Oh Depression
So, I know that she can't read this so it doesn't really matter, except, I know that all my friends are going to kick me after they read this. I miss mal. Sorry guys. I don't really think it's a big deal. I just miss talking to her, and they little extra stuff on the side. I got an email from her yesterday about how paris is awesome but she misses me and how all these things keep reminding her of me and us and it just kills me that I can't just let it go as a nice comment about our past. I even thought about how i could go down to pitt at some point next semester. I hate my life. I wrote her back a huge email that took me almost an hour to finish. I think the main reason i miss her so much is because everyone is finding someone else, and the season, fall. Oh, i love this season more than any other. So many good memories totally outweighing the bad. Anyways. I thought about it alot today and decided that she's the only one who's ever been worth it all to me. I would have given it up just to be with her. I want so desperately to find someone that affects me like she did. Not necessarily in the same way. I'm not looking for the same girl. I don't really know what I'm looking for. The future love comes into play again. It's been quite some time since I started looking for you baby. Give me an email address or a phone number or some way to communicate with you and tell you that I've found you and i'll never let go. I'd rather just fool around and be patient but it's starting to take over me. Every song, every leaf that falls from the colourful trees, every swift wind against my face, every time I look up at the stars (like vincent did). I just want to close my eyes and fall into a dream. I love you.
Ryan
Ryan