5am thinking.
Human emotion really confuses me. There are some people that care "too much" and some that care "too little." I guess I fall into a different category. I seem to care very little about religion or politics or who's the hottest celebrity... etc. None of that matters to me, yet I am very passionate about people in general. I am in love with the idea of loving someone and being loved in return and when it comes true, I am just so grateful. It doesn't have to be romantic love... just love. A love for a friend, a love for a family member, a love for a significant other... I just like knowing when someone genuinely cares.
I guess that's with any human with a heart.
I've completely changed as a person in the past year and a half. It's definitely all been for the better and I've tried to recognize my flaws as best as I can. I have. I know them and I can find the positivity in them. I fall fast. I fall hard and it usually ends up biting me in the ass somehow, but mostly because I fall for the wrong people. I sabotage myself when it comes to romantic relationships, yet I seek only the best in friendship. I found myself saying to one of my best friends the other day that someone was "too nice for me." I always make myself out to seem inadequate.
Maybe part of me actually believes that. I don't know. I read my previous entries since I've had this journal for years and I always seem like such a mess and it's because I let the wrong people in. I want to let the right person in, but how am I supposed to know they are right?
We're all looking for answers. I'm just in hot persuit of mine.
Don't get me wrong, I love my friends. I would do anything for them, but when you don't have the ideal, loving family situation it's nice to have a surrogate...
I guess that's with any human with a heart.
I've completely changed as a person in the past year and a half. It's definitely all been for the better and I've tried to recognize my flaws as best as I can. I have. I know them and I can find the positivity in them. I fall fast. I fall hard and it usually ends up biting me in the ass somehow, but mostly because I fall for the wrong people. I sabotage myself when it comes to romantic relationships, yet I seek only the best in friendship. I found myself saying to one of my best friends the other day that someone was "too nice for me." I always make myself out to seem inadequate.
Maybe part of me actually believes that. I don't know. I read my previous entries since I've had this journal for years and I always seem like such a mess and it's because I let the wrong people in. I want to let the right person in, but how am I supposed to know they are right?
We're all looking for answers. I'm just in hot persuit of mine.
Don't get me wrong, I love my friends. I would do anything for them, but when you don't have the ideal, loving family situation it's nice to have a surrogate...