Losing my religion
A friend from high school had brain surgery last week to remove a tumor. I've been following his recovery through his sister's Facebook postings. The level of Jesus freakery makes me really uncomfortable and reminds just how different I am than the people I grew up with in Oklahoma.
My lack of belief in God and complete rejection of the Baptist church when I was around 10 was the first thing that really defined how different I was from my friends. It was a few years later before I started realizing my sexuality also made me different.
I also quickly learned to hide my differences and to lie if necessary.
Despite my differences, I had a lot of friends growing up and still care a great deal about some of those people. I guess a lot of my insecurity is related to the deep fear of being discovered and rejected by people who are supposed to be my friends. Probably also explains my tendency to keep people at a distance and to cut off contact at the first sign of trouble.
Of course those were survival strategies developed by a child in response to a particular set of circumstances and not really good strategies for an independt adult to utilize.
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