you might be a nurse if...
feel free to ignore or enjoy. i'm essentially putting this here just to have access to it later.
your friends call you for medical advice. ( lloyd , avatarj@mindspring.com )
discussing dismemberment over a gourmet meal seems perfectly normal to you (Mary)
you have the bladder capacity of five people
you have your weekends off planned for a year in advance
you believe that "ask-a-nurse" is an evil plot thought up by satan
you believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if the phrase, "wow, it is really quiet" is uttered
your diet consists of food that has gone through more processing than most computers.
you mutter, "great veins" when being introduced to a complete stranger
you have ever answered a "lost condom" phone call.
you believe chocolate is a food grouP.
you have ever restrained someone and it was not a sexual experience.
you think that caffeine should be available in IV form.
your most common assessment question is "what changed tonight to make it an emergency after 6 years?"
you have been exposed to so many x-rays that you consider radiation a form of birth control
you have ever had a patient look you straight in the eye and say, "I have no idea how that got stuck in there."
you have ever had a patient say, "but i'm not pregnant, i can't be pregnant, how can i be having a baby?"
you have ever had a patient control his seizures when offered some food.
your feet are flatter and tougher than Fred Flintstone's
your immune system is so well developed that it has been known to attack squirrels in the back yard.
you get an almost irresistible urge to stand and wolf your food even in the nicest restaurants
when checking the level of orientation of a patient, you aren't sure of the correct answers
you always try to schedule days off around the phases of the moon.
your alcoholically challenged patients know you by your first name, and can point to "their room."
the hems of your scrub pants are held in with 3-0 chromic or steristrips.
you refer to motorcyclists as "organ donors."
you are the only one at the dinner table NOT allowed to talk about your day at work.
your idea of fine dining is anywhere you can sit down to eat
you've ever had a patient with a nose-ring tell you "I'm afraid of shots."
you believe that the sight of a full moon can ruin a perfectly good day
you stare at someone in utter disbelief when they actually cover their mouth when coughing or sneezing.
your family members must have a fever of at least 105 or be missing a limb with active bleeding in order to receive your sympathy.
you've ever sworn you are going to have "NO CODE" tattooed on your chest.
you have been chipping away at your BSN for longer than most people take for a doctorate
your friends call you for medical advice. ( lloyd , avatarj@mindspring.com )
discussing dismemberment over a gourmet meal seems perfectly normal to you (Mary)
you have the bladder capacity of five people
you have your weekends off planned for a year in advance
you believe that "ask-a-nurse" is an evil plot thought up by satan
you believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if the phrase, "wow, it is really quiet" is uttered
your diet consists of food that has gone through more processing than most computers.
you mutter, "great veins" when being introduced to a complete stranger
you have ever answered a "lost condom" phone call.
you believe chocolate is a food grouP.
you have ever restrained someone and it was not a sexual experience.
you think that caffeine should be available in IV form.
your most common assessment question is "what changed tonight to make it an emergency after 6 years?"
you have been exposed to so many x-rays that you consider radiation a form of birth control
you have ever had a patient look you straight in the eye and say, "I have no idea how that got stuck in there."
you have ever had a patient say, "but i'm not pregnant, i can't be pregnant, how can i be having a baby?"
you have ever had a patient control his seizures when offered some food.
your feet are flatter and tougher than Fred Flintstone's
your immune system is so well developed that it has been known to attack squirrels in the back yard.
you get an almost irresistible urge to stand and wolf your food even in the nicest restaurants
when checking the level of orientation of a patient, you aren't sure of the correct answers
you always try to schedule days off around the phases of the moon.
your alcoholically challenged patients know you by your first name, and can point to "their room."
the hems of your scrub pants are held in with 3-0 chromic or steristrips.
you refer to motorcyclists as "organ donors."
you are the only one at the dinner table NOT allowed to talk about your day at work.
your idea of fine dining is anywhere you can sit down to eat
you've ever had a patient with a nose-ring tell you "I'm afraid of shots."
you believe that the sight of a full moon can ruin a perfectly good day
you stare at someone in utter disbelief when they actually cover their mouth when coughing or sneezing.
your family members must have a fever of at least 105 or be missing a limb with active bleeding in order to receive your sympathy.
you've ever sworn you are going to have "NO CODE" tattooed on your chest.
you have been chipping away at your BSN for longer than most people take for a doctorate