journeying
I'd like to think I'm on a new journey, but the fact is that it is the journey I have always been on. Twisting, changing, going down one side of the forked road, and leading me out to the beauty of my subconscious.
I always thought that social media was just a platform for vanity. Being a vain person at times throughout my life I understood it's purpose as a tool to gain confidence and approval from others about one's life and appearance. To put on a mask and wear it with pride, showcasing how much more you have it "figured out" than your peers. Drifting away from vanity I then scorned social media. It had become a daily diary of political scandal and high school drama games with social justice warriors atop their high horses.
I've discovered recently that social media can mean a lot more. There are people out there who are inspiring, sharing a positive message of self love, and are a guiding beacon of light to others in a time where it feels like the whole world is going mad. These people are my people. Their stories remind me of the truly authentic parts of my life and how to live up to my full potential as a person and human being. Their spiritual journey and their openness to share their darkest moments and most inspiring messages are what set them apart from others. Being "real" and open and vulnerable is awe-worthy to someone as closed as myself in this world full of facade.
The reason all of this matters is because I am on my own journey. And I need to step it up. I need to grow. 2018 has been the hardest year for me in a long time. I had a great streak of spiritual, financial and emotional growth for a few years, and then it just stopped. I fell hard down the black hole of depression again and it is because there is more work for me to do. Right now I am stepping up and owning it, saying that I am willing to endure the discomfort of the emotions that will surface in order to heal old wounds. I am responsible for the state of my life and I will make it everything it can be.
I need to focus more on positive affirmations, using meditation, yoga, visualization, reading, healing myself through diet, music and doing and being more of what I love. I want to radiate sunshine to those around me. I'm going to try some gratitude posts to gain direction on what does really make my soul sing.
What I am grateful for today:
First of, my ability to write my thoughts into coherent sentences. I can't tell a story to save my life, but when written on paper or through a keyboard I feel at home. Writing is a great tool to uncover your innermost thoughts for yourself and is also great for being introspective in the future to measure the growth you have experienced. It is a digital snapshot of your mind in the moment of it's creation.
Of course I am extremely grateful for cats. They have been such a huge part of my life since I was a child and I think it is because I can really connect with them. They are little empathetic beings with sass and personality just like myself.
I am grateful for good, nourishing, delicious food and my ability to once again enjoy it as part of my life. For such a long time I looked at food as an enemy and I'm so glad that my viewpoint has changed.
I am forever grateful for my amazing body. This is a strained relationship in need of more healing but admitting that fact is once of the first steps towards self love. Because of the things that have happened in my life I have such a fear of my body. Fear of it dtysfunctioning, of making me "weird" or "different" or "sick." I don't want to identify with these things, but feel my body will betray me and wants me to be an outsider. What a weird concept!
I am grateful that I am learning how to distance myself from toxic people and toxic emotions. This has been something I have struggled with and I am learning how to say no, and how to not engage in this behaviour. I have a need to "stand up for myself" but many times would be better served keeping my mouth closed and walking away.
I am grateful that I am taking my own self care seriously. I'm really beginning to learn what actually makes me happy and how to incorporate more of that into my life story.
I am forever grateful to yoga for helping me tune into my body more than I ever have. I am terrible at yoga but improving every day I do it. It gives me a huge sense of calm and reminds me what it means to be connected to something greater spiritually.
That's all for now, more to come. <3
I always thought that social media was just a platform for vanity. Being a vain person at times throughout my life I understood it's purpose as a tool to gain confidence and approval from others about one's life and appearance. To put on a mask and wear it with pride, showcasing how much more you have it "figured out" than your peers. Drifting away from vanity I then scorned social media. It had become a daily diary of political scandal and high school drama games with social justice warriors atop their high horses.
I've discovered recently that social media can mean a lot more. There are people out there who are inspiring, sharing a positive message of self love, and are a guiding beacon of light to others in a time where it feels like the whole world is going mad. These people are my people. Their stories remind me of the truly authentic parts of my life and how to live up to my full potential as a person and human being. Their spiritual journey and their openness to share their darkest moments and most inspiring messages are what set them apart from others. Being "real" and open and vulnerable is awe-worthy to someone as closed as myself in this world full of facade.
The reason all of this matters is because I am on my own journey. And I need to step it up. I need to grow. 2018 has been the hardest year for me in a long time. I had a great streak of spiritual, financial and emotional growth for a few years, and then it just stopped. I fell hard down the black hole of depression again and it is because there is more work for me to do. Right now I am stepping up and owning it, saying that I am willing to endure the discomfort of the emotions that will surface in order to heal old wounds. I am responsible for the state of my life and I will make it everything it can be.
I need to focus more on positive affirmations, using meditation, yoga, visualization, reading, healing myself through diet, music and doing and being more of what I love. I want to radiate sunshine to those around me. I'm going to try some gratitude posts to gain direction on what does really make my soul sing.
What I am grateful for today:
First of, my ability to write my thoughts into coherent sentences. I can't tell a story to save my life, but when written on paper or through a keyboard I feel at home. Writing is a great tool to uncover your innermost thoughts for yourself and is also great for being introspective in the future to measure the growth you have experienced. It is a digital snapshot of your mind in the moment of it's creation.
Of course I am extremely grateful for cats. They have been such a huge part of my life since I was a child and I think it is because I can really connect with them. They are little empathetic beings with sass and personality just like myself.
I am grateful for good, nourishing, delicious food and my ability to once again enjoy it as part of my life. For such a long time I looked at food as an enemy and I'm so glad that my viewpoint has changed.
I am forever grateful for my amazing body. This is a strained relationship in need of more healing but admitting that fact is once of the first steps towards self love. Because of the things that have happened in my life I have such a fear of my body. Fear of it dtysfunctioning, of making me "weird" or "different" or "sick." I don't want to identify with these things, but feel my body will betray me and wants me to be an outsider. What a weird concept!
I am grateful that I am learning how to distance myself from toxic people and toxic emotions. This has been something I have struggled with and I am learning how to say no, and how to not engage in this behaviour. I have a need to "stand up for myself" but many times would be better served keeping my mouth closed and walking away.
I am grateful that I am taking my own self care seriously. I'm really beginning to learn what actually makes me happy and how to incorporate more of that into my life story.
I am forever grateful to yoga for helping me tune into my body more than I ever have. I am terrible at yoga but improving every day I do it. It gives me a huge sense of calm and reminds me what it means to be connected to something greater spiritually.
That's all for now, more to come. <3