Don't let the past remind us of what we are not now.

[cptnjacksparr0w]

School starts tomorrow. It is just one brief day, and a relatively short shift, but something final seems to come with it. It will be a good day, but it will also rub into my face the absences of the people i've been letting myself not face. I've also realized today that not only will I be nostalgic for this past summer, but also for this past school year. Sophomore year turned out to be surprisingly good. I will miss history classes with Ben and Jillian, I will miss painting class and my independant study. I will miss so many things and so many people from this past year. So many things have changed over just a handful of months and change is something that's always seemingly awkward. I find myself missing solar polooza (haha what?) and the night we made the tent.. our first trip to chebeague and our second trip. then i find myself missing things i really should, like the inn and everything that went along with it. Sometimes, when I look over the fleeting sixteen years i've lived, the only words i can think to say is 'look how far we've come'. no one would have guessed life would end up the way it has so far.. this is not a bad thing, but certainly not a good one. I suppose this is my biggest problem in life, i always let the past bring to mind what i no longer am, or have, or do, or feel. This is why the new school year is killing me, not because i dislike school, but i have this unrelenting inability to let go of good times in the past, recent or distant, and any sort of change brings that to the forefront of my consciousness. I know that tomorrow i will go to school and have a nice time, but it is just another reminder of the changes that have occured this past year, and how we are now starting new and all those old things and people and experiences I knew i had to let go of eventually will be in the back of my mind... and not just the seniors, everything that has changed is stirred up again with a new start. Not only this, but i suppose school marks one more year without the inn, an everdepressing fact.

good day.