This isn't a fucking poem.

[cr4ck_the_sky]

I don't want my life to be like a TV set
I hate pretending everything's right
When its nothing but wrong.
I wish I could successfully make
my feelings into a song
One you'd hear and it'd make
you cry. You'd pretend to feel
my pain but I still dont think
youd understand. Theres something
wrong and I dont even know what.
Its these times when Im alone
I get so sad. When Im with friends
I hide behind a grin. But when Im
alone I let it all out. I think of
things to keep my busy. But every
time I do I slip back into those
memories played like a movie. Or
like a dream where you can feel
the pain. The memory of that
person who put me in ecstacy
That perfect smile that was
real. The laughs that were not
forced. He said I was too
attached and paranoid. But if
you found something perfect
would you ever let go even for
a moment? I tried not too. Now
that's all I'm trying to do.
Is forget him. Maybe if I take
a needle and push it through one
part of my brain, I'll forget
him completely. But I know that's
impossible. I have to suffer
through this as everyone else
does. But I never thought I'd be
the one who would. I never fully
understood other people's pain until
I went through it myself. I wish
he knew. Maybe if I had a second
chance I'd stop acting how he hated.
If he stayed his perfect way I'd
voluntary change myself to please
him. My ear will be a suggestion
box that he can whisper into. I
shouldn't even be dwelling on this.
I should give up. He was too good
sometimes, and sometimes not good
enough. I just want someone to make
me feel the way he did.