entire weekend to rest."
"I'll come by tomorrow with some Tiger Balm and some tea. My mom says that the tea will help you feel better."
"Great," you reply, horrified but totally lying through your teeth. "Um, thank your mom for me. That's so thoughtful of her."
The tea tastes even viler than you had anticipated, you smell like menthol for the rest of the weekend, but you feel almost normal when Monday rolls around.
For the next few days, Mike constantly hovers by your side. He keeps sending you these quick, hesitant side-glances, as though checking to make sure that you're all right. Whenever he touches you (holding hands in the hallways, kissing, making out) - he does it so lightly, you wonder if he honestly thinks you'll fall apart if he's not careful.
(On the upside: no one tries to slushie you for the entire week - a new record.)
But when Thursday comes along - you pull Mike into an empty classroom in between periods and inform him, quite sternly, that you're not about to break - and kiss him hard to prove your point.
Mike laughs against your lips, breath warm. When he pulls away slightly and looks at you, sincere and sweet, you feel a jolt of pride when you notice that his hair's slightly disheveled and his face is flushed because you did this to him.
He smiles, "Okay, I get it," before his lips ghost over your face - trembling when they press against your forehead, eyelids, the bridge of your nose, and only stopping when the bell rings - signaling that you're both late to class.
--
Mercedes is filling you in on the latest gossip on Jacob Ben Israel's blog at her locker when you suddenly feel a pair of arms snake around your waist:
"Hey," Mike greets you, cheerfully, ignoring your stifled shriek of surprise. "How are you?" He directs the question to both you and Mercedes.
"Good," Mercedes answers, smiling. You're too busy grumbling about how much you hate it when people sneak up on you to answer his question, and while you can't see him, you're sure your boyfriend's eyes are twinkling from amusement at this moment.
"So, I was thinking," Mike says, interrupting your annoyed complaints, "about taking you out for lunch today. What do you think?"
"Lunch date off-campus," Mercedes says, amused. "Romantic."
"Nice, but this isn't California, Mike," you protest, rolling your eyes a little. "We can't just go off campus for lunch - we can get in serious trouble if we don't have passes."
"But isn't Figgins still convinced you're a vampire?" Mercedes asks, before Mike even has a chance to respond.
Mike nods enthusiastically. "Coach Beiste is the hall monitor this period. She likes us; she'll totally let us go. And we can always stop by Starbucks and get her a coffee as thanks."
"Wait, if we're stopping by Starbucks, where are we having lunch?"
"Yesterday, you said you were craving burgers so I thought maybe Ruby Tuesday's?" Mike quickly adds, "If you want to go somewhere else - that's fine too! We can go to Starbucks if that's what you want - "
"Ruby Tuesday's fine," you manage to say, still stunned. "Um, I'll meet you in the parking lot?" Mike just smiles, pecks you on the cheek, and goes off in the direction of the front doors.
Mercedes clucks her tongue, looking at you approvingly. "Tina, you have that boy wrapped around your little finger."
"Shut up." You quickly pull out your phone to your calendar and frown at the screen. "Okay, I'm pretty sure that I'm not forgetting an anniversary. It's not his birthday, we haven't been arguing. I - "
"Tee, your adorable boyfriend is being nice and taking you out for a surprise lunch. Shut up and enjoy it. Now if you excuse me, I have to go play third fiddle in the cafeteria with Artie and Brittany." Mercedes wiggles her fingers at her, "Later."
On your way out, you pass Coach Beiste sitting in a chair near the doors. She doesn't say a single word to you, but she winks and nods her head at the door: a free pass.
Lunch ends up being great - even if you did have to insist three times that the two of you go Dutch. And true to his word, Mike stops by Starbucks and presents Coach Beiste with an iced coffee when the two of you make it back to school before your next class.
You're kind of ridiculously fond of this boy.
"See you in glee," Mike murmurs in your ear; it comes across as almost a question.
You respond by kissing him quickly (an affirmative yes is unnecessary) before pulling back and watch him duck into his Physics class. When you round the corner to your English class, you narrowly avoid getting a slushie to the face.
Luckily, Jacob Ben Israel had been the actual target, but you spend the rest of your class ignoring The Prayer of Owen Meany, wondering instead, if you need to start wearing a raincoat again. The brief honeymoon period of truce between the football players and New Directions is clearly over.
Your phone vibrates in your pocket, a welcomed distraction, so when Mrs. White isn't looking, you check your messages.
Kurt(1:54): home this weekend, movie night at my house?
You don't even have to think before texting a very enthusiastic OMG YES and hitting send.
--
When you arrive at the Hudson-Hummels' new house Friday night, you half-expect to find Mercedes and Rachel there as well (and last year, maybe even Quinn or Brittany, but Quinn's all tied up with Sam and Brittany's busy making out with your ex), but it's just you and Kurt. Apparently, Kurt's dad and Finn's mom are out seeing a movie and Finn had just been leaving for a game night with Mike and Puck when you arrived; Finn barely says hi before rushing out the door.
"Finn took a nap just realized he was running late. Mercedes is visiting family in Cincinnati," Kurt explains, after noticing your confusion. "And Rachel said her dads are taking her out to see something, so it'll just be the two of us. I'm sure that you're not completely appalled by the idea of my company tonight."
You can't help it; you snicker. "If this had been anyone else, I would think that this would be a ploy to be alone with me."
Kurt playfully rolls his eyes at you, but he's smiling brightly. He's probably glad to be home for the weekend. "So, what movies did you bring?" He raises his eyebrows at your DVD selections. In the end, the two of you decide on Chicago and Beetlejuice - old comfort movies that you both have watched a dozen times.
Violent old comfort movies.
"I feel like there might be something very wrong with us if Chicago is a comfort movie."
"It just means that we have impeccable taste." Kurt passes you the bowl of his favorite, dry cardboard-tasting organic popcorn just as the Six Merry Murderesses appear on the screen. "I would give up a limb to do this number in glee. I'd probably have to, for it to happen at Dalton. "
"The Warblers not into musical theater numbers?"
"Not unless Blaine somehow manages to sing all six parts at once - no."
"So, Blaine." You're striving for casual, but judging by the way Kurt stares at you with a clearly unimpressed 'yes, what?' expression, you're probably not succeeding. You stop trying to be subtle and decide to go for the Rachel Berry approach: "How is he?"
"Good." Kurt blinks. "He's getting pretty confident the Warblers have what it takes to win Regionals. A little delusional, but I think it's adorable that he thinks it's going to be that easy."
"Don't worry, we haven't even begun finalizing our set-list for Regionals." You sigh, "And I'm pretty sure that come Monday morning, Mr. Schue is going to give us another assignment-of-the-week."
"I bet you five dollars that it'll be related to Valentine's Day."
"Are you kidding? So not taking that bet!"
Kurt is quiet for the rest of Chicago (save for humming along to the music). However, a few minutes into Beetlejuice, you notice that he looks like he's visibly shaking from suppressed laughter. Finally, you pause the movie right when Lydia meets the Maitlands.
"What?"
"You totally took your style cues from Lydia Deetz, didn't you?" When you didn't respond, Kurt crows, "You totally did! Lydia Deetz is your Alexander McQueen."
You end up retaliating by tossing popcorn at him.
At the end of the movie, you spend a good fifteen minutes picking kernels off Kurt's living room floor and when you're in the bathroom, Kurt answers your cell phone and proceeds to tell Mike stories about you from elementary and middle school in speakerphone - all of them, filthy lies.
When you finally wrestle your phone away from him, you immediately run interference because you don't want your boyfriend to have sudden second thoughts about your relationship.
"Mike, Kurt was lying," you say quickly, ignoring the way Kurt is curled up on the couch snickering at you. "I didn't eat paste from the jar in kindergarten. I think Kurt's IQ has plummeted since he has to live under the same roof as Finn."
"Okay," Mike says easily, voice low and amused. "I just wanted to call and say hi. Oh, and speaking of Finn - he's getting his ass kicked in Mario Kart by me."
"Finn is bad at anything that involves him operating a vehicle, period," Kurt calls from his comfortable position. His eyes light up. "Hey Mike, ask him about 'the mailman'!"
There's a brief pause - you assume that's Mike doing what Kurt suggested - followed by a very loud Finn-like yelp ("DUDE! Kurt, that's totally not cool man!"), and then the call suddenly ends.
You raise an eyebrow at Kurt. "Do I even want to know?"
He shrugs. "Probably not, but it's a really funny story. Oh, and I think you missed some popcorn behind the couch." Because he's not a complete bitch, he actually humors your transparent attempts to get him to admit that he has a crush on the Warblers' front man.
"It's complicated - just because he's gay doesn't mean he's interested."
"It also doesn't mean he's not interested," you point out. "And after all, he serenaded you with Katy Perry when you were spying on them. He seemed kind of into you during your opening number at Sectionals."
"He also sang Baby It's Cold Outside with me and took me to see Rent," Kurt agrees, "But I'm just a little traumatized by what happened the last time I liked a guy. Finn ended up being my stepbrother which has far too many Flowers in the Attic overtones for my comfort."
"Artie and I watched Coming Home like, twenty times when we were dating. Trust me when I say that I understand what you mean by being a little traumatized by relationship fails."
--
To say that you're surprised and touched by Artie and Mike's P.Y.T. performance would be an understatement.
Mike's not one for grand gestures (and you don't particularly care or need them either - seriously, you're pretty low-maintenance) but it's what he whispers in your ear after he sits down that makes you catch your breath -
"I am so lucky to have you. I've liked you for ages and I don't know what I've done to deserve you."
- because dammit, he wasn't supposed to be the insecure one in this relationship, you can't help but think a little bitterly, even if the rest of you is overjoyed by Mike's confession.
It's not like that you want him to be super-aware of how attractive he is (and become arrogant; major turn-off) - but it's weird, knowing that he thinks of himself as a 'the skinny quiet Asian kid' when he's so good, sweet, and talented. It makes you wonder, again, if he's going to realize one day that he's out of your league - that he doesn't have to put up with weekly slushie facials if he dated someone - practically anyone - else.
Luckily, Kurt's text messages distracts you from brooding too much.
Kurt (3:23): good news: blaine knows my coffee order
Kurt (3:24): bad news: he likes someone else
Kurt (3:50): any chance you would like to become a foster parent of any/all GAP clothing i have in my wardrobe?
Kurt doesn't respond to your ??? WHAT? text, but later in the week, he sends you a Facebook Event titled "The Lonely Hearts Dinner" for Valentine's Day which takes place at Breadstix. In the event description:Come support the Warblers as they slowly acclimate to performing in less formal settings before Regionals! Believe me, we need all the support we can get! is very subtly snarky and 100% Kurt.
It doesn't take much convincing for Mike to agree to change your dinner reservations to go support your friend (and you suppose, your rivaling team for Regionals) instead.
(Part Two)
Author: svz_insanity
Fandom: Glee
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: Up to "Original Song".
Characters/Pairings: Blaine Anderson/Kurt Hummel, Mike/Tina, ensemble and background characters.
Word Count: Total - 8240. 3750 for this part.
Summary: The friendship between Kurt Hummel and his (currently happily taken) Single Lady Tina Cohen-Chang transcends geographic boundaries. Or at least different school districts. Follows the canon.
Notes: I love Glee friendship fics and I've always noticed that Kurt and Tina are often hanging out on the show and wanted to write fic about Kurt Hummel and Tina Cohen-Chang being BAMFs. This fic is written in present-tense, second person (the first part from Tina's POV, the second from Kurt's). If that's not your cup of tea, this might not be the fic for you. Special thanks to pyroclastic for her amazing S2 Timeline; it was so helpful for writing this.
Also, song title is stolen from Charlene Kaye's "Skin and Bones" and Dalton Academy is a boarding school; just go with it.
Romanticizing These Redundant Thoughts
{ tina }
No matter how you look at it; it seemed like all the couples in New Directions had their days numbered.
That by itself isn’t too surprising, given the number of times everyone has swapped partners, and considering how dysfunctional - and strangely incestuous - all the relationships were. It's like a never-ending game of musical chairs; you're never sure if Finn and Rachel are still together, or if you're danger of saying something at exactly the wrong moment - which has happened before to decidedly awkward results. You're still learning that a lot of the time, it's still better not to say anything at all.
It’s not going to be a surprise (because who are they kidding? Like you two are going to make it when even picture perfect Sam and Quinn are having problems), it’s just inevitable.
But it’s the wait that’s killing you.
--
Either the lighting in his shared double is particularly awful tonight or Kurt has been studying too hard again.
You can see the familiar dark under-eye circles creeping up again during your weekly Skype session - you haven’t seen them since before his transfer to Dalton, before everyone realized how serious things between Karofsky and Kurt had gotten... before a lot of things.
You don’t like it.
“It’s the latter,” Kurt confesses, a little rueful, when you confront him about them. “Dalton’s curriculum is a lot harder than McKinley’s and transferring mid-semester - “ he makes a vague hand gesture at the pile of teetering textbooks visible on his desk, then adds, “I’m not about to let my parents’ honeymoon money go to waste. I have a theory that the teachers here assign us so much work so we won’t have time to make trouble.”
You frown at your screen when Kurt surreptitiously adjusts his webcam to what he probably thinks is a more flattering angle. If anything, this new angle only makes him look even more exhausted.
“Sleep. You have the entire weekend to study.”
One corner of Kurt's mouth quirks up. "I'm spending the weekend at Dalton. I can't even make the commute home for our weekly dinner because of all the work."
"Yet here you are, talking to me," you tease, laughing. "Being all studious. I bet no one else is studying." Even through the crappy tinny speakers on your laptop, you could hear strains of music coming from the hallways of Kurt’s dormitory - which is to be expected at a boys' boarding school on a Friday night. The door of his room's shut, but if you try hard enough, you can make out the buzz of male voices. "Hey," you try again, "if you're not going to bed - you should at least socialize."
Kurt throws you a look that's half-grateful and half 'bitch, please'. Predictably enough, he ignores your advice. "So, Mercedes was telling me something very interesting earlier," he drawls, "something about how you were convinced that Mike was cheating on you with Brittany?"
He's trying to distract you, and damn him, it's working.
You groan a little from embarrassment.
No doubt, Mercedes had probably exaggerated how crazy you were acting. You fill him in on the real story (as well as some of your concerns and fears) while he muddles his way through one of his enormous textbooks - because your logic totally made sense, okay, you're not one of those psycho paranoid chicks like that girl from The Social Network.
When you're finally done, Kurt is staring with raised eyebrows. "Tina," he says slowly, giving you a look that suggests that you might be mentally deficient. "You do realize that Mike adores you, right?" Before you can even reply, he adds, "I'm not even joking: he's completely head-over-heels in love with you. He stood up to Karofsky in the locker room for you."
"You think so?" Okay, dial it down a little - now you're just sounding pathetic. "And he did it for you too."
"I'm sure he did, Mike's a nice guy," Kurt agrees, nodding. "But he's not the knight in shining armor type. He has trouble speaking up in class, so I'm sure he did it to impress you."
"Oh."
"And because he's a nice guy," Kurt adds, "he's not going to cheat on you with Brittany. Trust me, they're just friends. While we were still dating, Brittany told me she asked him out and he turned her down nicely. He's not interested in her."
While it's not like you don't trust Kurt (because you do, and he'll never lie to you unless you do something like insult Bernadette Peters in front of him), but it's just that you can't seem to believe that.
"So, how's Blaine?" you ask, and if Kurt notices that you employed your emergency subject change tactic, he doesn't call you on it. Instead, he happily tells you stories about Blaine this, and Blaine that and all you can think about is how Kurt has it so bad for this boy.
--
You almost wish you could blame it on something stupid; that you and Mike fought more often, because the only possible outcome you can see is having an actual serious talk about their relationship with Mike.
A legit, potentially awkward and uncomfortable conversation because of your stupid insecurities. That's the last thing you want.
You know Mike's shortcomings better than anyone.
He's a bit too passive, he's a big mama's boy, and his self-esteem could use some work.
But he also cares about you. After Kurt, so many people have also parroted that sentiment ("Girl," Mercedes had said, side-eyeing you in between periods, "did you seriously think that Mike Chang would cheat on you after conquering his stage fright to sing with you in Glee? You're crazy.") that you're starting to believe them.
Mike cares a lot about you.
He's cute, sweet, and almost universally as well liked as Brittany. His grades are good, he's a hell of a dancer, and he's on the football and basketball team. He's pretty damn perfect, all things considered.
And that's the thing: he's all those things - he's all kinds of perfect, he's a jock, and he's dating you.
You're kind of wondering about the catch; when he's going to wake up one day and realize he could have a pretty blonde Cheerio for a girlfriend instead of you, that he could trade you up for a nicer model (like Artie did with you after your breakup).
Because guys like Mike Chang don't go for girls like you.
You're a nobody; just a weird circus sideshow who faked a stutter, who owns more Tim Burton movies that what can be considered socially acceptable.
At first, you thought that Mike asked you out due to the Asian thing. Like maybe it's due to parental pressure and he's just appeasing his traditional, Confucian "date Asian girls only!" parents.
But after meeting his parents, you think that's probably not it. Mr. and Mrs. Chang are ridiculously chill, second-generation Chinese-Americans who grew up in the Bay area before moving to Lima.
They're also pretty cool, as far as adults go: like Mike, they don't seem to mind that you favor black Victorian dresses and colorful streaks in your hair (you change them to suit your mood) instead of demure sundresses, North Face jackets, and Uggs.
If Mike is dating you because you're Asian - well, that's of his own accord. He does take stuff like his cultural heritage more seriously than you do, but he also hadn't been disappointed when you told him you're technically half-Asian and you've been raised traditionally American. ("My mom's Jewish. My biological dad's Korean, but he and my mom divorced when I was really young - and he's, I don't know, in Colorado teaching Spanish at a community college or something. I think of Luke as my dad.")
So you're still confused as to why you, because every time Mike catches your eye from across the room, he shoots you a smile that makes your heart stutter in your chest. And every time, it feels like you're bookmarking them in your memory because one of these days, he's going to realize that he's a sweet, good-looking guy and he's far too good for you.
--
So maybe going after the ball had been a fantastically stupid idea ("Very stupid," Kurt berates you later after the game, "Blaine said he's sure the guys on the other team were on steroids. What were you even thinking?") and a lot of people have taken it upon themselves to inform you of this fact.
Your parents aren't happy.
"When we signed the consent forms," Luke informs her, looking wan, worried and worst of all - disappointed, "We signed them because you promised us that all you were going to lie down on the ground."
"I'm all for female empowerment," your mom adds, shaking her head, "but you could have been seriously injured. Those were big guys out there and you're tiny, sweetheart."
They don't try to punish you.
You almost wish that they would so you could feel less guilty about something that you did out of instinct and boredom.
When Mike calls you after the winning match, he sounds pleasantly surprised that you're not grounded for life. "You're not hurting right now, are you?" he asks, for what seems like the millionth time.
"I'm just lightly bruised and a little sore," you reassure him again. If it's possible, you feel even more wrecked with guilt: you remember how he had been against you playing from the start and the memory of the concern look on his face when he rushed to see you at the end zone has been imprinted in your memory. "I'll be fine. I have the entire weekend to rest."
"I'll come by tomorrow with some Tiger Balm and some tea. My mom says that the tea will help you feel better."
"Great," you reply, horrified but totally lying through your teeth. "Um, thank your mom for me. That's so thoughtful of her."
The tea tastes even viler than you had anticipated, you smell like menthol for the rest of the weekend, but you feel almost normal when Monday rolls around.
For the next few days, Mike constantly hovers by your side. He keeps sending you these quick, hesitant side-glances, as though checking to make sure that you're all right. Whenever he touches you (holding hands in the hallways, kissing, making out) - he does it so lightly, you wonder if he honestly thinks you'll fall apart if he's not careful.
(On the upside: no one tries to slushie you for the entire week - a new record.)
But when Thursday comes along - you pull Mike into an empty classroom in between periods and inform him, quite sternly, that you're not about to break - and kiss him hard to prove your point.
Mike laughs against your lips, breath warm. When he pulls away slightly and looks at you, sincere and sweet, you feel a jolt of pride when you notice that his hair's slightly disheveled and his face is flushed because you did this to him.
He smiles, "Okay, I get it," before his lips ghost over your face - trembling when they press against your forehead, eyelids, the bridge of your nose, and only stopping when the bell rings - signaling that you're both late to class.
--
Mercedes is filling you in on the latest gossip on Jacob Ben Israel's blog at her locker when you suddenly feel a pair of arms snake around your waist:
"Hey," Mike greets you, cheerfully, ignoring your stifled shriek of surprise. "How are you?" He directs the question to both you and Mercedes.
"Good," Mercedes answers, smiling. You're too busy grumbling about how much you hate it when people sneak up on you to answer his question, and while you can't see him, you're sure your boyfriend's eyes are twinkling from amusement at this moment.
"So, I was thinking," Mike says, interrupting your annoyed complaints, "about taking you out for lunch today. What do you think?"
"Lunch date off-campus," Mercedes says, amused. "Romantic."
"Nice, but this isn't California, Mike," you protest, rolling your eyes a little. "We can't just go off campus for lunch - we can get in serious trouble if we don't have passes."
"But isn't Figgins still convinced you're a vampire?" Mercedes asks, before Mike even has a chance to respond.
Mike nods enthusiastically. "Coach Beiste is the hall monitor this period. She likes us; she'll totally let us go. And we can always stop by Starbucks and get her a coffee as thanks."
"Wait, if we're stopping by Starbucks, where are we having lunch?"
"Yesterday, you said you were craving burgers so I thought maybe Ruby Tuesday's?" Mike quickly adds, "If you want to go somewhere else - that's fine too! We can go to Starbucks if that's what you want - "
"Ruby Tuesday's fine," you manage to say, still stunned. "Um, I'll meet you in the parking lot?" Mike just smiles, pecks you on the cheek, and goes off in the direction of the front doors.
Mercedes clucks her tongue, looking at you approvingly. "Tina, you have that boy wrapped around your little finger."
"Shut up." You quickly pull out your phone to your calendar and frown at the screen. "Okay, I'm pretty sure that I'm not forgetting an anniversary. It's not his birthday, we haven't been arguing. I - "
"Tee, your adorable boyfriend is being nice and taking you out for a surprise lunch. Shut up and enjoy it. Now if you excuse me, I have to go play third fiddle in the cafeteria with Artie and Brittany." Mercedes wiggles her fingers at her, "Later."
On your way out, you pass Coach Beiste sitting in a chair near the doors. She doesn't say a single word to you, but she winks and nods her head at the door: a free pass.
Lunch ends up being great - even if you did have to insist three times that the two of you go Dutch. And true to his word, Mike stops by Starbucks and presents Coach Beiste with an iced coffee when the two of you make it back to school before your next class.
You're kind of ridiculously fond of this boy.
"See you in glee," Mike murmurs in your ear; it comes across as almost a question.
You respond by kissing him quickly (an affirmative yes is unnecessary) before pulling back and watch him duck into his Physics class. When you round the corner to your English class, you narrowly avoid getting a slushie to the face.
Luckily, Jacob Ben Israel had been the actual target, but you spend the rest of your class ignoring The Prayer of Owen Meany, wondering instead, if you need to start wearing a raincoat again. The brief honeymoon period of truce between the football players and New Directions is clearly over.
Your phone vibrates in your pocket, a welcomed distraction, so when Mrs. White isn't looking, you check your messages.
Kurt(1:54): home this weekend, movie night at my house?
You don't even have to think before texting a very enthusiastic OMG YES and hitting send.
--
When you arrive at the Hudson-Hummels' new house Friday night, you half-expect to find Mercedes and Rachel there as well (and last year, maybe even Quinn or Brittany, but Quinn's all tied up with Sam and Brittany's busy making out with your ex), but it's just you and Kurt. Apparently, Kurt's dad and Finn's mom are out seeing a movie and Finn had just been leaving for a game night with Mike and Puck when you arrived; Finn barely says hi before rushing out the door.
"Finn took a nap just realized he was running late. Mercedes is visiting family in Cincinnati," Kurt explains, after noticing your confusion. "And Rachel said her dads are taking her out to see something, so it'll just be the two of us. I'm sure that you're not completely appalled by the idea of my company tonight."
You can't help it; you snicker. "If this had been anyone else, I would think that this would be a ploy to be alone with me."
Kurt playfully rolls his eyes at you, but he's smiling brightly. He's probably glad to be home for the weekend. "So, what movies did you bring?" He raises his eyebrows at your DVD selections. In the end, the two of you decide on Chicago and Beetlejuice - old comfort movies that you both have watched a dozen times.
Violent old comfort movies.
"I feel like there might be something very wrong with us if Chicago is a comfort movie."
"It just means that we have impeccable taste." Kurt passes you the bowl of his favorite, dry cardboard-tasting organic popcorn just as the Six Merry Murderesses appear on the screen. "I would give up a limb to do this number in glee. I'd probably have to, for it to happen at Dalton. "
"The Warblers not into musical theater numbers?"
"Not unless Blaine somehow manages to sing all six parts at once - no."
"So, Blaine." You're striving for casual, but judging by the way Kurt stares at you with a clearly unimpressed 'yes, what?' expression, you're probably not succeeding. You stop trying to be subtle and decide to go for the Rachel Berry approach: "How is he?"
"Good." Kurt blinks. "He's getting pretty confident the Warblers have what it takes to win Regionals. A little delusional, but I think it's adorable that he thinks it's going to be that easy."
"Don't worry, we haven't even begun finalizing our set-list for Regionals." You sigh, "And I'm pretty sure that come Monday morning, Mr. Schue is going to give us another assignment-of-the-week."
"I bet you five dollars that it'll be related to Valentine's Day."
"Are you kidding? So not taking that bet!"
Kurt is quiet for the rest of Chicago (save for humming along to the music). However, a few minutes into Beetlejuice, you notice that he looks like he's visibly shaking from suppressed laughter. Finally, you pause the movie right when Lydia meets the Maitlands.
"What?"
"You totally took your style cues from Lydia Deetz, didn't you?" When you didn't respond, Kurt crows, "You totally did! Lydia Deetz is your Alexander McQueen."
You end up retaliating by tossing popcorn at him.
At the end of the movie, you spend a good fifteen minutes picking kernels off Kurt's living room floor and when you're in the bathroom, Kurt answers your cell phone and proceeds to tell Mike stories about you from elementary and middle school in speakerphone - all of them, filthy lies.
When you finally wrestle your phone away from him, you immediately run interference because you don't want your boyfriend to have sudden second thoughts about your relationship.
"Mike, Kurt was lying," you say quickly, ignoring the way Kurt is curled up on the couch snickering at you. "I didn't eat paste from the jar in kindergarten. I think Kurt's IQ has plummeted since he has to live under the same roof as Finn."
"Okay," Mike says easily, voice low and amused. "I just wanted to call and say hi. Oh, and speaking of Finn - he's getting his ass kicked in Mario Kart by me."
"Finn is bad at anything that involves him operating a vehicle, period," Kurt calls from his comfortable position. His eyes light up. "Hey Mike, ask him about 'the mailman'!"
There's a brief pause - you assume that's Mike doing what Kurt suggested - followed by a very loud Finn-like yelp ("DUDE! Kurt, that's totally not cool man!"), and then the call suddenly ends.
You raise an eyebrow at Kurt. "Do I even want to know?"
He shrugs. "Probably not, but it's a really funny story. Oh, and I think you missed some popcorn behind the couch." Because he's not a complete bitch, he actually humors your transparent attempts to get him to admit that he has a crush on the Warblers' front man.
"It's complicated - just because he's gay doesn't mean he's interested."
"It also doesn't mean he's not interested," you point out. "And after all, he serenaded you with Katy Perry when you were spying on them. He seemed kind of into you during your opening number at Sectionals."
"He also sang Baby It's Cold Outside with me and took me to see Rent," Kurt agrees, "But I'm just a little traumatized by what happened the last time I liked a guy. Finn ended up being my stepbrother which has far too many Flowers in the Attic overtones for my comfort."
"Artie and I watched Coming Home like, twenty times when we were dating. Trust me when I say that I understand what you mean by being a little traumatized by relationship fails."
--
To say that you're surprised and touched by Artie and Mike's P.Y.T. performance would be an understatement.
Mike's not one for grand gestures (and you don't particularly care or need them either - seriously, you're pretty low-maintenance) but it's what he whispers in your ear after he sits down that makes you catch your breath -
"I am so lucky to have you. I've liked you for ages and I don't know what I've done to deserve you."
- because dammit, he wasn't supposed to be the insecure one in this relationship, you can't help but think a little bitterly, even if the rest of you is overjoyed by Mike's confession.
It's not like that you want him to be super-aware of how attractive he is (and become arrogant; major turn-off) - but it's weird, knowing that he thinks of himself as a 'the skinny quiet Asian kid' when he's so good, sweet, and talented. It makes you wonder, again, if he's going to realize one day that he's out of your league - that he doesn't have to put up with weekly slushie facials if he dated someone - practically anyone - else.
Luckily, Kurt's text messages distracts you from brooding too much.
Kurt (3:23): good news: blaine knows my coffee order
Kurt (3:24): bad news: he likes someone else
Kurt (3:50): any chance you would like to become a foster parent of any/all GAP clothing i have in my wardrobe?
Kurt doesn't respond to your ??? WHAT? text, but later in the week, he sends you a Facebook Event titled "The Lonely Hearts Dinner" for Valentine's Day which takes place at Breadstix. In the event description:Come support the Warblers as they slowly acclimate to performing in less formal settings before Regionals! Believe me, we need all the support we can get! is very subtly snarky and 100% Kurt.
It doesn't take much convincing for Mike to agree to change your dinner reservations to go support your friend (and you suppose, your rivaling team for Regionals) instead.
(Part Two)