love
ever wanna believe something so bad you go against everything your heart tells you? well actually your mind..
i wanna believe he loves me SO bad.. i wanna believe every word that comes out of his mouth.. but if i think of it LOGICALLY it feels so fake, so made up for my benefit. everything feels so empty, so rehearshed. like its been used before and worked, so he knows itll work on me.
and yet even though i feel all this, i keep fallin. more in love and closer to being hurt.
its a setup and even though i see the exit, im walkin right past it. bc being in love again feels so good.
and i HATE him for makin me fall in love with him..
im so afraid of love but so ready to jump right into it, giving my everything and exposing the scars thatll break open again..
i hate being so happy, sad, and anxious at the same time..anticipating the worst but feeling so good..
im so fucked in the head, i dont know what to do.. turn around and run? or live in the moment and taste love and happiness again?
i wanna believe he loves me SO bad.. i wanna believe every word that comes out of his mouth.. but if i think of it LOGICALLY it feels so fake, so made up for my benefit. everything feels so empty, so rehearshed. like its been used before and worked, so he knows itll work on me.
and yet even though i feel all this, i keep fallin. more in love and closer to being hurt.
its a setup and even though i see the exit, im walkin right past it. bc being in love again feels so good.
and i HATE him for makin me fall in love with him..
im so afraid of love but so ready to jump right into it, giving my everything and exposing the scars thatll break open again..
i hate being so happy, sad, and anxious at the same time..anticipating the worst but feeling so good..
im so fucked in the head, i dont know what to do.. turn around and run? or live in the moment and taste love and happiness again?