Lost my best friend
Well, it's official journal...i had a discussion last night that basically said im not allowed to be her friend anymore...and i dont know what to do...i dont knwo how to fix it, b/c im afraid if i tried, i might hurt her again. This sux. it really sux. i cant lose this girl. shes one of the people i trust and its going to be a looming thing in the back of my mind for the next however long it takes days knowing that i just lost one of my best freinds...i called starneguster @ 1:40 am last night and cried my eyes out b/c i didnt know what to do. its just becoming too intense. im sooo thankful emily was there to just talk to me and listen b/c i really just needed to cry. i refuse to let this friendship end. this was a break where we thought about all the things we were thankful for, and of all the things i am thankful for, my relationships with my friends and family are the top. and i just cant believe that during this time when we all come together, two of the greatest friends are falling apart...my gosh...maybe we werent even friends...im sick of becoming the more narrow-minded mike husni that im develping into. i dont feel like my presence is felt anymroe. i dont feel like i do all the wacky things i used to...andi miss that. im sick of growing up and all this shit. im sick of all this crap. i want to be michael allen husni...a crazy kid from middletown that never had to worry about ruining relationships or beign himself...i want to explode. so to help, emily is takign time with me to go to the dover mall...i need my floppy hat, and today im getting one...ive got to put all of this behind me and concentrate on doign the things i love and am good at...that means beinga good friend to everyone i know...being able to have peopel trust you and not do stupid things...absolution...ill never achieve it, btu im going to do the best i can. Later dayz...
-mike
-mike