intro post of dooooooom!
since this is the single largest change/update/what-have-you I've ever made to my rather small, cozy f-list, I figured it was probably time to introduce myself, hey!
[short version]
name: fuujin
d.o.b: 1981.10.30
living in: seoul
interests (in no particular order): writing, reading, pretty boys who can't keep their hands off each other, cooking, art, languages, music, roleplaying
understands varying degrees of: 日本語, Deutsch, Español, Français (and I can read/write 한글, but don't really understand the language)
AIM: coyotecolored
-probably will-
read everything you post
comment if I have something to say
join in (or start) the occasional fangirlish spazz
be concerned about your problems even if I don't know what to say
spam too much when feeling giddy
-probably won't-
participate in (non-writing) quizzes/memes (with rare exceptions if I'm feeling inspired)
comment just to be seen/heard/noticed
get caught up in too much el-jay dramarz
suddenly turn rightwing or like the direction in which the USA has been going
[long version]
who am I?
my life~
my twin brother and I were born prematurely by c-section on the night before Halloween. my mother was 35 before she chose to have children, and spoke to me from the earliest I can remember as if I were a capable, reasoning adult, so that's how I behaved, for the most part. my brother died when we were a few months old, of SIDS. I suppose I've always wondered 'what if'... what if he'd lived, what if we'd grown up together, what if I'd had someone that close to me, consistently, all my life.
my parents split up when I was 3. I have vague memories of them arguing and the house that we lived in, but little else. my father remarried almost immediately, to a woman with two children of her own (my older stepsister and younger stepbrother), and my mother did a couple years later, to a deadbeat with PTSD and emotional vacuum issues. I hate my stepdad, and if you see me referring to 'fatass', I'm talking about him. it's taken her 20 years to do it, but she's finally in the process of getting a divorce. it's about damn time.
I lived with my mother after my parents split, although I visited my dad every summer and most holiday breaks until I went away to college. at my mother's house, I was an only child, excruciatingly mature for my age, treated fairly by my mother, and treated like some combination of household servant and mentally deficient 3 year old by my stepfather. at my dad's house, I was a middle child (with my stepsiblings and, later, my halfsister), found myself frequently drowned out in all the noise and activity, and was allowed to behave like a child, for once in my life, although I rarely knew what to do with the opportunity when I had it. I was often left playing mediator between two (or more) sides, or trying to rationalize with a sibling who was more interested in shrieking or pulling hair than talking about it. despite all of this, my stepbrother became one of the closest friends I ever had. despite that, we haven't spoken to or seen each other in about 8 years.
due to living with my mother and stepfather, I moved something like 10 times between the ages of five and seventeen. this is, of course, not counting the "moves" to my dad's house every summer, my move to university, or the five moves I've made since graduating. you might say I have some trouble establishing 'roots'.
I went to a one-room K-8 private religious school when I was 6, and started first grade, since I was already reading. by the time I was in 4th grade, I was reading at a high school level or better, but could scarcely add and subtract. my mother pulled me out of that school and put me in the public school system for 5th grade, where I struggled through remedial math with the handicapped kids in the class until I could limp along at an average level somehow, and spent a lot of time talking to the school counselor. this continued, more or less along the same lines, until (after another move) my new school for 7th grade stuck me in the "bonehead" math class, which finally began to explain things in a way that clicked, for me. I tested out of the algebra class, in high school, scored straight A's through everything they did offer, and tested out of the math requirement in college completely, much to my relief. I was a National Merit scholar, and won a four year full scholarship to college, which is probably the only reason I could afford to attend. I still use my fingers to add, and a calculator for everything else.
I got involved with a boy I met online, my junior year of high school, and we 'dated' throughout the rest of high school and college. as I was uncomfortable with boys in real life, barely knowing any on more than an acquaintance level, if that, he made an excellent excuse not to pursue the social sharkfeed I perceived 'dating' to be. he moved down to Texas with me, after I graduated, where we lived together for 2 or 3 years, until I realized I was falling into the same sort of relationship my mother was guilty of. he resented me for a lot of things; my education, my job, my opportunities, my creativity, my artistic tendencies, and even my height, and I spent a lot of time subconsciously trying to make all those things up to him. I finally kicked him out, and I haven't regretted it once since then.
I've played music in one form or another since I was very young--the alto saxophone throughout my elementary, middle, high-school and university years, with brief forays into tenor, bari, and soprano for various special projects or solos, handbell choir in junior high and high school, brief piano and violin lessons as a child, and (most recently) acoustic guitar study on my own. after I learn to play it well, I want to buy an electric guitar, preferably a Talbo. I would also love the chance to learn the drums. since I don't really know anyone locally, I don't know if I'll ever play in a band, but who knows what the future might bring.
I'm a university graduate with a degree in liberal arts (comparative cultures major). I worked in an online bookstore for about 5 years after college, which my mom started when I was in high school, and I basically ran all of the day-to-day operations, by late 2007/early 2008. my housemate was my mother, and it worked out well for us until the stress levels (over financial matters and things constantly going wrong) just got too high. in Feb or March of 2008, I finally made the decision to change direction and do something I wanted to do, for myself. I quit working at the bookstore, because I didn't enjoy it and it wasn't my dream--instead, I picked up a job at a local hotel, cleaning, to save up enough money to go to Korea and get an ESL teaching job. it was probably the best decision I'd made in years.
trials and tribulations, delays, and my mom's problems aside, I finally reached Korea in July and began working as a teacher in Seoul. I always disliked children, in the past, but so far, I'm actually enjoying the challenges of it. the kids aren't half bad either!
my persona~
I'm a Scorpio, right down to the stinger. don't buy into that astrology stuff? well, I've found it eerily accurate in a lot of cases, but suit yourself!
almost everyone I've ever known casually in real life, through school or what-have-you, describes me as quiet, mysterious, hard-to-approach, and deep. in unfamiliar social circles, I can be very shy/reserved. I don't really speak up until I've heard enough to formulate an opinion on something, or to raise a question I haven't heard anyone ask. put me in an environment I'm comfortable in, though, and I can be quite noisy. I may even come on a bit strong, if you catch me at the wrong moment, or in the middle of a rant. ;]
I don't let people close to me easily; may even hold them at arms' length, and the aforementioned rootlessness probably plays a factor here. I can, however, be intensely protective/possessive of 'my people', when I do get attached. injustice and unwarranted attacks on them (or anyone who doesn't deserve it, really) gets my hackles up faster than virtually anything someone could attack me with. when it comes to people I like quarreling amongst themselves or doing something dumb that's got everyone else in the world justifiably upset at them, though, don't hold your breath waiting for me to jump into the fray.
I'm very laid-back, most of the time, and it's difficult to get me truly worked up about something. I've learned to express anger, over the years, and generally after a brief spat of ranting or sarcasm, I feel much better and don't hold onto it, which is much healthier all around. laughter is an excellent tool for dealing with ridiculous people and situations, too. if something's really hit me where it hurts, though, I can hold a vindictive grudge for years.
I love a good debate, but I may drive you crazy with my tendency to play devil's advocate. even if I agree with you on some level, I may play the other side just to pick through your arguments and find out where you're coming from, or exactly what it is you think. a debate/argument can get fired up without getting me angry at the person I'm debating with, as long as there's still an exchange going on, and they're willing to explain their reasoning and where they're coming from, and are willing to listen to my rationale as well. people who try to pass off bull-headed closemindedness as being "opinionated", or think being loudest makes them right just get under my skin. an opinion is only worth as much as the thought and experiences that have gone into it, and everyone's are going to be a little different.
I'd take a picture of my bookshelves, because that might tell you more about me than anything I could say here, but I'm too lazy to sort out my crappy digicam and install the software, right now. let's just say there's loads of books on metaphysics/psychic phenomena/magic, language textbooks/dictionaries for nine different languages, a fat stack of manga and sci-fi/fantasy paperbacks, an odd collection of feminism/women's studies texts, psychology, religion/culture/history books on everything from the Mayans to China, a set of the annotated Sherlock Holmes, and how-to books on everything from rock guitar to Japanese calligraphy/brush painting. (sadly, my books had to be packed up and left behind when I came to Korea, but I did bring my guitar book and Japanese kanji dictionary, so that I could keep up with both hobbies while living here)
I consider myself a spiritual person, but I also consider organized religion to be the worst thing to ever happen to religion in general. I was raised in a conservative Protestant denomination (SDA), have dabbled in a lot of different religions and philosophies since then, and am happier existing without a label at all. I suppose you can sum it up with the philosophy that there are many paths to get where you're going, and it doesn't particularly matter if you ride a horse or a bike or a skateboard or walk on your own two feet to get there, so long as the journey means something to you, and you learn something on the way.
back in the States, I had like a billion cats (well, 5 in the house, actually), a fish, and two horses. I've had assorted animals for as long as I can remember, growing up, and used to want to be a vet. I've dealt with a lot of sick/injured animals, especially, over the years... some of them survived and healed, others died in front of me or in my lap because there was nothing that could be done, but as much as I think "oh, I have Too Many Cats, and cannot possibly take care of another one", I literally cannot turn my back on a kitten's cries without doing everything I can to help it. I'm not so much a dog fan, but watching Ddabong and finding out he died in Animal Farm made me cry. --; I bond much easier with animals than with people, I think. you'd never see me pick up a child or come within spitting distance of a baby, if I can help it, but I've thought nothing of packing an abandoned runt kitten around in a sling next to my skin all day to warm it up and comfort it, between feedings. that misshapen lump in my shirt is not a tumor, really, it's just one of my furry babies. >>;
and finally, I'd like to think I give everyone a chance. it's easy to start out with a negative perception of someone, because of hearsay or whatever, but in 99% of cases, I don't care what I've heard about someone, I'll meet them for myself before I decide what I think of them. this has, in the past, burned me pretty badly, but I still think I'd miss out on meeting a lot of neat people if I worried about what some other person thought of so-and-so, or ruled out getting to know so-and-so because of what someone else said. this ain't high school, and I really don't care who said what in the lunchroom yesterday, you know?
my fandoms and hobbies~
GLAY: I first 'discovered' them in 2003 (while looking for a pb for an original character in a roleplaying game--more on that subject later, though), and can honestly say that they woke me up to a love for a particular band/group/style of music, for the first time in my life. I have never, before or since, come across another band whose music I have found to be of such a reliably high quality, with such a widely experimental range, which I consistently like. I love all of the members, but Hisashi is my particular favorite... his blue hair, from back in the day, is what first drew my eye out of a sea of EGL-styled musicians' photos.
Super Junior: oh my god, the crack. 13 Korean boys who don't know the meaning of 'personal bubble' and talk about each other's nipples on national TV. they are my darling little brothers, except I like to think about them humping each other, and that's kind of incestuous, so let's not go there. the hair! my insane attachment to Heechul! all the boy-on-boy action you can shake a stick at!
other bands I appreciate: TRAX (rocker-love! also, Jay's voice is godly! better off without Rose, thnx!), RENTRER EN SOI (Satsuki's voice is absolutely ethereal at times), DBSK (honestly, I'm not a huge fan of their music, but every so often they put out something I really like, and they're also just fun to follow as people), Epik High (I actually listen to RAP, for them), Cherry Boom (loved their first album, not so excited about their second), Nell (wonderful for mellow-out music), Metallica (omg a band that isn't asian!)... and the list goes on.
roleplaying/fanfiction: these are flip-sides of the same coin, for me, even though my writing style is often very different when roleplaying than when writing fanfic. I roleplay a LOT, have ever since I was in high school... I've been known to spend something like 12-18 hours sitting at the keyboard rping a particular scene with someone, when time allows and conditions are right. usually it's a little more broken up than that, though. xD if you see me talking about muses, headspace, "my boys", "my kids"... I'm talking about rping, I don't actually have any misbehaving children lurking around! if reading about this sort of thing really bothers you, let me know, and I'd be happy to set up a filter and keep my rp-related rants & discussions exclusive to it, for the most part. it's just not something I've done prior to this point, since most of the people on my f-list, I've met/befriended through rp connections. I prefer to play in communities rather than out of them, and I prefer muse-driven games over SL (storyline) driven ones--if I want to write a fic, I'll go write a fic, but I consider my muses to be perfectly capable of making their own decisions and directing themselves, and I won't play for the sake of drama or angst; I'd just as soon my boys were happy, because it can affect me a lot when they're not. right now, my muses who are active to various extents are rella (Heechul), Han (Hangeng), Yeh (Yesung), Mi (Zhou Mi), Min (Changmin), and hisa (Hisashi), and the shorthand version is usually how I refer to them (or 'freakshow', in the case of Yeh, because... well, he is). also, if I'm babbling about something being channelly, it's generally because the real of one of them has done something muse & I find highly ironic/applicable, and we're flailing about it. don't mind our tendency to speak in the plural, when the boys are up and awake/involved in the matter. I try not to inflict rp-spazz on people who have no interest in it, so don't worry about me bringing it into random conversations, either.
cooking: I've catered, professionally, and it's something I rather enjoy doing. sometimes I might chatter a little about cooking, or post a recipe of something I'm proud of. considering I went all the way through college convinced I was helpless in a kitchen and could burn water, if left to my own devices, I'm a firm believer that everyone can learn to cook and enjoy cooking. good food is a passion, to me. I'm not a twig, but I'm nowhere near fat--I'm healthy, and I probably won't have a lot to say in response to dieting woes, other than EAT HEALTHY, don't quit eating.
sewing & cosplay: I've cosplayed, once, the one time I went to an anime convention. I crossplayed Squall Leonhart from FFVIII, made the costume myself, had a great time, and would love to do it again, someday. I've made a furisode kimono from scratch, with no pattern or idea what I was doing, basically just piecing it together step by step from descriptions and pictures. I think it turned out pretty nicely, although my kitsuke (the 'everything else' that is worn with a kimono) needs a lot of work. someday, I want to make a lot of my own clothes--I prefer odd/unusual/striking things to wear, given half a choice in the matter, and frankly it'd be easier to make them myself than find just the right shirt in a shop.
past fandoms: X-Men (as in Marvel Comics). I am a veritable repository of useless trivia and random knowledge regarding characters you have probably never heard of, unless you happen to be a (former) fan yourself. I still have a soft spot for the entire mythos, and really did like the first two movies, but the third one was such a let-down after everything that Singer set up for was abandoned by the new director. :[ I wanted to be a comic book artist, for a long time. I still have a bunch of 'comics' that I drew. 8D then, Sailormoon (as in AI TO SEIGI NO SEERAAFUKU BISHOUJO SENSHI SEERAAMUUN! TSUKINI KAWATTE, OSHIOKIYO!, you know). I ran a fansite devoted to the villains of the series (http://www.moonlessnight.net), both manga and anime versions, which is long since defunct, but was a lot of fun back when I had the energy and drive to throw into it. and yes, I much preferred the villains to the good guys, and the shitennou were my favorites of all. Zoisite, Nephrite, Kunzite, and Jadeite ftw! I did loads of fanart and fanfics, when I was in this stage. I never did finish my 'epic' fanfic, though. u_u
-if you are here looking for-
a new acquaintance: comment! talk to me. hit me up on AIM, even, if you really want to. if you don't comment, I may not even know you're lurking (and if we've never talked and I haven't the faintest idea who you are, I may not add you back to find out). I don't bite, I promise.
my writing: go to coyotescribbles. if you add this journal only because you like my writing or want to see more, I'm afraid you'll probably be disappointed ^^; it's pretty rare that I so much as drabble, over here, and anything that's finished will be popping up over there at some point, anyway.
my SuJu video uploads (currently at something like 70 performances and odds and ends of clips): go here.
my GLAY discography uploads: go to part 1 for the albums or part 2 for the compilation albums, collaborative works, and other odds and ends. also, know that ilu for being a GLAY fan, prospective or otherwise, and I cannot recommend them enough. ♥
my Heechul-centric SuJu picspams (something like 1181 pictures, currently): go here for links that are labeled clearly, or just knock yourselves out hunting here, here, here, here, here, here, here, and here.
trouble: trash goes in the trash bin :D
...and don't worry, I don't make these huge mammoth posts too often! ♥
[short version]
name: fuujin
d.o.b: 1981.10.30
living in: seoul
interests (in no particular order): writing, reading, pretty boys who can't keep their hands off each other, cooking, art, languages, music, roleplaying
understands varying degrees of: 日本語, Deutsch, Español, Français (and I can read/write 한글, but don't really understand the language)
AIM: coyotecolored
-probably will-
read everything you post
comment if I have something to say
join in (or start) the occasional fangirlish spazz
be concerned about your problems even if I don't know what to say
spam too much when feeling giddy
-probably won't-
participate in (non-writing) quizzes/memes (with rare exceptions if I'm feeling inspired)
comment just to be seen/heard/noticed
get caught up in too much el-jay dramarz
suddenly turn rightwing or like the direction in which the USA has been going
[long version]
who am I?
my life~
my twin brother and I were born prematurely by c-section on the night before Halloween. my mother was 35 before she chose to have children, and spoke to me from the earliest I can remember as if I were a capable, reasoning adult, so that's how I behaved, for the most part. my brother died when we were a few months old, of SIDS. I suppose I've always wondered 'what if'... what if he'd lived, what if we'd grown up together, what if I'd had someone that close to me, consistently, all my life.
my parents split up when I was 3. I have vague memories of them arguing and the house that we lived in, but little else. my father remarried almost immediately, to a woman with two children of her own (my older stepsister and younger stepbrother), and my mother did a couple years later, to a deadbeat with PTSD and emotional vacuum issues. I hate my stepdad, and if you see me referring to 'fatass', I'm talking about him. it's taken her 20 years to do it, but she's finally in the process of getting a divorce. it's about damn time.
I lived with my mother after my parents split, although I visited my dad every summer and most holiday breaks until I went away to college. at my mother's house, I was an only child, excruciatingly mature for my age, treated fairly by my mother, and treated like some combination of household servant and mentally deficient 3 year old by my stepfather. at my dad's house, I was a middle child (with my stepsiblings and, later, my halfsister), found myself frequently drowned out in all the noise and activity, and was allowed to behave like a child, for once in my life, although I rarely knew what to do with the opportunity when I had it. I was often left playing mediator between two (or more) sides, or trying to rationalize with a sibling who was more interested in shrieking or pulling hair than talking about it. despite all of this, my stepbrother became one of the closest friends I ever had. despite that, we haven't spoken to or seen each other in about 8 years.
due to living with my mother and stepfather, I moved something like 10 times between the ages of five and seventeen. this is, of course, not counting the "moves" to my dad's house every summer, my move to university, or the five moves I've made since graduating. you might say I have some trouble establishing 'roots'.
I went to a one-room K-8 private religious school when I was 6, and started first grade, since I was already reading. by the time I was in 4th grade, I was reading at a high school level or better, but could scarcely add and subtract. my mother pulled me out of that school and put me in the public school system for 5th grade, where I struggled through remedial math with the handicapped kids in the class until I could limp along at an average level somehow, and spent a lot of time talking to the school counselor. this continued, more or less along the same lines, until (after another move) my new school for 7th grade stuck me in the "bonehead" math class, which finally began to explain things in a way that clicked, for me. I tested out of the algebra class, in high school, scored straight A's through everything they did offer, and tested out of the math requirement in college completely, much to my relief. I was a National Merit scholar, and won a four year full scholarship to college, which is probably the only reason I could afford to attend. I still use my fingers to add, and a calculator for everything else.
I got involved with a boy I met online, my junior year of high school, and we 'dated' throughout the rest of high school and college. as I was uncomfortable with boys in real life, barely knowing any on more than an acquaintance level, if that, he made an excellent excuse not to pursue the social sharkfeed I perceived 'dating' to be. he moved down to Texas with me, after I graduated, where we lived together for 2 or 3 years, until I realized I was falling into the same sort of relationship my mother was guilty of. he resented me for a lot of things; my education, my job, my opportunities, my creativity, my artistic tendencies, and even my height, and I spent a lot of time subconsciously trying to make all those things up to him. I finally kicked him out, and I haven't regretted it once since then.
I've played music in one form or another since I was very young--the alto saxophone throughout my elementary, middle, high-school and university years, with brief forays into tenor, bari, and soprano for various special projects or solos, handbell choir in junior high and high school, brief piano and violin lessons as a child, and (most recently) acoustic guitar study on my own. after I learn to play it well, I want to buy an electric guitar, preferably a Talbo. I would also love the chance to learn the drums. since I don't really know anyone locally, I don't know if I'll ever play in a band, but who knows what the future might bring.
I'm a university graduate with a degree in liberal arts (comparative cultures major). I worked in an online bookstore for about 5 years after college, which my mom started when I was in high school, and I basically ran all of the day-to-day operations, by late 2007/early 2008. my housemate was my mother, and it worked out well for us until the stress levels (over financial matters and things constantly going wrong) just got too high. in Feb or March of 2008, I finally made the decision to change direction and do something I wanted to do, for myself. I quit working at the bookstore, because I didn't enjoy it and it wasn't my dream--instead, I picked up a job at a local hotel, cleaning, to save up enough money to go to Korea and get an ESL teaching job. it was probably the best decision I'd made in years.
trials and tribulations, delays, and my mom's problems aside, I finally reached Korea in July and began working as a teacher in Seoul. I always disliked children, in the past, but so far, I'm actually enjoying the challenges of it. the kids aren't half bad either!
my persona~
I'm a Scorpio, right down to the stinger. don't buy into that astrology stuff? well, I've found it eerily accurate in a lot of cases, but suit yourself!
almost everyone I've ever known casually in real life, through school or what-have-you, describes me as quiet, mysterious, hard-to-approach, and deep. in unfamiliar social circles, I can be very shy/reserved. I don't really speak up until I've heard enough to formulate an opinion on something, or to raise a question I haven't heard anyone ask. put me in an environment I'm comfortable in, though, and I can be quite noisy. I may even come on a bit strong, if you catch me at the wrong moment, or in the middle of a rant. ;]
I don't let people close to me easily; may even hold them at arms' length, and the aforementioned rootlessness probably plays a factor here. I can, however, be intensely protective/possessive of 'my people', when I do get attached. injustice and unwarranted attacks on them (or anyone who doesn't deserve it, really) gets my hackles up faster than virtually anything someone could attack me with. when it comes to people I like quarreling amongst themselves or doing something dumb that's got everyone else in the world justifiably upset at them, though, don't hold your breath waiting for me to jump into the fray.
I'm very laid-back, most of the time, and it's difficult to get me truly worked up about something. I've learned to express anger, over the years, and generally after a brief spat of ranting or sarcasm, I feel much better and don't hold onto it, which is much healthier all around. laughter is an excellent tool for dealing with ridiculous people and situations, too. if something's really hit me where it hurts, though, I can hold a vindictive grudge for years.
I love a good debate, but I may drive you crazy with my tendency to play devil's advocate. even if I agree with you on some level, I may play the other side just to pick through your arguments and find out where you're coming from, or exactly what it is you think. a debate/argument can get fired up without getting me angry at the person I'm debating with, as long as there's still an exchange going on, and they're willing to explain their reasoning and where they're coming from, and are willing to listen to my rationale as well. people who try to pass off bull-headed closemindedness as being "opinionated", or think being loudest makes them right just get under my skin. an opinion is only worth as much as the thought and experiences that have gone into it, and everyone's are going to be a little different.
I'd take a picture of my bookshelves, because that might tell you more about me than anything I could say here, but I'm too lazy to sort out my crappy digicam and install the software, right now. let's just say there's loads of books on metaphysics/psychic phenomena/magic, language textbooks/dictionaries for nine different languages, a fat stack of manga and sci-fi/fantasy paperbacks, an odd collection of feminism/women's studies texts, psychology, religion/culture/history books on everything from the Mayans to China, a set of the annotated Sherlock Holmes, and how-to books on everything from rock guitar to Japanese calligraphy/brush painting. (sadly, my books had to be packed up and left behind when I came to Korea, but I did bring my guitar book and Japanese kanji dictionary, so that I could keep up with both hobbies while living here)
I consider myself a spiritual person, but I also consider organized religion to be the worst thing to ever happen to religion in general. I was raised in a conservative Protestant denomination (SDA), have dabbled in a lot of different religions and philosophies since then, and am happier existing without a label at all. I suppose you can sum it up with the philosophy that there are many paths to get where you're going, and it doesn't particularly matter if you ride a horse or a bike or a skateboard or walk on your own two feet to get there, so long as the journey means something to you, and you learn something on the way.
back in the States, I had like a billion cats (well, 5 in the house, actually), a fish, and two horses. I've had assorted animals for as long as I can remember, growing up, and used to want to be a vet. I've dealt with a lot of sick/injured animals, especially, over the years... some of them survived and healed, others died in front of me or in my lap because there was nothing that could be done, but as much as I think "oh, I have Too Many Cats, and cannot possibly take care of another one", I literally cannot turn my back on a kitten's cries without doing everything I can to help it. I'm not so much a dog fan, but watching Ddabong and finding out he died in Animal Farm made me cry. --; I bond much easier with animals than with people, I think. you'd never see me pick up a child or come within spitting distance of a baby, if I can help it, but I've thought nothing of packing an abandoned runt kitten around in a sling next to my skin all day to warm it up and comfort it, between feedings. that misshapen lump in my shirt is not a tumor, really, it's just one of my furry babies. >>;
and finally, I'd like to think I give everyone a chance. it's easy to start out with a negative perception of someone, because of hearsay or whatever, but in 99% of cases, I don't care what I've heard about someone, I'll meet them for myself before I decide what I think of them. this has, in the past, burned me pretty badly, but I still think I'd miss out on meeting a lot of neat people if I worried about what some other person thought of so-and-so, or ruled out getting to know so-and-so because of what someone else said. this ain't high school, and I really don't care who said what in the lunchroom yesterday, you know?
my fandoms and hobbies~
GLAY: I first 'discovered' them in 2003 (while looking for a pb for an original character in a roleplaying game--more on that subject later, though), and can honestly say that they woke me up to a love for a particular band/group/style of music, for the first time in my life. I have never, before or since, come across another band whose music I have found to be of such a reliably high quality, with such a widely experimental range, which I consistently like. I love all of the members, but Hisashi is my particular favorite... his blue hair, from back in the day, is what first drew my eye out of a sea of EGL-styled musicians' photos.
Super Junior: oh my god, the crack. 13 Korean boys who don't know the meaning of 'personal bubble' and talk about each other's nipples on national TV. they are my darling little brothers, except I like to think about them humping each other, and that's kind of incestuous, so let's not go there. the hair! my insane attachment to Heechul! all the boy-on-boy action you can shake a stick at!
other bands I appreciate: TRAX (rocker-love! also, Jay's voice is godly! better off without Rose, thnx!), RENTRER EN SOI (Satsuki's voice is absolutely ethereal at times), DBSK (honestly, I'm not a huge fan of their music, but every so often they put out something I really like, and they're also just fun to follow as people), Epik High (I actually listen to RAP, for them), Cherry Boom (loved their first album, not so excited about their second), Nell (wonderful for mellow-out music), Metallica (omg a band that isn't asian!)... and the list goes on.
roleplaying/fanfiction: these are flip-sides of the same coin, for me, even though my writing style is often very different when roleplaying than when writing fanfic. I roleplay a LOT, have ever since I was in high school... I've been known to spend something like 12-18 hours sitting at the keyboard rping a particular scene with someone, when time allows and conditions are right. usually it's a little more broken up than that, though. xD if you see me talking about muses, headspace, "my boys", "my kids"... I'm talking about rping, I don't actually have any misbehaving children lurking around! if reading about this sort of thing really bothers you, let me know, and I'd be happy to set up a filter and keep my rp-related rants & discussions exclusive to it, for the most part. it's just not something I've done prior to this point, since most of the people on my f-list, I've met/befriended through rp connections. I prefer to play in communities rather than out of them, and I prefer muse-driven games over SL (storyline) driven ones--if I want to write a fic, I'll go write a fic, but I consider my muses to be perfectly capable of making their own decisions and directing themselves, and I won't play for the sake of drama or angst; I'd just as soon my boys were happy, because it can affect me a lot when they're not. right now, my muses who are active to various extents are rella (Heechul), Han (Hangeng), Yeh (Yesung), Mi (Zhou Mi), Min (Changmin), and hisa (Hisashi), and the shorthand version is usually how I refer to them (or 'freakshow', in the case of Yeh, because... well, he is). also, if I'm babbling about something being channelly, it's generally because the real of one of them has done something muse & I find highly ironic/applicable, and we're flailing about it. don't mind our tendency to speak in the plural, when the boys are up and awake/involved in the matter. I try not to inflict rp-spazz on people who have no interest in it, so don't worry about me bringing it into random conversations, either.
cooking: I've catered, professionally, and it's something I rather enjoy doing. sometimes I might chatter a little about cooking, or post a recipe of something I'm proud of. considering I went all the way through college convinced I was helpless in a kitchen and could burn water, if left to my own devices, I'm a firm believer that everyone can learn to cook and enjoy cooking. good food is a passion, to me. I'm not a twig, but I'm nowhere near fat--I'm healthy, and I probably won't have a lot to say in response to dieting woes, other than EAT HEALTHY, don't quit eating.
sewing & cosplay: I've cosplayed, once, the one time I went to an anime convention. I crossplayed Squall Leonhart from FFVIII, made the costume myself, had a great time, and would love to do it again, someday. I've made a furisode kimono from scratch, with no pattern or idea what I was doing, basically just piecing it together step by step from descriptions and pictures. I think it turned out pretty nicely, although my kitsuke (the 'everything else' that is worn with a kimono) needs a lot of work. someday, I want to make a lot of my own clothes--I prefer odd/unusual/striking things to wear, given half a choice in the matter, and frankly it'd be easier to make them myself than find just the right shirt in a shop.
past fandoms: X-Men (as in Marvel Comics). I am a veritable repository of useless trivia and random knowledge regarding characters you have probably never heard of, unless you happen to be a (former) fan yourself. I still have a soft spot for the entire mythos, and really did like the first two movies, but the third one was such a let-down after everything that Singer set up for was abandoned by the new director. :[ I wanted to be a comic book artist, for a long time. I still have a bunch of 'comics' that I drew. 8D then, Sailormoon (as in AI TO SEIGI NO SEERAAFUKU BISHOUJO SENSHI SEERAAMUUN! TSUKINI KAWATTE, OSHIOKIYO!, you know). I ran a fansite devoted to the villains of the series (http://www.moonlessnight.net), both manga and anime versions, which is long since defunct, but was a lot of fun back when I had the energy and drive to throw into it. and yes, I much preferred the villains to the good guys, and the shitennou were my favorites of all. Zoisite, Nephrite, Kunzite, and Jadeite ftw! I did loads of fanart and fanfics, when I was in this stage. I never did finish my 'epic' fanfic, though. u_u
-if you are here looking for-
a new acquaintance: comment! talk to me. hit me up on AIM, even, if you really want to. if you don't comment, I may not even know you're lurking (and if we've never talked and I haven't the faintest idea who you are, I may not add you back to find out). I don't bite, I promise.
my writing: go to coyotescribbles. if you add this journal only because you like my writing or want to see more, I'm afraid you'll probably be disappointed ^^; it's pretty rare that I so much as drabble, over here, and anything that's finished will be popping up over there at some point, anyway.
my SuJu video uploads (currently at something like 70 performances and odds and ends of clips): go here.
my GLAY discography uploads: go to part 1 for the albums or part 2 for the compilation albums, collaborative works, and other odds and ends. also, know that ilu for being a GLAY fan, prospective or otherwise, and I cannot recommend them enough. ♥
my Heechul-centric SuJu picspams (something like 1181 pictures, currently): go here for links that are labeled clearly, or just knock yourselves out hunting here, here, here, here, here, here, here, and here.
trouble: trash goes in the trash bin :D
...and don't worry, I don't make these huge mammoth posts too often! ♥