(no subject)
2005 is now buried away in various scrapbooks, piles of photos, and letters while 2006 is beginning to unravel before me in quite a relieving fashion. The events of 2005 pushed my heart's size like a giant red balloon attatched to the lips of a bored boy; expanding and decreasing with each breath, teatering on the edge of popping before all the air releases in a sigh. My heart was the largest; the closest to popping in the center of 2005. In late July, dressed in butterflies and black suffering under the wieght of humidity and heartbreak I walked into the same church I attended nursery school, this time to face the funeral of my grandmother. I felt my heart expand as I traced the edges of her sky blue casket, as her name was said over and over during the service, and again when I heard her last wishes playing over the church radio in the form of "Blue Eyes Crying in the Wind" by Willie Nelson.
3 monthes prior to my grandmother's death my heart under went some renovations that made 2005 very much worthwhile. In April I threw down a brand new welcome mat in front of my heart's door and sat quietly until Whit arrived. Since then my heart's blanks have been filled by a girl with curly brown hair and oceans in her eyes.
I am facinated with the idea that the New Year clears your slate and gives you a chance to begin anew, and of course a tiny bit skeptical, but I am willing to give it a chance. I'd like to stray away from resolutions that have to do with things like weight or habit breaking though. This year I am hoping for only a few things:
~to stay afloat.
~to de-clutterify my life of excessive reciepts, negative thoughts and people who create more con than pro.
~be nicer to my mom.
If the January 1st really does symbolize a new beginning and a point in which it is ok to bury the last years events I am perfectly willing to fold up 2005 neatly. It's events are not lost, but instead curled into corners of my memory banks waiting to jump out of my mouth during story-time.
Day 9 of 2006 and I am very happy.
3 monthes prior to my grandmother's death my heart under went some renovations that made 2005 very much worthwhile. In April I threw down a brand new welcome mat in front of my heart's door and sat quietly until Whit arrived. Since then my heart's blanks have been filled by a girl with curly brown hair and oceans in her eyes.
I am facinated with the idea that the New Year clears your slate and gives you a chance to begin anew, and of course a tiny bit skeptical, but I am willing to give it a chance. I'd like to stray away from resolutions that have to do with things like weight or habit breaking though. This year I am hoping for only a few things:
~to stay afloat.
~to de-clutterify my life of excessive reciepts, negative thoughts and people who create more con than pro.
~be nicer to my mom.
If the January 1st really does symbolize a new beginning and a point in which it is ok to bury the last years events I am perfectly willing to fold up 2005 neatly. It's events are not lost, but instead curled into corners of my memory banks waiting to jump out of my mouth during story-time.
Day 9 of 2006 and I am very happy.