The Word -- October 3rd, 2006
Yes, Henry Kissinger is back in the White House. And that can only mean one thing. It's time for tonight's Word.
Experience
Experience.
Folks, whether you're talking about making the perfect martini,
Light On The Vermouth
or fighting the perfect asymmetrical war,
Light On The Troop Levels
you have to listen to experience.
Except To John McCain On Torture
And you know, Henry Kissinger has plenty of experience fighting an insurgency.
Been There, Napalmed That
As Nixon's national security advisor, he came into a tough situation - Vietnam. We were going to lose that war, but with his help, it wound up a tie.
They Got Vietnam, We Got "Good Morning, Vietnam"
Point is, he gave America peace with honor and that's exactly what we need in Iraq. Not that Iraq is anything like Vietnam.
Nam=Wet
Iraq=Dry
They are different. They're as different as butter and margarine.
I Can't Believe It's Not Vietnam! ®
But, folks, I'll tell ya, Kissinger's experience with Vietnam taught him something very valuable --
That Kent State Is In Ohio
That we lost Vietnam because we lost our will.
And Our Steve,
And Our Chuck,
And Our John...
And you know, Mr. Kissinger has not been shy about passing on his knowledge to President Bush. He told the president, "The only meaningful exit strategy in Iraq is victory." And you know folks, we must have a meaningful exit strategy.
To Go With Our Meaningless Entrance Strategy
All we have to do is follow the blueprint Kissinger has from his years serving Nixon. First, we do some wiretapping.
Check
Then, some secret bombings in a neighboring country.
Heads=Syria
Tails=Iran
And maybe, just maybe, overthrow a South American goverment, killing their leader.
Give Chavez a Chile Reception
Of course, Kissinger can't do it alone. We have to reunite the entire supergroup of the Nixon administration. We already have Kissinger, Cheney and Rumsfeld. We just need to get Colson, Liddy, and Haig. We could even thaw out Checkers.
[picture of Nixon with Checkers, a cocker spaniel]
With the Nixon team back at the helm, this war will end the best way possible.
Impeachment
And that's the Word.
Experience
Experience.
Folks, whether you're talking about making the perfect martini,
Light On The Vermouth
or fighting the perfect asymmetrical war,
Light On The Troop Levels
you have to listen to experience.
Except To John McCain On Torture
And you know, Henry Kissinger has plenty of experience fighting an insurgency.
Been There, Napalmed That
As Nixon's national security advisor, he came into a tough situation - Vietnam. We were going to lose that war, but with his help, it wound up a tie.
They Got Vietnam, We Got "Good Morning, Vietnam"
Point is, he gave America peace with honor and that's exactly what we need in Iraq. Not that Iraq is anything like Vietnam.
Nam=Wet
Iraq=Dry
They are different. They're as different as butter and margarine.
I Can't Believe It's Not Vietnam! ®
But, folks, I'll tell ya, Kissinger's experience with Vietnam taught him something very valuable --
That Kent State Is In Ohio
That we lost Vietnam because we lost our will.
And Our Steve,
And Our Chuck,
And Our John...
And you know, Mr. Kissinger has not been shy about passing on his knowledge to President Bush. He told the president, "The only meaningful exit strategy in Iraq is victory." And you know folks, we must have a meaningful exit strategy.
To Go With Our Meaningless Entrance Strategy
All we have to do is follow the blueprint Kissinger has from his years serving Nixon. First, we do some wiretapping.
Check
Then, some secret bombings in a neighboring country.
Heads=Syria
Tails=Iran
And maybe, just maybe, overthrow a South American goverment, killing their leader.
Give Chavez a Chile Reception
Of course, Kissinger can't do it alone. We have to reunite the entire supergroup of the Nixon administration. We already have Kissinger, Cheney and Rumsfeld. We just need to get Colson, Liddy, and Haig. We could even thaw out Checkers.
[picture of Nixon with Checkers, a cocker spaniel]
With the Nixon team back at the helm, this war will end the best way possible.
Impeachment
And that's the Word.