Moving forward, using all my breath....
I have thought a lot about writing an 'end of year retrospective' post, and a New Year's post, and, and, and...I have done precisely nothing about it. So here's the deal: If you want a retrospective of the year, go back and read this year's posts. :) I'm not going to. I spend a lot of time vacillating between the past and the future in great wide sweeps, like one of those perpetual motion devices, winding into a tighter and tighter circle but never quite reaching the NOW. This habit has robbed me of a hell of a lot of 'now' over the years, and I am done with that - I will make one solid resolution this year, and this is it:
Stay in the present.
Make plans, yes, of course. Use the experience of the past - that's what it is there for, after all. But stay here, right in the now, while it is happening. Chop the wood, carry the water, write the blog post, pay attention to the SO, the family, the cat, the knitting, the dogs...work.
Corollary to that is to find the JOY in these things, find pleasure and happiness in doing things well, completely, with attention. Yes, even the job. They have cut my hours; my boss writes nasty notes on things; my hours cut was spun as 'flextime' but my proposal for flexible hours on various days was growled at. These things are all true. They all make me stressed and unhappy at work. That stress and unhappiness can no longer be allowed to spill into the rest of my life. Which means it can't be part of my work-life, either.
So I will use all my breath to be thankful I have a job to hate. To focus my attention on doing a DAMN GOOD JOB. To 'do the job in front of me' - which is just another of saying 'live in the present moment', really.
Right, now, in the present, Modern English is running through my head and making me smile. NPR is playing an interview that I am not really paying attention to, but I am okay with that. My gingerbread candle is burning, creating a comfortable homey scent in my office. I'm about to take my mandated lunch, eat some soup, do a few rows of knitting, think about upcoming visits, and maybe write some more.
Life, despite all its challenges, is good. Happy 2009.
Stay in the present.
Make plans, yes, of course. Use the experience of the past - that's what it is there for, after all. But stay here, right in the now, while it is happening. Chop the wood, carry the water, write the blog post, pay attention to the SO, the family, the cat, the knitting, the dogs...work.
Corollary to that is to find the JOY in these things, find pleasure and happiness in doing things well, completely, with attention. Yes, even the job. They have cut my hours; my boss writes nasty notes on things; my hours cut was spun as 'flextime' but my proposal for flexible hours on various days was growled at. These things are all true. They all make me stressed and unhappy at work. That stress and unhappiness can no longer be allowed to spill into the rest of my life. Which means it can't be part of my work-life, either.
So I will use all my breath to be thankful I have a job to hate. To focus my attention on doing a DAMN GOOD JOB. To 'do the job in front of me' - which is just another of saying 'live in the present moment', really.
Right, now, in the present, Modern English is running through my head and making me smile. NPR is playing an interview that I am not really paying attention to, but I am okay with that. My gingerbread candle is burning, creating a comfortable homey scent in my office. I'm about to take my mandated lunch, eat some soup, do a few rows of knitting, think about upcoming visits, and maybe write some more.
Life, despite all its challenges, is good. Happy 2009.