Stargate Atlantis - Healing Scars - Rounds of Kinks Challenge
Title: Healing Scars
Author: CPWatcher
Fandom: Stargate Atlantis
Pairing/Character: John/Rodney
Rating/Category: FRAO/slash
Word Count: 3742
Spoilers: None
Summary: John tried to hide it, but Rodney soon figures out something’s wrong.
Author Notes: Written for thady for the Rounds of Kinks challenge. Prompt: Scars Kink: Body Shyness. (Sorry, this is late for rounds two and three. I blame my bad muse.)
Also, this is my first fic written for this fandom and this pairing, so please be gentle. All feedback is greatly appreciated.
Healing Scars
He hadn't noticed at first. What with the fact that he was completely surprised that John liked him as a friend, let alone wanted him as a lover.
And what a lover John turned out to be. He'd kept Rodney off balance, overwhelmed, sated. It was no wonder Rodney hadn't noticed, hadn't realized.
When he did, he even had to question it himself, going through his mind all his previous encounters with John. The blowjobs, the hand jobs, the sex itself. He was certain that in the three weeks they'd been together, having some form of sex nearly every two or three days, he was certain he had touched John's cock, had sucked him off. Somewhere in that timeframe he knew he did. At least he knew he'd wanted to.
But somehow, someway, he'd always wind up with John blowing him, or John's fingers or tongue or cock in his ass, giving him the most mind-blowing orgasm of his life. And whenever he'd reach for John, John always, always, kissed him and said he'd come already, and then he would kiss Rodney until he was breathless and sleepy.
Now, Rodney began to wonder had he ever touched John’s cock at all. But he knew the answer to that. It was yes, but only every through a layer of jeans and underwear. He'd never actually touched John's naked cock, nor for that matter had he ever seen John's cock. John would always strip Rodney bare, lavishing his body with touches and kisses and every wonderful sensation. And John would be shirtless, barefoot, with jeans unbuttoned, cock straining in the material. Rodney would be so turned on by how sexy John looked, how great he felt, that he never really noticed that the lights were always off by the time John had undressed. And John had been more or less half dressed by the time the lights came back up again.
Rodney went two more times with John, making sure he hadn’t just been imaging things, or overreacting. But each time was just as the previous ones. John was keeping Rodney away from his cock on purpose.
There was something wrong and on their next evening together Rodney vowed to find out what was going on.
#####
John had kissed and sucked and stroked Rodney until he was a quivering pliant mass. He'd stretched him to three fingers and had the scientist whimpering for him to fuck him. John was near bursting in his pants, wanting so badly to sink inside Rodney’s tight heat.
Kissing Rodney breathless, John thought the room dark and Atlantis obeyed. He began pushing off his pants. The lights came up and he stalled, thinking them off. He'd removed his pants and had his fingers in the waistband of his briefs when the lights came on again.
"Rodney... Stop playing with the lights." John thought the room dark.
"Then leave them on." Rodney thought the lights on.
"I like them off."
"I want them on."
"You're killing the mood here Rodney. Just turn off the damn lights and let me fuck you."
"No."
"No?"
Rodney thought the lights to full power and sat up on the bed.
John looked like a deer in headlights, standing at the foot of the bed, holding his clothes in front of himself like some frightened virgin.
"Why won't you let me see you naked? Why won't you let me touch your cock?"
John wheedled. "You've touched my dick before."
"Through your jeans, yeah. That's all. Why? What are you hiding? You got some embarrassing tattoo? A piercing? What?"
John knew this day was eventually going to come. Rodney was a genius after all. Eventually he was going to catch on.
"No. No piercings. No tattoos." John said resignedly.
Rodney was frustrated. "Damn it Colonel. What the fuck are you hiding?"
John pushed his briefs down, exposing his erection.
"What the... Jeez John... What happened? Who did that to you?"
Rodney looked at John's wilting erection. The skin on his cock was discolored in thin long patches around and down the length of it, and there were spots like pox marks all over.
John thought about the different scenarios he'd concocted, trying to decide which to go with. He dismissed out of hand telling Rodney to fuck off and walking out on him right off the bat. That might have been an option three weeks ago, when they first made love, but not now. Rodney deserved better than that. Hell, Rodney deserved better than that even back then.
That left the sadistic wannabe dominatrix, the angry ex-girlfriend, or the tortured captured prisoner story.
But when John opened his mouth he was surprised at the words that tumbled out.
"When I was 15 my father caught me jerking off to a porn magazine."
Rodney raised his eyebrows in question.
John continued softly, "It was a *Playgirl* magazine."
Rodney nodded his head in sudden understanding. John had told him before that his father was a controlling bastard. But this, to do this to your own child?
"He totally freaked. Said he wouldn't have a faggot for a son. Said he'd kill me as soon as he'd let me ruin the Sheppard reputation." John's voice got softer still as his eyes glaze over at the memories. Rodney strained to hear even as he forced himself to stay still, to listen, and to reign in his anger. "He beat me so bad. He may actually have been trying to kill me. I passed out, because when I woke it was to searing burning pain. He had tied me down to the bed and then twisted a leather shoestring tight around me. He was burning me with cigarettes. Burning me, and yelling at me and telling me I'd better behave. After awhile I passed out again."
"That bastard." Rodney choked out through clenched teeth.
“When I woke again, I was left tied to my bed for at least another day or two, with my penis still tied up. When he finally came back into the room, he untied me and laid down new rules."
Rodney watched as John voice and posture changed to mimic his father. "You are a Sheppard. You hail from one of the finest Air Force families around. You will keep that tradition if I have to pull every damn string in the book. You will do as you are told or so help me I will hunt you down and end your miserable life myself. I don’t actually expect you to amount to anything, you little faggot, but so help you, you'd better not fucking embarrass me."
The determined gleam rose in John's eyes and his familiar smirk came out. "I did as I was told. Got into the Air Force younger than he did when he went in. I rose through the ranks faster. I was the best fucking pilot they had. And every chance I got I rubbed it into the old man's face. Because I did better than he possibly imagined, he was jealous. The son of a bitch went out his way to hurt my career. He had me posting to the most dangerous missions, hoping I’d get killed. And every time I'd survive, because I refused to give him the pleasure of playing any part in my death. He thought posting me to chopper taxi duty in Antarctica was going to make be resign. But even when he was trying to wash me out, things turned in my favor. And because of a gene, I'm now the fucking military head of the Atlantis mission, flying ships he's only had wet dreams about. And there isn’t a fucking thing he can do about it. He's tried mind you. But through the years I've built up a few allies of my own. So now all he can do is sit back and hear about all that I’ve done and accomplished and grin and act like he's fucking proud of me, his only son."
John physically deflated then and Rodney watched him sag. Moving quickly from the bed, Rodney guided John to sit down on the end of the bed, even as John was struggling to put his clothes back on.
"Damn it John. Stop it." Rodney yelled as he snatched John's pants and threw them across the room. "I know I'm known for being heartless, conceited and self centered. And it's true. But not with you. Never with you. In fact, I’m actually a bit put off that you would think I’m so vain and ... and... Whatever. That you would think I would reject you and everything you have to give based upon the way your dick looks.”
Looking away John murmurs. "You wouldn't be the first."
"What... What?" Rodney asked, almost afraid to hear the answer.
Instead of a reply, John stood up from the bed, retrieved his pants, stepping into them quickly.
"I never should have done this. I never should have ..." John walked toward the door. "I'm sorry Rodney.” And then he was gone.
Rodney sat on the bed, feeling as though he'd just been pole-axed. His first thought was to run out after John, shaking him and asking him what his fucking problem was. He nixed that thought for two reasons. First, he was naked. Second, he knew what John's problem was, and arguing with him right now about it wouldn’t do either of them any good.
"So what?" Rodney muttered to himself, looking into the mirror opposite his bed. "You're a genius. You figure it out." he told his reflection. And after staring for a few moments longer, he did.
########
It took two days. Well it actually only took one day for Rodney to get the supplies he needed. It took another day to finally trap John, who'd been avoiding him. But a well-timed end of day status meeting took care of that.
"Colonel, I need to speak with you for a moment." Rodney spoke as John tried to bolt from the conference room.
"Not now, Rodney. I've got a meeting with Elizabeth." John had scheduled an appointment with her, fearing Rodney would try to pin him down after this staffing.
Elizabeth looked at Rodney, then at John. She'd watched all meeting as John refused to meet Rodney's eyes. She didn't know what was going on between them, but she wanted them to work it out, the sooner the better.
"Actually, Colonel, I have something else I need to attend to right now. And I believe what Dr. McKay requires you for is important?" She tilted her head to Rodney questioningly.
"Extremely."
John finally looked at Rodney and saw the distress he was radiating. He knew that he’d been the reason for Rodney's current state. He owed it to Rodney, to take his punishment like a man, for deceiving his friend and lover.
with a sigh, John sat back down at the table opposite Rodney.
Once they were alone in the conference room, Rodney rose and strode to the door. "Come with me." He didn't check to see if John would follow. He knew that he would.
John had expected what Rodney had to say to him was too personal for the conference rooms and wasn’t surprised to find them arriving at Rodney’s room.
What he hadn't expected was the setup in the scientist's bedroom. He began to back away, but Rodney’s hand on his arm and voice in his ear stilled him. "I don't think so, John. You owe me this, at least one time, don't you think?"
John bit back a sigh. Rodney was right, and if this was the most that Rodney asked of him before dumping him out on his ass, then he could deal with it. He began stripping off his clothes.
The lights were bright, really bright. And they lit his body up harshly. John’s naked skin looked pale, washed-out. He could barely look at his own reflection in the full length mirror in front of him, his body felt more exposed by the extreme illumination from above. But he had nowhere else to look as he was surrounded on all four sides by full length mirrors. Even in his prisoner interrogation in Afghanistan he hadn't felt as bare as he did now.
Under the garish lightening, every scrape, scar, and blemish on his skin seemed magnified. The faintest of imperfections seemed as noticeable as the still purple bruising from when he'd sparred with Teyla's sticks.
Rodney could see all of him, every part of him. And Rodney was looking too, damn him. John felt like he was under a microscope, being studied, examined, and catalogued. Rodney's eyes raked over John's body clinically, detached. And John felt more vulnerable now, like this, then ever before in his life, even though Rodney hadn't touched him.
Not that John thought that Rodney would touch him, not with his deformed dick. No way would Rodney every want to touch it. Which was ok, good even, because the mirrors and the glaring lights had made his penis and balls crawl so far up inside his body that Rodney really would need a microscope to see them.
John's thoughts were interrupted by Rodney’s soft voice.
"John?"
"Huh? What?"
"I asked you if you trusted me. Do you trust me? Do you think I would ever hurt you?" Rodney asked seriously, looking closely at John for an answer.
John's felt pinned by Rodney’s eyes. He wanted to look away, to shrug off the question with a flippant answer, but he didn't. The look Rodney gave him spoke volumes about how important his answer, his honest answer, was.
"Yes, Rodney. I trust you. I don't think you’ll hurt me. It's just that..."
Rodney cut him off with a kiss. Puling back enough to break the kiss, Rodney whispered into John’s ear.
"I know others have hurt you, lied to you. I know it’s hard to trust, hard to believe. I know you think that this," Rodney touched John’s dick, "is all that some people want in a relationship with you. I want more John. I want it all."
Rodney stepped back, releasing John's cock, which had filled slightly with Rodney’s warm touch. He looked at John for a long moment, and then trailed his fingers lightly down John’s right arm, stopping at a semi-round scarred indentation.
He looked at John questioningly. "Where? How?"
John licked dry lips as he looked at the area Rodney was touching. "Bullet. Afghanistan."
Rodney nodded, leaned in and kissed the scar. John shuddered.
Rodney traced a long scar that ran vertically down the right side of his neck, eyebrows raised in question to John.
"A fight in Iraq."
Rodney licked the area.
A fading bruise under his left nipple from sparring with Ronon got him a nip and suck.
The healed cut over his eye got him kisses across his face.
Rodney mapped scars, bruises and scrapes all over John's body, kissing, licking and nipping them after John had told him when, where or how he'd gotten them. John was surprised he had remembered so many of them, actually most of them.
Either his memory was getting faulty, or he was getting far to aroused with Rodney's insistent hands touching his body so possessively. His cock was hard and leaking and Rodney had not even touched him there.
John watched as Rodney knelt in front of him, his warm breath ghosting over John's erection. He moaned at the sensation. Rodney began mapping the scars on John's legs and thighs.
Rodney waited until John held his gaze after stroking his big hand along John's dick. "Watch me." Rodney commanded.
John watched as Rodney's tongue traced along the length of his cock. He watched as Rodney traced the lines where the leather had abraded the skin, leaving it discolored and super sensitive. Rodney poked his tongue in each of the indentations and John could not stifle the moans or his body's jerking reaction.
And when Rodney began to suck him in earnest, John couldn’t keep his fingers from threading through Rodney's hair.
"Oh fuck, Rodney. So good. So good. Please."
John's hips were snapping forward, pumping deep into Rodney's throat. He was close. So close. Then Rodney let John's cock slip out his mouth.
"Fuck. Rodney. Please."
"Kneel down, John. Hands and knees." Rodney grunted out, tugging John's arm.
Sheppard smiled and complied quickly, bent over with his back to Rodney.
When Rodney began sucking kisses on his asscheeks, John couldn't suppress the groans. He spread his legs readily when Rodney requested it. And he relaxed himself when a slick finger pushed against his opening.
Prep was quick but thorough, with Rodney stretching John to three fingers in short order. Then as Rodney held John’s hips, he slowly pushed his cock deep into John’s asshole.
"Shit McKay. Yes. Please, yes. Just fuck me already."
Rodney began slowly stroking in and out of John's ass. He didn't speed up regardless of John's prompting, but he did shift slightly and nailed John's prostate with each stroke.
"Yes. Yes. Fuck. Rodney."
John was ready to lower his chest to the floor, letting Rodney ride his ass deeper but Rodney stopped his downward shift by leaning against John's back, wrapping his arms around John's waist and pulling backwards, lifting them both to their knees.
John grunted harshly at the deeper penetration. Rodney flicked John’s nipple with his left hand and stroked John's cock with his right. He felt John shudder and tighten around him. He knew John was close. So was he. He had to make his point now.
"Open your eyes, John," Rodney whispered into his ear. "Open your eyes and look at yourself."
John did as Rodney requested. His reflection still made him wince. Even with Rodney stroking his deformed cock, it felt great but he knew this was merely a one off so he tried to pretend that Rodney was ok with it. John closed his eyes again.
Rodney pumped his hips sharply and John's eyes flew opened again. "I said look at yourself. I want you to see what I see when I look at you. The man I see. The officer I see. The friend I see. The lover I see."
John eyes locked to Rodney's in the mirror. "Lover?"
"I'm sorry John. Sorry for whoever hurt you before. Sorry for everyone who ever made your dick the end all be all to you. It's not. You are so much more than this John. So fucking more. But even if it was just about your dick John. Then you’re still one hell of a hot fucking bastard. Do you know that? You cock is beautiful John. Fucking beautiful. And if I hadn't wanted to come so badly in your tight ass, I’d be sucking your cock right now, letting you come in my throat. Letting you come all over my face."
John groaned and clenched up around Rodney again. As he stroked inside John, Rodney murmured, “Next time you'll come all over my face like this John. Come in my mouth, come down my throat. Fuck I want to suck your cock and make you come. Fuck you till you scream, till you beg me. Fuck." Then John stiffened. Semen began shooting out his dick as Rodney fucked him harder.
Rodney tensed then heat filled John's ass and both men groaned. Panting, the men slowly separated. Rodney flopped down on the bed. John stood, looking uncertain.
"Get your ass in this bed Colonel, and turn off the fucking lights," Rodney wheezed.
John smirked and thought the lights off a he curled into Rodney’s side. Within moments, John was asleep. Rodney ran a possessive hand along Johns’ body, whispering into his hair. "I'm sorry that asshole of a father ever cause you any pain. I won't let him hurt you ever again."
########
Epilogue (3 months later)
It was after the morning briefing, everyone was headed for the exits when Elizabeth spoke.
"John. I need to speak with you for a moment."
Rodney was telling John he would meet him down at the labs. John told Rodney to hold on a minute.
"Yeah," John said, turning to Weir.
"It's personal, John. About your father."
Elizabeth watched John flinch then his face closed off.
"I'll just go...." Rodney started.
"No. Stay." John looked to Rodney then back to Elizabeth. "What is it?"
Elizabeth handed John the datapad she was holding. "I... There was an accident, John. Your father was caught an explosion. His injuries were severe."
"He bled out." Rodney stated, matter-of-factly.
Both John and Elizabeth's heads turned to look at Rodney.
"What?" Rodney questioned. "I just assumed..."
Elizabeth looked back to John. "Yes. Well… yes, unfortunately he did die of his injuries before rescue teams could get to him. Some sort of communications glitch. I'm sorry, John." Elizabeth put her hand on John's shoulder, squeezing gently. “If there's anything you need, John..."
Elizabeth walked out the room, leaving John and Rodney alone. She knew Rodney would help John deal with this news. They had become close fiends and Elizabeth was glad John would have someone to lean on.
John looked thoughtfully at Rodney, who returned his gaze head-on. A thousand thoughts ran through John’s mind. ‘Could his father’s death not have been an accident? Could Rodney have had anything to do with it? Was he actually free of the fucking bastard once and for all?’ John wanted to ask Rodney, wanted to know, but decided it didn’t make a difference. He had killed to save Rodney’s life more often than not out here in the Pegasus galaxy. And the report said his father’s death was ruled as an accident. And Rodney was here in Atlantis with him, he hadn’t gone to Earth. No way was Rodney involved. Although a small voice in John’s head said he liked the thought of Rodney looking out for him like that.
Rodney watched the thoughts flitter across John’s face. Once he’d learned to read Sheppard, he pretty much could tell what the man was thinking. Rodney gave John a final frank gaze, his eyes willing John ‘ask me no questions, I’ll tell you no lies.’
John ducked his head shyly. He knew the answer. He didn’t know how Rodney did it, but he knew Rodney did.
“I heard they have blue jello in the mess today.” John said.
“I like blue jello,” Rodney replied.
#### end ####