(no subject)
The Merry Misadventures of Sir Ianholjer Dandau, Ch. 1, ID vs. EGO
The great knight, Sir Ianholjer Dandau (hereafter referred to as Sir ID), is commissioned by the king to slay the Evil Gargantuan Organism (i.e. EGO, classification system (c) 2005 by WZRD) known as Dragon. Upon approaching the entrance to Dragon's cave, Sir ID shouted:
"I am here to slay you Dragon!" To which Dragon, a.k.a the EGO, replied:
"And why would you do that?"
Sir ID: Because the king has told me to.
The EGO: I see. Did he give you a reason?
ID: Isn't your being inherently evil enough of a reason?
EGO: Well...no. Besides, maybe my being evil is part of a greater plan.
ID: how do you figure?
EGO: Well, take crop burning, for example. If I didn't destroy some of the crops, then your fields would be bereft of the necessary nutrients created by the ashes.
ID: But we can use manure for that too.
EGO: True, but cows produce methane, which, as everyone knows, is harmful to the ozone layer, whereas the carbon dioxide produced by my efforts stimulates the oxygen cycle by helping plant growth.
ID: So, if I kill you it will have a negative impact on the environment?
EGO: Correct. In addition, I also cull the weak and diseased livestock, thus preventing their poor genes and diseased flesh from affecting you. After all, who want's mad cow disease?
ID: You do have a point. Still, there is that little matter of being inherently evil.
EGO: Ah yes, that...well, like I said, I'm performing a natural function.
ID: You mean to tell me that eating virigins is natural?
EGO: Would you want a virgin?
ID: Well, for marriage, of course. It's only proper.
EGO: Now how is that fair? Are you saying that virgins are less desireable than non-virgins as sexual partners yet more desireable than non-virgins as life partners? That's an untenable position for women.
ID: But that's the king's rule. It's the way things are meant to be.
EGO: In which case, I'm doing the virgins a valuable service.
ID: Oh?
EGO: Saving them from pigs like you.
ID: I take offense to that.
EGO: How so?
ID: I'm the only legitimate virgin rescuer around here and I have the card to prove it. See?
EGO: (reading card) Sir Ianholdjer Dandau, Maidenhood Avenger. Hmm. I wasn't aware that you needed a license.
ID: But of course, it's the ki--
EGO: --ng's rule. Right. Well, that does leave us at a bit of a standstill.
ID: Not really. Since you've admitted to not having the proper license for virgin rescuing, I'll have to confiscate all of your virgins.
EGO: Good luck to you then. They're inside.
END of Chapter One. Next, Chapter Two. ID vs. SUPEREGO (still need to work that acronym out)
(So, whaddya think?)
-- J
The great knight, Sir Ianholjer Dandau (hereafter referred to as Sir ID), is commissioned by the king to slay the Evil Gargantuan Organism (i.e. EGO, classification system (c) 2005 by WZRD) known as Dragon. Upon approaching the entrance to Dragon's cave, Sir ID shouted:
"I am here to slay you Dragon!" To which Dragon, a.k.a the EGO, replied:
"And why would you do that?"
Sir ID: Because the king has told me to.
The EGO: I see. Did he give you a reason?
ID: Isn't your being inherently evil enough of a reason?
EGO: Well...no. Besides, maybe my being evil is part of a greater plan.
ID: how do you figure?
EGO: Well, take crop burning, for example. If I didn't destroy some of the crops, then your fields would be bereft of the necessary nutrients created by the ashes.
ID: But we can use manure for that too.
EGO: True, but cows produce methane, which, as everyone knows, is harmful to the ozone layer, whereas the carbon dioxide produced by my efforts stimulates the oxygen cycle by helping plant growth.
ID: So, if I kill you it will have a negative impact on the environment?
EGO: Correct. In addition, I also cull the weak and diseased livestock, thus preventing their poor genes and diseased flesh from affecting you. After all, who want's mad cow disease?
ID: You do have a point. Still, there is that little matter of being inherently evil.
EGO: Ah yes, that...well, like I said, I'm performing a natural function.
ID: You mean to tell me that eating virigins is natural?
EGO: Would you want a virgin?
ID: Well, for marriage, of course. It's only proper.
EGO: Now how is that fair? Are you saying that virgins are less desireable than non-virgins as sexual partners yet more desireable than non-virgins as life partners? That's an untenable position for women.
ID: But that's the king's rule. It's the way things are meant to be.
EGO: In which case, I'm doing the virgins a valuable service.
ID: Oh?
EGO: Saving them from pigs like you.
ID: I take offense to that.
EGO: How so?
ID: I'm the only legitimate virgin rescuer around here and I have the card to prove it. See?
EGO: (reading card) Sir Ianholdjer Dandau, Maidenhood Avenger. Hmm. I wasn't aware that you needed a license.
ID: But of course, it's the ki--
EGO: --ng's rule. Right. Well, that does leave us at a bit of a standstill.
ID: Not really. Since you've admitted to not having the proper license for virgin rescuing, I'll have to confiscate all of your virgins.
EGO: Good luck to you then. They're inside.
END of Chapter One. Next, Chapter Two. ID vs. SUPEREGO (still need to work that acronym out)
(So, whaddya think?)
-- J