ROK Fic: Can You Hear Me Now - Part 1, Live Free or Die Hard, John/Matt, FRAO
Title: Can You Hear Me Now?
Author: CPWatcher
Fandom: Live Free or Die Hard
Pairing: John McClane/Matt Farrell
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Rating: FRAO
Prompt: Holly finds out about John's new lover
Kink: jealousy, conflict, verbal spewage, anger
Prompter: particlesofgale
For: Rounds of Kink, Round Five, Day Seven
Author's Note: So my phone manual says this can't ever accidentally happen, but just in case, I always hang up the phone after three-way calling and call waitng. Hope the colors don't annoy, I wanted a way to show simultaneous conversations.
Sequel to: Did Tennessee What Arkansas?
Can You Hear Me Now?
Lucy settled on her bed, in her old room at the house in L.A. It was spring break, and she’d opted to go back home, rather than stay at the nearly empty dorm rooms. Picking up the phone on the night stand, she listened to make sure her Mother wasn’t on the line. Upon hearing the dial tone, Lucy quickly dialed the number she had memorized.
Lucy McClane: Hey Squirt. Where the hell have you been? I’ve been trying to reach you for over a week.
John McClane, Jr.: Some people actually have exams to pass. And stop calling me Squirt. You know I hate that name.
Lucy McClane: You know you love it.
John McClane, Jr.: Do not.
Lucy McClane: Do too.
John McClane, Jr.: Do not.
Lucy McClane: Do too. Now cut it out. I got something to tell you.
John McClane, Jr.: Yeah, what.
Lucy McClane: Guess who I caught getting some…
John McClane, Jr.: Some what?
Lucy McClane: Sex, you doofus. A blowjob actually.
John McClane, Jr.: I don’t know. Who?
Lucy McClane: John!
John McClane, Jr.: John who?
Lucy McClane: John, your father, you dork. How many other Johns’ do you know?
John McClane, Jr.: Well, there’s John Mitchell, he’s in my advanced physics class. And then there’s John Spangler…
Lucy McClane: OK, a John, both you *and* I would know.
John McClane, Jr.: How the hell did you wind up watching John have sex? And ewwww!
Lucy McClane: It was a blowjob. And he was so busy he didn’t even know…
Holly Gennero, having just picked up the receiver, caught the last few lines of her children’s’ conversation.
Holly Gennero: Lucy Gennero!
John McClane, Jr.: Shit!
Lucy McClane: Oh Fuck!
Holly Gennero: Your *Father* had sex while you were in the same room? That son of a bitch…
Lucy McClane: No, Mother. Shit.
Holly Gennero: Are you telling me that you didn’t just tell your brother you caught your father with some woman having sex, getting a blowjob?
Lucy McClane: Look, it’s not what you think…
Holly Gennero: What I *think* is that your father has a hell of a lot of explaining to do.
John McClane, Jr.: Mom, why don’t you just leave him alone?
Lucy McClane: Mother, Daddy didn’t do anything wrong.
Holly Gennero: The hell he didn’t. Hang up John. I’m getting to the bottom of this right now.
John McClane, Jr.: You’re making a big deal out of nothing.
Lucy McClane: …blowing it all out of proportion…
Holly Gennero: Bye John. Hang up now. You too Lucy, I want to use this line.
Lucy McClane: Mother…
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
John McClane woke from his nap, sitting on the sofa, with the TV playing a different basketball game from the one he’d been initially watching.
Damn. How long did I sleep?
“Hey Kid? Why didn’t you wake me? Kid? Matty?”
Rising from the sofa, John spied Matt’s note by the phone. ‘Went to pick up a few groceries, back in a bit. 4:25pm.’ John’s watch read 4:30. He picked up the receiver and dialed Matt’s cell.
Matt Farrell: Hey, Sleeping Beauty.
John McClane: Why didn’t you wake me? I would have gone with you.
Matt Farrell: Nah, you had a tough week. You needed the rest.
John McClane: You still should have told me you were leaving.
Matt Farrell: I’m sorry. Ah… I left a note. I just walked up the street to that meat market. I just wanted to pick up a couple of those steaks you liked. Was gonna cook you something special for dinner.
John McClane: Yeah?
Matt Farrell: Yeah. Thought I’d wine and dine you.
John McClane: Yeah, what’s for dessert?
Matt Farrell: Me, of course. Little whipped cream, maybe some chocolate sauce…
John McClane: Making me hungry, Kid.
Matt Farrell: So you gonna eat me when I get back?
John McClane: You bet your sweet ass I am. Gonna put chocolate all over you and lick it off, then…
Matt Farrell: You got another call.
John McClane: What?
Matt Farrell: You got another call. That click you hear.
John McClane: What? What click?
Matt Farrell: That one. That means you have another call. Call Waiting?
John McClane: Call Waiting?
Matt Farrell: Yeah, I had the service turned on. So you wouldn’t miss any calls.
John McClane: That’s not something I would turn on?
Matt Farrell: No, ah, probably not. I turned it on. So you wouldn’t miss any calls from work?
John McClane: Ok.
Matt Farrell: So, you gonna answer it, or what?
John McClane: No.
Matt Farrell: They seem pretty persistent.
John McClane: Tell me how, Kid.
Matt Farrell: When you hear the click again, just press and release the hang-up button on the receiver. You’ll be talking to the other caller then.
John McClane: What happens to you?
Matt Farrell: Ah, call waiting? I’ll be on the other line. When you’re done with your other call, just press and release the hang-up button again.
John McClane: Yeah. OK.
Matt Farrell: Hey…
John McClane: I just got a dial tone.
Matt Farrell: You have to wait until you hear the click again.
John McClane: Too much work here. And people like this?
Matt Farrell: Yeah, man’s moved up from the string and two tin cans approach.
John McClane: Watch you mouth, Kid.
Matt Farrell: Sorry…ah there’s the click.
John McClane: Yeah, I heard it.
Matt Farrell: If you lose me, McClane, just redial me, okay?
John McClane: Yeah, got it. Hold on.
John McClane: McClane.
Holly Gennero: You perverted motherfucker.
John McClane: Ah, Holly, always nice to hear your voice.
Holly Gennero: You won’t be saying that when I’m through with you.
John McClane: Well, I’m sorry your alimony is late, but there was a crash to the financial markets, and my personal funds still haven’t quite recovered.
Hearing her mother rant from her bedroom Lucy picked up her extension.
Holly Gennero: Don’t pull that shit with me. How could you do that to your daughter?
John McClane: Fuck... She was in the bathroom. She barely saw anything.
Holly Gennero: She saw you getting a blowjob…
Lucy McClane: …Daddy I swear I didn’t say anything… I’m sorry
John McClane: Its ok, Sweetheart.
Holly Gennero: The hell it’s not okay. Some woman is on her knees giving you a blowjob with your daughter watching is certainly not ok.
John McClane: Lucy?
Lucy McClane: Look Mother, you’re blowing this all out of proportion. All I saw was the back of *her* head. And besides, I’ve given better blowjobs than that. It wasn’t a big deal.
Holly Gennero: Hang up this phone Lucy. I want to talk to your father.
John McClane: Hang up Sweetheart, we’ll talk later.
Lucy McClane: Sorry Daddy. Love you.
Holly Gennero: You see how fucked up you have these kids, John. You have sex in front of your daughter, and she apologizes to you?
John McClane: For the last time, it was a fucking blowjob, which she wouldn’t have seen if she hadn’t let herself into the apartment. I took away her fucking keys, so it won’t ever happen again. End of story.
Holly Gennero: You think you can get off that easy. You must be fucking stupid.
John McClane: No. *You* must be fucking stupid if you think I’m going to sit here and listen to you rant on me. Goodbye Holly.
Holly Gennero: John. John, don’t you hang up on me… John…
John double clicks the hang up button to get back to Matt.
John McClane: Kid. Say Kid. Fucking dial tone… All this stupid shit on the phone. Can’t even make a call without pushing all these damn buttons…
John double clicks the hang up button several times, finally getting a dial tone. He keys in Matt’s cell and inadvertently places a three-way call by hitting the hang up button again.
~*~*~*~ To Be Continued in Part 2 ~*~*~*~