(no subject)
torment twisting
whirlwind.
i dont know anything right now.
too many drinks too many thoughts.
as i sip some more, of course.
there is a great dark cloud crushing my chest. pushing me down.
i miss lukasz.
missing someone is so much worse when you can't do anything about it. and cant think, i'll see them soon, theres vacation time coming up soon.
this is probably the closest i've ever been to feeling okay in a while. yet somehow in the past 10 minutes i've gone from feeling more than content to feeling a loneliness i fear nothing will cure.
my sister is in thailand.
this entry is stupid. i dont want to post it.
i dont think i will.
yeah.
forget it.
i'm about to close it
lost forever, within aut\
************
what day is it? where am I? how long has it been so i've just felt okay?
i never feel okay. i'm always something else. why cant i just sit down and appreciate things?
why do i over anlyze everything? i have all of these questions in my head. i've lost everything. everyone. i feel like a ghost.
how many times have i done this? how many times have i felt this way thought this way before. nothing is curing it. where do i go from here?
i always have the answers and right now i just dont. i'm in way over my head.
completely lost somwhere in another world.
theres so many things i want to do with my life but when?!?! i always work. work work work. how do i get better jobs? how do i get anywhere in life?
everything above that ********** thing is actually taken from an autosaved draft at 6:43:08 PM.
but when? what day? i dont know when i wrote all that.
NOW WHAT?
whirlwind.
i dont know anything right now.
too many drinks too many thoughts.
as i sip some more, of course.
there is a great dark cloud crushing my chest. pushing me down.
i miss lukasz.
missing someone is so much worse when you can't do anything about it. and cant think, i'll see them soon, theres vacation time coming up soon.
this is probably the closest i've ever been to feeling okay in a while. yet somehow in the past 10 minutes i've gone from feeling more than content to feeling a loneliness i fear nothing will cure.
my sister is in thailand.
this entry is stupid. i dont want to post it.
i dont think i will.
yeah.
forget it.
i'm about to close it
lost forever, within aut\
************
what day is it? where am I? how long has it been so i've just felt okay?
i never feel okay. i'm always something else. why cant i just sit down and appreciate things?
why do i over anlyze everything? i have all of these questions in my head. i've lost everything. everyone. i feel like a ghost.
how many times have i done this? how many times have i felt this way thought this way before. nothing is curing it. where do i go from here?
i always have the answers and right now i just dont. i'm in way over my head.
completely lost somwhere in another world.
theres so many things i want to do with my life but when?!?! i always work. work work work. how do i get better jobs? how do i get anywhere in life?
everything above that ********** thing is actually taken from an autosaved draft at 6:43:08 PM.
but when? what day? i dont know when i wrote all that.
NOW WHAT?