Girl's Day Out in Spokane Washington or Vampire's Requiem
It was a typical autumn day in this mid-sized city in which I live. Well, maybe a typical day as far as the weather is concerned; three seasons in one day. However, not a typical Saturday for me and Neat Old Stuff. Usually on Saturdays, I take a break from the upholstery workshop (where I make beautiful furniture that doesn't sell) and make myself available for retail sales. Some of my regular customers really like getting their dose of "CP Phare crack" and usually leave feeling more elated than when they entered. I've got to figure out a way to bottle this stuff and sell it.
This particular Saturday, my little 'burb was celebrating Girl's Day Out. It's purpose is to introduce consumers to the local commercial community and incite investment. You know the drill, free stuff, vote for me, hugging babies and party decorations.
Girls' Day Out this Saturday
For the second straight year Girls' Day Out will be in full force this Saturday. Literally across the city, shops of all kinds (70 overall) in our neighborhood business centers will be opening their doors for the ladies. Monroe, Hillyard, Perry, East Sprague and Garland are the places to be.
But wait, it's not just for the gals:
"Not only will ladies get special treats and treatment at the participating merchants and restaurants, but 3 of the 5 business districts are also offering a place for the guys to hangout, while their “girls” enjoy a day out."
Damn, I thought a girl's day out meant, A GIRL'S DAY OUT. Not, Girls Who Can't Be Alone Without Their Male Significant Others Few Minutes Out. Regardless of the semantics, any event here seems to bring out the
best and worst in my city, and conversely, the best and worst in me.
Some of you know, I'm a southern gal, without an accent, much to the consternation of the "free stuff" seeking hoards A total of 24- wait, those guys came from the hotel advertisement ----- Hmm. 6 came from the website -- 2 were driving by and saw the sign -- 2 were judges -- Well shucks, 8 people does not a horde make. Okay, so not a hoard. They were all quite adamant that "YOU"RE NOT FROM AROUND HERE."
THIS IS NOT WHO I SEE IN THE MIRROR BUT APPARENTLY......
This observation stems from my inability to blend. My retail store does not look like other stores in the area, since I glean ideas from stores in Harajuku, Japan. I'm a woman of color, but you can't pinpoint the group I belong to. I don't attend the Seattle merchandise mart and purchase the same stuff that other boutiques purchase. It is soooooo nice to go to 5 different boutiques and they all have the same merchandise. I don't intentionally sell merchandise that comes from inhumane factories. I don't even shop at area estate sales. (Okay, so the real reason I don't shop at estate sales is because some "mad cow" snatched an item from me and then proceeded to shove me when I took it back. I promptly had an attack of sheer lunacy and punched her in the face. OOOOOPS!)
Now, if you look at my website,
(which apparently a lot of people do according to google), merchandise
in the store, more used than new, is based on my personal style and
creativity. A little sweet and gothic lolita with some mori girl and
psycho circus thrown in.
Back to the days events. I just keep applying vaseline to my teeth for that easy smile. I endure the negative comments and hold back my astonishment at one particular customer's disappointment that 1.) I don't offer any "free stuff", and 2.) I don't offer a discount since she wants to purchase a $10 item with her CREDIT CARD. Snargh! I remember this girl......6 months ago, last time she was in my store, I had to babysit her four year old. Oftentimes, I play with some of the children to keep them from tearing up my store. This girl also had an infant that I THOUGHT she was holding, but "Brittney Spears" let him crawl around on my dirty concrete floors. And, as if this wasn't enough, the infant decided to eat a light bulb in a candelabra. When the child screamed ole' Brittney stated, "Oh it was just plastic!")
NOW, I need to mention that participating businesses of Girl's Day Out were also being judged on how pink we could decorate, both inside and out. The two judges appeared and introduced themselves. One, (hereinafter referred to as Thing 1) was very adept at thrusting printed material in my hand and giving me that dreadful "thumb and two fingers" handshake that women often deliver. At first, I sort of missed that she was a judge because she was yammering about a website and stabbing me with some brochure and telling me "it's free." The other judge (hereinafter not referred to after this sentence), a political figure that won't admit she's lost the recent election 4 days prior, I know personally. I hold back my contempt that Thing 1 can't muster a decent handshake and try to concentrate on whatever the hell she's saying. Again, with the "I didn't know you were here" after which ensues that dreadful lecture that all the retail marketing wizards that pop into my store deliver: "you're so far out of the loop" (25' cause I measured) and blah, blah, blah.
The next chapter in this conversational assault revolved around Thing 1 having lunch at a diner in a different business district she judged earlier and a customer had remarked about how incredible my store is. Another weak lobster claw handshake and endless dribble about how confused she was that some other person was talking about my business in a different part of town that SHE didn't know about. AND, by the way, "how come you don't have an accent?" This, followed by that weird handshake. Well, I had had enough, I grabbed Thing 1's hand and pumped it like a politician at a re-election rally. And then, I hauled off and slapped her hand with my other hand rubbing my "humaness" all over her hands!!!!!!
Sooooooo obviously, this was quite the special occasion. Almost like a "Two for the Price of One" at the local flea market and gun show. (Pick up truck with attached gun rack owners get in free.) Later I updated my Facebook page thanking everyone for coming out and looking at me (okay, staring at me) and my store with one of my southern digs that appears to be nice but is guillotine sharp. I was in a particularly foul mood after discovering that me and my business were conspicuously absent from all the Facebook hype about the day's events and all the wonderful shop owners that the organizers and judges had met. Damn, another club I don't belong to.
Again, the retail vampires have drained this host.
Some days I can't seem to remember the joy of a customers recent purchase. I believe I need to bid farewell to a brick and mortar retail store and continue with my upholstery, "one of a kind" furniture creations, and stay on my path of the virtual store. I tend to have really kind and considerate Etsy and internet customers.
I'm sorry my first post is so gritty, but it's just my feelings for the day. Thanks for reading about my guest appearances in my reality show!!