i know something is broken /II and im trying to fix it
i feel like i should write something, i feel like i should do something.. i'm so mixed up right now. i have this nervous feeling in my stomache for no reason. I feel like i should be doing something, going somwhere but i feel like i'm not going anywhere at all. haha i feel so weird, like there's something out there i'm missing, something i haven't done or got to yet. what is wrong w / me? what if i never ge there... ah this summer was supposed to be awesome, it went off to a bad start and now i feel like im stuck.
i have dreams all the time that i talk to you, normally. i see you everywhere and there you are and we talk and you smile and i am happy. then i wake up and i remember you hate me still.. i know it' s my fault.
i like being sad sometimes. i like to sit there nd cry and listen to sad songs and feel sorry for myself. then once i stop i feel so much better like sunshine after the rain. i feel relieved, crying is great... only that's not how i feel now, i don't feel like crying.
i should really get a job, and start going to the gym, and start like practicing field hockey w/ martha and do something. why i do i waste away in front of the computer, i feel like it's such a waste of life... oh and maybe i should start my summer homework... but i really don't want to. but ah the thought of it really makes me mad cos i feel lazy and guilty... ahhhh nd i hope i get my liscense friday i'll be really mad if i don't get it...
weirdd entry.
i have dreams all the time that i talk to you, normally. i see you everywhere and there you are and we talk and you smile and i am happy. then i wake up and i remember you hate me still.. i know it' s my fault.
i like being sad sometimes. i like to sit there nd cry and listen to sad songs and feel sorry for myself. then once i stop i feel so much better like sunshine after the rain. i feel relieved, crying is great... only that's not how i feel now, i don't feel like crying.
i should really get a job, and start going to the gym, and start like practicing field hockey w/ martha and do something. why i do i waste away in front of the computer, i feel like it's such a waste of life... oh and maybe i should start my summer homework... but i really don't want to. but ah the thought of it really makes me mad cos i feel lazy and guilty... ahhhh nd i hope i get my liscense friday i'll be really mad if i don't get it...
weirdd entry.