(no subject)
I think...I'm depressed. Haven't ever really been depressed before, so I'm not sure. I was on such a roll with not one, but two manuscripts, but then this....thing has kept me going in cruise control and I dunno how to stop it.
My buddy Philip is coming to visit me from back home, so that should be fun. Maybe I'm just missing my friends. My mom and my sister are my friends, but my sister doesn't like to go out and do stuff, and I can only do so much with one friend, ya know? I miss my Christina a lot...my job isn't anywhere near as pleasant as it could be, and I think I'm gonna drag Philip with me on a wee job hunt, just see what's out there.
I haven't seen anyone in well over a year, and I think it's just starting to get to me, lol. I reveled in being by myself for quite a while, but I think I just miss nice, gentlemanly attention I s'pose.
Made a giant 54" teddy bear the other day, he's awesome, and I made another smaller teddy bear for my mom's coworker's foster baby. Blue flannel with multicolored geckos on it, he should like it.
I missed sewing, but I know that's not all I need to be a little more happy, but what that is I don't know yet. I miss my dad, a lot. I'm going down to see him for Thanksgiving, even if that means I have to quit my job, that's just how it is.
I don't think I can handle a 9-5 office job or the like...at least not for the rest of my life. When I think about my future, I think of maybe being like, a carpenter, woodworker, seamstress, writer, hell, even a cake decorator, but it's always something I can do at home, my own hours, being my own boss. I would still love to get into game design, but I feel like, at 21, I'm already so goddamn old, lol. People I went to high school with are graduating college, and I'm at least 3 years from that. I wish the adults in my life had planned for my future a bit better, it's hard to do college with no money, and no plan. I don't even know what the fuck I wanna major in...I don't want to have to get a job where I have to go to another fucking city or state to get a job. I'm weird, but I wanna stay close to home, I don't wanna be out on my own, I don't see a need for it.
I know I should just make some friends and feel better...but training someone now would be such a pain in the ass.
My buddy Philip is coming to visit me from back home, so that should be fun. Maybe I'm just missing my friends. My mom and my sister are my friends, but my sister doesn't like to go out and do stuff, and I can only do so much with one friend, ya know? I miss my Christina a lot...my job isn't anywhere near as pleasant as it could be, and I think I'm gonna drag Philip with me on a wee job hunt, just see what's out there.
I haven't seen anyone in well over a year, and I think it's just starting to get to me, lol. I reveled in being by myself for quite a while, but I think I just miss nice, gentlemanly attention I s'pose.
Made a giant 54" teddy bear the other day, he's awesome, and I made another smaller teddy bear for my mom's coworker's foster baby. Blue flannel with multicolored geckos on it, he should like it.
I missed sewing, but I know that's not all I need to be a little more happy, but what that is I don't know yet. I miss my dad, a lot. I'm going down to see him for Thanksgiving, even if that means I have to quit my job, that's just how it is.
I don't think I can handle a 9-5 office job or the like...at least not for the rest of my life. When I think about my future, I think of maybe being like, a carpenter, woodworker, seamstress, writer, hell, even a cake decorator, but it's always something I can do at home, my own hours, being my own boss. I would still love to get into game design, but I feel like, at 21, I'm already so goddamn old, lol. People I went to high school with are graduating college, and I'm at least 3 years from that. I wish the adults in my life had planned for my future a bit better, it's hard to do college with no money, and no plan. I don't even know what the fuck I wanna major in...I don't want to have to get a job where I have to go to another fucking city or state to get a job. I'm weird, but I wanna stay close to home, I don't wanna be out on my own, I don't see a need for it.
I know I should just make some friends and feel better...but training someone now would be such a pain in the ass.