Fic :: Before You Go
Title: Before You Go
Author: kaiamira
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Kangta x Vanness
Disclaimer: I don't own them. Damn it to hell. ><
Comments: Finally got around to writing one of these. The quoted lyrics are from 127 Days. Kangta's real name is An Chilhyun, and Wu Jian Hao is Vanness' for those that don't know.
Summary: While with F4 in Korea, Vanness catches the evening news and discovers Kangta's intent to enlist in the coming future. He finds quickly that isn't something he can handle without seeing Kangta face-to-face first.
Vanness paces back and forth, wanting to keep himself busy. He's afraid to sit down; sitting down wasn't something he got to do very often now without a mic in his face and cameras going off with every few words he said. Touring Korea with F4 promotionally had been a highlight of his career, but also totally exhausting.
Now, though, was not a time for rest. He'd just sat down to watch the news, and while his Korean was fairly bad, he had known enough when the reporter had spoken about Kangta's upcoming military commitment to be blindsided completely. When had Kangta made that decision? Why hadn't he been told? Why had he been reduced to calling Kangta's publicist and demanding to be given his friend's new cell phone number? He hadn't even been able so speak to Kangta - only leave a message hours ago, detailing his hotel and that it was his last day in Seoul before F4 moved on to another city. It was now or never.
The sound of a knock on the door makes him stop pacing; Vanness' toned body is still, and he breathes a sigh of relief. It could be the maid, sure, or someone from the company... but he had a feeling it wasn't.
"Hey, Jian Hao." Kangta's greeting is bright, casual, just like normal as he steps inside. Vanness can't help but be shocked at how good his friend looks, but he keeps it to himself.
"Kangta..."
"You look like you've seen a ghost." the Korean singer observes, an accent still noticable on his Mandarin though it sounds much better than when they had first met. He shuts the door behind himself and slips off his shoes, which relieves Vanness. Kangta would be staying a while.
"I guess I just... wanted to talk." Vanness tries to make it sound serious, but he can't. He's just used to being fun-loving and happy around Kangta. How can he bring up something so big?
"Talk about what? It's been forever." Kangta exaggerates, seating himself on the couch. The hotel room is large, almost too large for one person, but it seems a little more right in Vanness' head with Kangta there. He sits next to the other singer and shrugs; it's been a while.
"I was watching the news, and... I didn't get it all, you know my Korean sucks, but it said you were going to enlist soon..." Vanness says, his voice almost tentative though his form is tense. Kangta's face darkens and he nods once, looking away and then letting out a small sigh.
"I should have told you, Jian Hao. Our music-"
"It's not about the music. How can you think that?" Vanness demands, growing angry, "You think I'm pissed because we won't be able to record?" he asks, raising his voice. He knew his reaction wasn't polite, but he couldn't keep it in.
"Well, why else would you be mad?" Kangta asks back, torn between being confused and fearful. His entire posture seems to be questioning Vanness' intentions, and it's almost too much for him to handle.
"I... I don't know. You're my friend, and it's dangerous... it's a long time..." Vanness swallows hard, looking at the floor as his voice gets softer, "I'll miss you." he finally says. Kangta's eyes widen noticably.
"I'll miss you too, Jian Hao," the Korean singer assures, "But we've been apart for a while and we haven't gotten together and-"
"I know!" Vanness exclaims, "I was stupid. I started doing all the other stuff because I felt you'd always be there. Now you might not be..." he says in a defeated voice. Something about his tone makes Kangta's posture change; the Korean musician moves closer, putting an arm around Vanness' shoulders.
"It's okay." he soothes, shocked as Vanness seems on the verge of frustrated tears. What can he say to placate the other male?
"I just... I don't like thinking we have no time." Vanness manages to say, his voice strained, "Something could happen to you, and..." he trails off, turning his head so his face is hidden in Kangta's shoulder. Kangta can feel the warmth of tears soaking into his shirt and for some reason he smiles, letting his free hand move through the other male's hair gently.
"I'm scared to do it," Kangta admits in a quiet voice, "There's a reason it's compulsory, Jian Hao." he reminds, sighing as Vanness moves closer.
"I wish you didn't have to." Vanness says softly, raising his head. For some reason Kangta can't help but notice how beautiful the other singer's eyes are even when he's crying.
"Then what?" Kangta asks, seeing that Vanness seemed to be so full of regret when it came to the two of them. Several emotions cross the other male's face until fnally Vanness smiles; the same smile that first made Kangta like him, even when they couldn't understand each other's languages. Slowly Vanness inclines his head, his lips brushing Kangta's in a soft touch, a barely-there promise. Even though it's the smallest sensation Kangta still gasps, instinctively following Vanness' mouth when the other male pulls away.
"Maybe that?" Vanness suggests in a playful voice, though his tone is laced with fear. Kangta smiles, his face slightly flushed as he brushes away the few remaining tears on the other singer's face. Once he's done that he takes the intiative this time, their mouths molding together as he slides a hand into his friend's hair, caressing the soft strands. Vanness moans and wraps his arms around Kangta, pulling him close, refusing to let him go as the kiss deepens, the barrier breaking between them.
Vanness isn't sure just when Kangta stands and starts pulling him towards the bed; he can't think any more. He can only smile, his fingers playing along the button-down shirt his friend is wearing, annoyed by the fabric. Soon it's unbuttoned, and the second his hands descend on Kangta's skin the Korean singer moans and falls back on the bed, guiding Vanness on top of him.
"Jian Hao..." Kangta pants the other singer's birth name, making it sound like a prayer as he lets his shirt be removed. His fingers quickly pull up the tank top Vanness is wearing, discarding it before he loses himself in the feel of the other male's body against him. Quietly he tells Vanness how attractive he's always thought the F4 member was, though he had never had the courage to say it before. Vanness grins, his lips making a steady path down Kangta's neck while his hands work at the belt of Kangta's jeans. Once it's undone he smirks, lips closing around a nipple with a small sound of pleasure as he moves his hand lower, rubbing Kangta through his jeans.
"Nhnn, Jian Hao... feels good..." the Korean singer manages to say, his body feeling so sensitive the more Vanness touches him. He arches his hips up helpfully and is rewarded by his pants and boxers being removed; he flushes slightly since he's the first one naked, but the way Vanness looks at him once he is makes him smile. He can't help but wonder how long Vanness has wanted this, but he pushes the thought out of his mind. All that matters is right now.
Then Kangta notices that Vanness is blushing; he tilts his head, capturing the other male's lips in a kiss while he works on divesting Vanness of his pants as well.
"Your face is all red, Jian Hao..."
"Yeah," Vanness says, almost nonsensically as he shifts to help Kangta in his task, "I... you're the first guy I've..." he doesn't finish his sentence, but Kangta gets the gist. That was one of the reasons he had never said anything before; he'd always assumed Vanness would be totally opposed to the idea. Yet, Vanness had been the one to start all of this tonight...
"It's okay," Kangta soothes, his lips curving into a playful smile as he pulls off the other singer's clothes, "I know what to do." he says simply. He shivers as Vanness presses him back against the bed and kisses him passionately, nothing between them any longer. He can't stop himself from touching Vanness everywhere, trying to satisfy the urges he had been suppressing since they had met.
"Chilhyun," Vanness whispers, Kangta's real name causing the Korean male to moan, "I want you so much, Chilhyun..." he pants, his hips grinding against Kangta's as they touch each other. Whether it was the first time he had been with a man or not, Vanness knew he felt desperate; he had to hold on to Kangta somehow, and right now, that meant being intimate with him.
"You need to get something... anything..." Kangta says, his voice clouded with pleasure as he tries to think rationally, "Lotion, anything like that." he instructs, his hands moving all along the planes of the other singer's sculpted body. Vanness shifts off of him and leaves the bed, giving Kangta the time to admire him while his friend searches for lotion.
"There." Vanness says, satisfaction on his face as he returns to the bed with a small bottle in hand. He blushes a little when Kangta tells him exactly how to go about everything, but the eagerness in his eyes makes the Korean singer flush. Why hadn't they done this before?
"God, Chilhyun..." Vanness mutters in shock, his hair falling into his eyes as he pushes a lotion-coated finger inside of his friend. He watches Kangta arch and moan and feels more powerful than he ever has before in his life. Gently he moves his hand until Kangta says he wants more, and then even more, until finally Vanness finds just how good it feels to push three fingers in and out of the Korean male and listen to Kangta call out his name wantonly.
"Now." Kangta finally says, clutching fistfuls of the smooth sheets as he looks up at the other singer. He shifts his legs apart when Vanness removes his fingers and holds back a groan when he sees how Vanness looks at him; hungry, needy, vulnerable. It's so mesmerizing that Kangta doesn't even feel pain when Vanness pushes inside of him; he just moans, wrapping his arms around his friend and kissing him, the heat between their bodies feeling so good he almost wants to cry.
"Chilhyun~" Vanness groans, his hands shaking as he draws his fingertips admiringly over Kangta's skin, knowing that if he moves too soon that he'll hurt his friend, "It feels so..." he can't even finish the sentence, but it doesn't matter. He lets Kangta know what he means in the depths of a forceful kiss, their tongues entwining as he trembles, the feel of Kangta's hands ghosting over his back to coax him to thrust completely maddening. The first motion is so intense that Vanness is afraid he'll come right away, but he suppresses it, looking into Kangta's dark eyes and feeling as if he was baring his soul to the other singer.
"Jian Hao... oh, Jian Hao..."
Vanness pushes on, his heart hammering in his chest as he embraces Kangta, wanting his friend as close as possible as his thrusts become more forceful. When he strikes that special place inside of the other singer he finds himself captivated by the way Kangta spasms and clings to him, panting incoherently in a mixture of Mandarin and Korean. It's so sexy that Vanness has to do it again and again, his body craving more of Kangta's desperation. He wants Kangta to understand how much they both needed this.
"Chilhyun, I can't..." Vanness' voice is low and erotic, his lips moving against Kangta's shakily, "I can't hold back..." he chokes out, overwhelmed by the physical and emotional sensations he was being flooded with. Kangta just holds him closer, tighter, making everything vanish but the two of them and their connection.
"Jian Hao, come with me..." the Korean singer urges the other male, writhing when Vanness' fingers wrap around his arousal, coaxing him to find his own release. A few moments later it happens, the two of them calling out each other's names as they cling to one another, Kangta's climax spilling hot over his friend's fingers as he feels Vanness release deep inside of him. It's satisfying, and while his body feels languid his heart finally feels at peace.
"Chilhyun..." Vanness says weakly, collapsing atop the other singer. As they embrace he presses his lips to Kangta's, sweaty hair clinging to his skin. He tries to memorize the way Kangta's lips feel against his, afraid that they won't get to do this again. He knows, though, when Kangta gazes at him serenely, that it will. There are a million things Vanness is sure he can say right then; that he wants Kangta, needs him, loves him. But he doesn't say it - he doesn't feel he has to. There's only one thing on his mind.
"Please just come back to me."
Kangta smiles, recognizing the words from their song together as he gazes up at Vanness. It fit so well, didn't it?
"I love you." he answers naturally, finishing the lyric in English. He doesn't have to say it, but he wants to, and soon he finds himself lost in a kiss that takes his breath away. It's beautiful, really, the way the lyric fit so perfectly for them - but he feels he has to add his own part as their kiss breaks, faces flushed with pleasure and bodies still entangled.
"I promise." Kangta whispers before he kisses Vanness once more.
~Kaiamira
Author: kaiamira
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Kangta x Vanness
Disclaimer: I don't own them. Damn it to hell. ><
Comments: Finally got around to writing one of these. The quoted lyrics are from 127 Days. Kangta's real name is An Chilhyun, and Wu Jian Hao is Vanness' for those that don't know.
Summary: While with F4 in Korea, Vanness catches the evening news and discovers Kangta's intent to enlist in the coming future. He finds quickly that isn't something he can handle without seeing Kangta face-to-face first.
Vanness paces back and forth, wanting to keep himself busy. He's afraid to sit down; sitting down wasn't something he got to do very often now without a mic in his face and cameras going off with every few words he said. Touring Korea with F4 promotionally had been a highlight of his career, but also totally exhausting.
Now, though, was not a time for rest. He'd just sat down to watch the news, and while his Korean was fairly bad, he had known enough when the reporter had spoken about Kangta's upcoming military commitment to be blindsided completely. When had Kangta made that decision? Why hadn't he been told? Why had he been reduced to calling Kangta's publicist and demanding to be given his friend's new cell phone number? He hadn't even been able so speak to Kangta - only leave a message hours ago, detailing his hotel and that it was his last day in Seoul before F4 moved on to another city. It was now or never.
The sound of a knock on the door makes him stop pacing; Vanness' toned body is still, and he breathes a sigh of relief. It could be the maid, sure, or someone from the company... but he had a feeling it wasn't.
"Hey, Jian Hao." Kangta's greeting is bright, casual, just like normal as he steps inside. Vanness can't help but be shocked at how good his friend looks, but he keeps it to himself.
"Kangta..."
"You look like you've seen a ghost." the Korean singer observes, an accent still noticable on his Mandarin though it sounds much better than when they had first met. He shuts the door behind himself and slips off his shoes, which relieves Vanness. Kangta would be staying a while.
"I guess I just... wanted to talk." Vanness tries to make it sound serious, but he can't. He's just used to being fun-loving and happy around Kangta. How can he bring up something so big?
"Talk about what? It's been forever." Kangta exaggerates, seating himself on the couch. The hotel room is large, almost too large for one person, but it seems a little more right in Vanness' head with Kangta there. He sits next to the other singer and shrugs; it's been a while.
"I was watching the news, and... I didn't get it all, you know my Korean sucks, but it said you were going to enlist soon..." Vanness says, his voice almost tentative though his form is tense. Kangta's face darkens and he nods once, looking away and then letting out a small sigh.
"I should have told you, Jian Hao. Our music-"
"It's not about the music. How can you think that?" Vanness demands, growing angry, "You think I'm pissed because we won't be able to record?" he asks, raising his voice. He knew his reaction wasn't polite, but he couldn't keep it in.
"Well, why else would you be mad?" Kangta asks back, torn between being confused and fearful. His entire posture seems to be questioning Vanness' intentions, and it's almost too much for him to handle.
"I... I don't know. You're my friend, and it's dangerous... it's a long time..." Vanness swallows hard, looking at the floor as his voice gets softer, "I'll miss you." he finally says. Kangta's eyes widen noticably.
"I'll miss you too, Jian Hao," the Korean singer assures, "But we've been apart for a while and we haven't gotten together and-"
"I know!" Vanness exclaims, "I was stupid. I started doing all the other stuff because I felt you'd always be there. Now you might not be..." he says in a defeated voice. Something about his tone makes Kangta's posture change; the Korean musician moves closer, putting an arm around Vanness' shoulders.
"It's okay." he soothes, shocked as Vanness seems on the verge of frustrated tears. What can he say to placate the other male?
"I just... I don't like thinking we have no time." Vanness manages to say, his voice strained, "Something could happen to you, and..." he trails off, turning his head so his face is hidden in Kangta's shoulder. Kangta can feel the warmth of tears soaking into his shirt and for some reason he smiles, letting his free hand move through the other male's hair gently.
"I'm scared to do it," Kangta admits in a quiet voice, "There's a reason it's compulsory, Jian Hao." he reminds, sighing as Vanness moves closer.
"I wish you didn't have to." Vanness says softly, raising his head. For some reason Kangta can't help but notice how beautiful the other singer's eyes are even when he's crying.
"Then what?" Kangta asks, seeing that Vanness seemed to be so full of regret when it came to the two of them. Several emotions cross the other male's face until fnally Vanness smiles; the same smile that first made Kangta like him, even when they couldn't understand each other's languages. Slowly Vanness inclines his head, his lips brushing Kangta's in a soft touch, a barely-there promise. Even though it's the smallest sensation Kangta still gasps, instinctively following Vanness' mouth when the other male pulls away.
"Maybe that?" Vanness suggests in a playful voice, though his tone is laced with fear. Kangta smiles, his face slightly flushed as he brushes away the few remaining tears on the other singer's face. Once he's done that he takes the intiative this time, their mouths molding together as he slides a hand into his friend's hair, caressing the soft strands. Vanness moans and wraps his arms around Kangta, pulling him close, refusing to let him go as the kiss deepens, the barrier breaking between them.
Vanness isn't sure just when Kangta stands and starts pulling him towards the bed; he can't think any more. He can only smile, his fingers playing along the button-down shirt his friend is wearing, annoyed by the fabric. Soon it's unbuttoned, and the second his hands descend on Kangta's skin the Korean singer moans and falls back on the bed, guiding Vanness on top of him.
"Jian Hao..." Kangta pants the other singer's birth name, making it sound like a prayer as he lets his shirt be removed. His fingers quickly pull up the tank top Vanness is wearing, discarding it before he loses himself in the feel of the other male's body against him. Quietly he tells Vanness how attractive he's always thought the F4 member was, though he had never had the courage to say it before. Vanness grins, his lips making a steady path down Kangta's neck while his hands work at the belt of Kangta's jeans. Once it's undone he smirks, lips closing around a nipple with a small sound of pleasure as he moves his hand lower, rubbing Kangta through his jeans.
"Nhnn, Jian Hao... feels good..." the Korean singer manages to say, his body feeling so sensitive the more Vanness touches him. He arches his hips up helpfully and is rewarded by his pants and boxers being removed; he flushes slightly since he's the first one naked, but the way Vanness looks at him once he is makes him smile. He can't help but wonder how long Vanness has wanted this, but he pushes the thought out of his mind. All that matters is right now.
Then Kangta notices that Vanness is blushing; he tilts his head, capturing the other male's lips in a kiss while he works on divesting Vanness of his pants as well.
"Your face is all red, Jian Hao..."
"Yeah," Vanness says, almost nonsensically as he shifts to help Kangta in his task, "I... you're the first guy I've..." he doesn't finish his sentence, but Kangta gets the gist. That was one of the reasons he had never said anything before; he'd always assumed Vanness would be totally opposed to the idea. Yet, Vanness had been the one to start all of this tonight...
"It's okay," Kangta soothes, his lips curving into a playful smile as he pulls off the other singer's clothes, "I know what to do." he says simply. He shivers as Vanness presses him back against the bed and kisses him passionately, nothing between them any longer. He can't stop himself from touching Vanness everywhere, trying to satisfy the urges he had been suppressing since they had met.
"Chilhyun," Vanness whispers, Kangta's real name causing the Korean male to moan, "I want you so much, Chilhyun..." he pants, his hips grinding against Kangta's as they touch each other. Whether it was the first time he had been with a man or not, Vanness knew he felt desperate; he had to hold on to Kangta somehow, and right now, that meant being intimate with him.
"You need to get something... anything..." Kangta says, his voice clouded with pleasure as he tries to think rationally, "Lotion, anything like that." he instructs, his hands moving all along the planes of the other singer's sculpted body. Vanness shifts off of him and leaves the bed, giving Kangta the time to admire him while his friend searches for lotion.
"There." Vanness says, satisfaction on his face as he returns to the bed with a small bottle in hand. He blushes a little when Kangta tells him exactly how to go about everything, but the eagerness in his eyes makes the Korean singer flush. Why hadn't they done this before?
"God, Chilhyun..." Vanness mutters in shock, his hair falling into his eyes as he pushes a lotion-coated finger inside of his friend. He watches Kangta arch and moan and feels more powerful than he ever has before in his life. Gently he moves his hand until Kangta says he wants more, and then even more, until finally Vanness finds just how good it feels to push three fingers in and out of the Korean male and listen to Kangta call out his name wantonly.
"Now." Kangta finally says, clutching fistfuls of the smooth sheets as he looks up at the other singer. He shifts his legs apart when Vanness removes his fingers and holds back a groan when he sees how Vanness looks at him; hungry, needy, vulnerable. It's so mesmerizing that Kangta doesn't even feel pain when Vanness pushes inside of him; he just moans, wrapping his arms around his friend and kissing him, the heat between their bodies feeling so good he almost wants to cry.
"Chilhyun~" Vanness groans, his hands shaking as he draws his fingertips admiringly over Kangta's skin, knowing that if he moves too soon that he'll hurt his friend, "It feels so..." he can't even finish the sentence, but it doesn't matter. He lets Kangta know what he means in the depths of a forceful kiss, their tongues entwining as he trembles, the feel of Kangta's hands ghosting over his back to coax him to thrust completely maddening. The first motion is so intense that Vanness is afraid he'll come right away, but he suppresses it, looking into Kangta's dark eyes and feeling as if he was baring his soul to the other singer.
"Jian Hao... oh, Jian Hao..."
Vanness pushes on, his heart hammering in his chest as he embraces Kangta, wanting his friend as close as possible as his thrusts become more forceful. When he strikes that special place inside of the other singer he finds himself captivated by the way Kangta spasms and clings to him, panting incoherently in a mixture of Mandarin and Korean. It's so sexy that Vanness has to do it again and again, his body craving more of Kangta's desperation. He wants Kangta to understand how much they both needed this.
"Chilhyun, I can't..." Vanness' voice is low and erotic, his lips moving against Kangta's shakily, "I can't hold back..." he chokes out, overwhelmed by the physical and emotional sensations he was being flooded with. Kangta just holds him closer, tighter, making everything vanish but the two of them and their connection.
"Jian Hao, come with me..." the Korean singer urges the other male, writhing when Vanness' fingers wrap around his arousal, coaxing him to find his own release. A few moments later it happens, the two of them calling out each other's names as they cling to one another, Kangta's climax spilling hot over his friend's fingers as he feels Vanness release deep inside of him. It's satisfying, and while his body feels languid his heart finally feels at peace.
"Chilhyun..." Vanness says weakly, collapsing atop the other singer. As they embrace he presses his lips to Kangta's, sweaty hair clinging to his skin. He tries to memorize the way Kangta's lips feel against his, afraid that they won't get to do this again. He knows, though, when Kangta gazes at him serenely, that it will. There are a million things Vanness is sure he can say right then; that he wants Kangta, needs him, loves him. But he doesn't say it - he doesn't feel he has to. There's only one thing on his mind.
"Please just come back to me."
Kangta smiles, recognizing the words from their song together as he gazes up at Vanness. It fit so well, didn't it?
"I love you." he answers naturally, finishing the lyric in English. He doesn't have to say it, but he wants to, and soon he finds himself lost in a kiss that takes his breath away. It's beautiful, really, the way the lyric fit so perfectly for them - but he feels he has to add his own part as their kiss breaks, faces flushed with pleasure and bodies still entangled.
"I promise." Kangta whispers before he kisses Vanness once more.
~Kaiamira