LANE KIFFIN IS A FUCKING DOUCHE

[volunteerspirit]

[ OUT IN THE CAPSLOCK FOREST, THERE'S A BIG BONFIRE. THIS GUY HAS A BOX OF SHIRTS LIKE THIS, A COOLER FILLED WITH BEER, AND A BOOMBOX PLAYING THIS SONG. WHEE, THEM SHIRTS MAKE DAMN GOOD KINDLING. ]

THAT DADGUM ASS....

Comments

[lostthebridle]

...WHAT HAPPENED?

[volunteerspirit]

THAT LITTLE INGRATE LANE KIFFIN LEFT MY TEAM. I WAS ONLY POKIN' A BIT OF FUN AT HIM!

[ TOSSES IN A FEW MORE SHIRTS ]

[lostthebridle]

*WATCHES THE FIRE CURIOUSLY*

WHAT'D YA SAY TO HIM?

[volunteerspirit]

WELL, I WAS ONLY TELLIN' HIM HE OUGHTA LAY OFF THE PICKIN' FIGHTS OR WHATEVER, AND HE GETS ALL DEFENSIVE ABOUT IT-- NEXT THING I KNOW, HE'S ON A DADGUM PLANE TO L.A.!

[ TEETERS A BIT... AND OPENING A NEW BEER. HALF OF THE ONES IN THE COOLER ARE EMPTY... AND IT'S A BIG-ASS COOLER. ]

[lostthebridle]

...NOTHIN' WRONG WITH PICKIN' FIGHTS.

[volunteerspirit]

IF YOU'RE PICKIN' FIGHTS WITH THE OTHER TEAM'S COACH, YEAH, THERE'S A DADGUM PROBLEM, SON!

[ TOSSES THE HALF-EMPTY BOTTLE IN THE FIRE ]

... WAIT, I WASN'T FINISHED WITH THAT 'UN THERE.

[lostthebridle]

YOU'RE SO DRUNK.

[volunteerspirit]

I AIN'T DRUNK, NEITHER, SON! MAY HAVE HAD A COUPLE, BUT THAT AIN'T GONNA TAKE ME DOWN!

[ REACHES FOR ANOTHER BEER AND... ALMOST FALLS OVER ]

[lostthebridle]

YOU'RE ABOUT TO TAKE YOURSELF DOWN.

[volunteerspirit]

YA' WANT ME TO TAKE YOU RIGHT DOWN A FEW PEGS, SON?

[lostthebridle]

YA GONNA PICK A FIGHT?

1/2

[volunteerspirit]

YOU'RE THE ONE WHAT'S PICKIN' A FIGHT, SON!

[volunteerspirit]

.... AIN'T WORTH IT.

[ TOSSES A FEW MORE SHIRTS IN BEFORE JUST CHUCKING THE ENTIRE BOX IN ]

[lostthebridle]

HOW'M I PICKIN' A FIGHT?

[volunteerspirit]

HUSH A MINUTE, BOY, IT'S GETTIN' HARD TO THINK.

[ SLOWLY CHUGS ANOTHER BEER DOWN ]

[lostthebridle]

THAT'S CAUSE YOU'RE DRUNK.

EVEN I KNOW TO STAY AWAY FROM BONFIRES WHEN I'M THAT DRUNK.