I dunno.
Hey, what's up Livejournal.
I don't write in you often but every once in a while I like to sit and have a little <3 to <3. I'm not sure how things are going at this moment. I just quit my job at the bar, thank god. I can't believe I worked there so long. So much work and bullshit. So much cash... Hrmm that was a big plus. At least Jeff and I got this place at 48th and Warrington in SW philly. Yeah it's far from Drexel. Yeah it's supposed to be like that. Yeah.
I dunno what I think of this year ahead of me. I'll be a senior at Drexel, almost, technically. I'm really ready to quit that shit. Fuckkkk school it's really annoying. I'm not a big fan. I am not a preppy white kid with a popped coller and itty bitty guinness hat that's bent to shit and sticks on the top of their head like a zit. I do not ever use the threat of calling in my father in a confrontation, or ask if the angry party knows who he is.
On another note, I'm not some kid so grossed out with mainstream culture that I take up an entirely worse counter culture and live my life to that extreme. Punks, goths, squatters, animal rights activists, and emo kids beware. I'm not like you.
Where do I fit? I dunno. I dress like a skater (??) I guess. I don't skateboard, and I don't even know anyone that currently skateboards anymore. I'm not a thug wannabe kid who does whatever he can to fuck with authority, cuz i'm way smarter than that. hrmm.
I don't play any sports. Tried to a couple times, thought it would be cool. bunch of friends and lots of things to get good or better at. Well, none of those worked either.
I play marvel, but I don't think you can classify that as a substantial subculture into which a person would fall. Although I wouldn't say that I happen to play marvel, like I happen to have played tetris a couple times. I'd say I'm an active marvel player. Whatever that means.
I really hate the film crowd of kids at drexel for the most part. I dunno why I just really feel alienated by them because of their love of movies. Shit, I don't love movies, i just want to do audio on them. That's all. I'm not trying to be the next james cameron and I'm not trying to be some weird mixture of tarantino and kurosawa, despite however awesome that would be.
I have soooooooooooooo many friends it's ridiculous. Honestly I can't even keep track of them. My memory is really horrible and I live in the extreme now, so sometimes I honestly forget about people, and I can't really help it. I forget almost everything. It's actually remarkable. I used to have arguments with Kara where she would say all these things I never even remembered doing. I am still not entirely sure whether or not these were made up in her head (cuz face it girl, you are crazy too).
The thing with most of my friends is that none of them are close friends. I kinda drift around from group of friends to group of friends without aim or reason. Honestly it's usually whoever is easiest to hang out with considering my current living condition, or whoever calls me first.
I have no idea why I'm writing any of this. Truth be told I'm sitting at home bored with nothing really to do. I could have called friends but I hung out with Alice all day and I am pretty tired.
Oh yea I remember why I wrote this. Somewhere along the way of working, school, and hanging out all the time i kinda forgot who I am. Maybe it's because I lost my ipod and my computer no longer plays sound, so I have no music to listen to on a consistant basis (except the delightful music we play at the bar... bitches, hos, clothes, dough and hydro... etc etc... rims... car... etc...).
So, I know i'm a pretty talented guy and if I try and put together any sort of project I can prob make it happen, I just dunno what to do. Should I get a G4 and start makin movies?? Just do audio on movies? Should I start making up beats for kids since I know so many that like to freestyle.? should I freestyle myself? should I become a photographer for my sister's modeling agency? I dunno.
I'd kinda like to sit down and figure out a blueprint for the rest of my life, but that's exceedingly trivial when your life is totally random, or so it seems.
I'd like to keep writing in my livejournal too though, and this is probably even more trivial, so it seems.
Anyways I just wrote a whole entry and I haven't said shit. Honestly I dunno what to say. My brain feels like one of those freezer pops once you suck all the colour and flavour out of it. Just cold and bland. I know I got thoughts up in there somewhere, and feelings and stuff like that, but jeeeez I can't show them or share them for shit. Wtf is wrong with me?
There is a lot of things I guess i'd like to say to a lot of people, but I wouldn't say it to them in real life and most of them don't read this anyway, or at least I'm not aware of. So really, what would be the fucking point?
It's not bad stuff at all, there are people I'd like to say "hey, you mean a lot to me and i cherish the friendship that we've built, even if it's just at work, because that's what helps me make it through the fucking day without stealing a taxi cab and hitting about 20 people"
and to another i'd like to say "i think about you all the time and i'm glad you're part of my life. it's sad that things have to be this way between us at the moment, but that's how life is. Later in life I'm sure we can build a beautiful and strong relationship based on how long we've been interested in eachother. I'm just glad that you aren't as shortsighted as some of your friends and understand where I am coming from in this situation and even tho it'll be rough for a while i'm sure it'll all work out in the end."
Ok i'm done.
pz- aaron
PS - here's a fuck list for you guys... fuck you i'm out.
FUCK YOUs-
Drexel- how many times hast thou graced this list?
Mad Mex- "it's been fun, but i'm DONE!" - my resignation letter.
FUCK MEs-
whatever i don't even need to write in this. just be more gentle next time ... wait what?
FUCK YEAHs-
Most of the Mad Mex staff, you guys are really cool and fun, but the job is not. "fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, you're cool... fuck you I'm out."
I don't write in you often but every once in a while I like to sit and have a little <3 to <3. I'm not sure how things are going at this moment. I just quit my job at the bar, thank god. I can't believe I worked there so long. So much work and bullshit. So much cash... Hrmm that was a big plus. At least Jeff and I got this place at 48th and Warrington in SW philly. Yeah it's far from Drexel. Yeah it's supposed to be like that. Yeah.
I dunno what I think of this year ahead of me. I'll be a senior at Drexel, almost, technically. I'm really ready to quit that shit. Fuckkkk school it's really annoying. I'm not a big fan. I am not a preppy white kid with a popped coller and itty bitty guinness hat that's bent to shit and sticks on the top of their head like a zit. I do not ever use the threat of calling in my father in a confrontation, or ask if the angry party knows who he is.
On another note, I'm not some kid so grossed out with mainstream culture that I take up an entirely worse counter culture and live my life to that extreme. Punks, goths, squatters, animal rights activists, and emo kids beware. I'm not like you.
Where do I fit? I dunno. I dress like a skater (??) I guess. I don't skateboard, and I don't even know anyone that currently skateboards anymore. I'm not a thug wannabe kid who does whatever he can to fuck with authority, cuz i'm way smarter than that. hrmm.
I don't play any sports. Tried to a couple times, thought it would be cool. bunch of friends and lots of things to get good or better at. Well, none of those worked either.
I play marvel, but I don't think you can classify that as a substantial subculture into which a person would fall. Although I wouldn't say that I happen to play marvel, like I happen to have played tetris a couple times. I'd say I'm an active marvel player. Whatever that means.
I really hate the film crowd of kids at drexel for the most part. I dunno why I just really feel alienated by them because of their love of movies. Shit, I don't love movies, i just want to do audio on them. That's all. I'm not trying to be the next james cameron and I'm not trying to be some weird mixture of tarantino and kurosawa, despite however awesome that would be.
I have soooooooooooooo many friends it's ridiculous. Honestly I can't even keep track of them. My memory is really horrible and I live in the extreme now, so sometimes I honestly forget about people, and I can't really help it. I forget almost everything. It's actually remarkable. I used to have arguments with Kara where she would say all these things I never even remembered doing. I am still not entirely sure whether or not these were made up in her head (cuz face it girl, you are crazy too).
The thing with most of my friends is that none of them are close friends. I kinda drift around from group of friends to group of friends without aim or reason. Honestly it's usually whoever is easiest to hang out with considering my current living condition, or whoever calls me first.
I have no idea why I'm writing any of this. Truth be told I'm sitting at home bored with nothing really to do. I could have called friends but I hung out with Alice all day and I am pretty tired.
Oh yea I remember why I wrote this. Somewhere along the way of working, school, and hanging out all the time i kinda forgot who I am. Maybe it's because I lost my ipod and my computer no longer plays sound, so I have no music to listen to on a consistant basis (except the delightful music we play at the bar... bitches, hos, clothes, dough and hydro... etc etc... rims... car... etc...).
So, I know i'm a pretty talented guy and if I try and put together any sort of project I can prob make it happen, I just dunno what to do. Should I get a G4 and start makin movies?? Just do audio on movies? Should I start making up beats for kids since I know so many that like to freestyle.? should I freestyle myself? should I become a photographer for my sister's modeling agency? I dunno.
I'd kinda like to sit down and figure out a blueprint for the rest of my life, but that's exceedingly trivial when your life is totally random, or so it seems.
I'd like to keep writing in my livejournal too though, and this is probably even more trivial, so it seems.
Anyways I just wrote a whole entry and I haven't said shit. Honestly I dunno what to say. My brain feels like one of those freezer pops once you suck all the colour and flavour out of it. Just cold and bland. I know I got thoughts up in there somewhere, and feelings and stuff like that, but jeeeez I can't show them or share them for shit. Wtf is wrong with me?
There is a lot of things I guess i'd like to say to a lot of people, but I wouldn't say it to them in real life and most of them don't read this anyway, or at least I'm not aware of. So really, what would be the fucking point?
It's not bad stuff at all, there are people I'd like to say "hey, you mean a lot to me and i cherish the friendship that we've built, even if it's just at work, because that's what helps me make it through the fucking day without stealing a taxi cab and hitting about 20 people"
and to another i'd like to say "i think about you all the time and i'm glad you're part of my life. it's sad that things have to be this way between us at the moment, but that's how life is. Later in life I'm sure we can build a beautiful and strong relationship based on how long we've been interested in eachother. I'm just glad that you aren't as shortsighted as some of your friends and understand where I am coming from in this situation and even tho it'll be rough for a while i'm sure it'll all work out in the end."
Ok i'm done.
pz- aaron
PS - here's a fuck list for you guys... fuck you i'm out.
FUCK YOUs-
Drexel- how many times hast thou graced this list?
Mad Mex- "it's been fun, but i'm DONE!" - my resignation letter.
FUCK MEs-
whatever i don't even need to write in this. just be more gentle next time ... wait what?
FUCK YEAHs-
Most of the Mad Mex staff, you guys are really cool and fun, but the job is not. "fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, you're cool... fuck you I'm out."