(no subject)
i hate songs that bring back memories..especially bad memories..that are just really bad..i was doin' fine all week until i heard this song..today has dragged ..
i really wish i was strong enough to handle situations better than i do..the truth is i'm not though. i'm a very sensitive girl w/ a very fragile heart..and i guess i've just got to accept that..but i just absolutely hate sad songs and immature high school boys..i'm ready for college..i'm ready to just pack up all my stuff and drive to where i'll be spendin' the next 4 years 3 hours away..i know that the "i'm ready for college" feeling is probably just a phase..for now..(i hope).. because i don't just want to let senior yr slide by..who doesn't want to have as much fun w/ it as they can w/o worrying about stupid stuff??..*easier said than done*..i want to start over and just forget about all the bad stuff that has happened in my past though..that's really kinda hard to accomplish whenever bad songs that bring back bad memories just miraculously happen to come on the radio..i don't know if it's because i seriously just have nothing to do and since i'm not stressed out that i'm just getting even more stressed out because of my lack of being stressed...or if i'm just being stupid..
..but i've just caught myself eating chocolate chip cookies and fat free frozen ice cream all day..i'm a wreck..
hmmmm..what else did i do this week before this strange day?
Friday-drove to Dallas from Keller to get my physical done @ BA..didn't know they'd be closed..drove around dallas for 3 hours filling out job applications..surprisingly nobody is hiring right now..drove back to Keller..drove by Grapevine Mills (which was PACKED..)..decided i should try n' fill out applications in the mall..filled out about 10 of 'em..stopped by Whataburger and got a grilled chicken sandwich, a large diet coke..and a job application..(..yeah..i'm kinda gettin' desperate for christmas money..) and then came home and watched *The Alamo* (very good movie) w/ Joey..he's adorable..he's the only 3rd grader i've ever known that's been able to quote Sam Houston in his "Remember the Alamo" speech. it got kinda annoying after 2 1/2 hours just of sittin' there w/ him and knowin' what was gonna happen 5 minutes into the film because of his consistent forecasts every 10 minutes..it was a very good movie tho.
Yesterday - community service all morning. i've seriously been contemplatin' whether to drop outta NHS or not..i'm not going to though..i spent all morning cleaning up trash @ my dad's custom home subdivision out in the middle of no where..they've only built about 3 houses so far, but there was a heck of a lot of trash just scattered all over the land..i got about 4 contractor trash bags full of nasty junk..then i had to haul all of 'em over to this fenced in area..*sheesh*..that about killed me..the wind was blowin' nearly 200 mph and the bags that i had filled up weighed probably 3x as much as i do..i did it though. i carried each bag individually almost 2 miles across the subdivision. four hours of community service completed..6 more to go. *sigh* i got back to dad's..took a shower..then headed out to my uncle's house in Frisco for another thanksgiving dinner. ya see..my mom's side of the family is Italian so we didn't eat any turkey/ham whatever else traditional American families eat..we ate spaghetti n' meatballs, baby! my uncle is like a regional restaurant developer or somethin for Chili's so he knows how to make these meatballs that are just CRAZY good. i ate way more than i had expected..i ran it all off for an hour on the treadmill though.
my grandpa made me really sad..i hadn't seen him in almost 4 or 5 months so once i arrived @ my uncles i saw him sitting in the kitchen so i ran and gave him this huge hug..he hugged me..then..ugh..
me: hi papa! ohh i missed you! happy thanksgiving! how have you been?
papa: ohh, just waiting to die.
!!!
i guess that meant "Happy Thanksgiving too, honey."
i hate the tollway.
i dropped my brothers off in Dallas after our second thanksgiving feast () and then headed back to Keller so Chris and I could go see the 10:15 show of National Treasure..AWESOME MOVIE..we got lost heading back afterwards..(which strangley happened the last time we went to movies last summer) hehe, it was funny. he left to go back to Missourri this morning though..he won't be back until next summer..it sucks..i'm going to miss that boy..
well..i feel really bad from pigging out on all this junk food all day..(even though, sadly, it's been the only thing able to comfort me..) ..so i think i'm going to have to put that treadmill to use once again..surprisingly i've worked out a lot this week..have i lost any weight to get into a smaller weight class for wrestlin'? no.
i really hope tomorrow will be a happy day..i'll finally be in Dallas again so I'll be able to see all of ya'll..i really miss Heather..and all the Patchwork folk(especially Val and Abe)..like i said..i'm ready for college..but i don't know how i'm going to go all year w/o seeing ya'lls faces everyday..i'll have pictures all over my walls in my dorm for sure..but to actually have ya'll there w/ me?
damn senioritus..
i really wish i was strong enough to handle situations better than i do..the truth is i'm not though. i'm a very sensitive girl w/ a very fragile heart..and i guess i've just got to accept that..but i just absolutely hate sad songs and immature high school boys..i'm ready for college..i'm ready to just pack up all my stuff and drive to where i'll be spendin' the next 4 years 3 hours away..i know that the "i'm ready for college" feeling is probably just a phase..for now..(i hope).. because i don't just want to let senior yr slide by..who doesn't want to have as much fun w/ it as they can w/o worrying about stupid stuff??..*easier said than done*..i want to start over and just forget about all the bad stuff that has happened in my past though..that's really kinda hard to accomplish whenever bad songs that bring back bad memories just miraculously happen to come on the radio..i don't know if it's because i seriously just have nothing to do and since i'm not stressed out that i'm just getting even more stressed out because of my lack of being stressed...or if i'm just being stupid..
..but i've just caught myself eating chocolate chip cookies and fat free frozen ice cream all day..i'm a wreck..
hmmmm..what else did i do this week before this strange day?
Friday-drove to Dallas from Keller to get my physical done @ BA..didn't know they'd be closed..drove around dallas for 3 hours filling out job applications..surprisingly nobody is hiring right now..drove back to Keller..drove by Grapevine Mills (which was PACKED..)..decided i should try n' fill out applications in the mall..filled out about 10 of 'em..stopped by Whataburger and got a grilled chicken sandwich, a large diet coke..and a job application..(..yeah..i'm kinda gettin' desperate for christmas money..) and then came home and watched *The Alamo* (very good movie) w/ Joey..he's adorable..he's the only 3rd grader i've ever known that's been able to quote Sam Houston in his "Remember the Alamo" speech. it got kinda annoying after 2 1/2 hours just of sittin' there w/ him and knowin' what was gonna happen 5 minutes into the film because of his consistent forecasts every 10 minutes..it was a very good movie tho.
Yesterday - community service all morning. i've seriously been contemplatin' whether to drop outta NHS or not..i'm not going to though..i spent all morning cleaning up trash @ my dad's custom home subdivision out in the middle of no where..they've only built about 3 houses so far, but there was a heck of a lot of trash just scattered all over the land..i got about 4 contractor trash bags full of nasty junk..then i had to haul all of 'em over to this fenced in area..*sheesh*..that about killed me..the wind was blowin' nearly 200 mph and the bags that i had filled up weighed probably 3x as much as i do..i did it though. i carried each bag individually almost 2 miles across the subdivision. four hours of community service completed..6 more to go. *sigh* i got back to dad's..took a shower..then headed out to my uncle's house in Frisco for another thanksgiving dinner. ya see..my mom's side of the family is Italian so we didn't eat any turkey/ham whatever else traditional American families eat..we ate spaghetti n' meatballs, baby! my uncle is like a regional restaurant developer or somethin for Chili's so he knows how to make these meatballs that are just CRAZY good. i ate way more than i had expected..i ran it all off for an hour on the treadmill though.
my grandpa made me really sad..i hadn't seen him in almost 4 or 5 months so once i arrived @ my uncles i saw him sitting in the kitchen so i ran and gave him this huge hug..he hugged me..then..ugh..
me: hi papa! ohh i missed you! happy thanksgiving! how have you been?
papa: ohh, just waiting to die.
!!!
i guess that meant "Happy Thanksgiving too, honey."
i hate the tollway.
i dropped my brothers off in Dallas after our second thanksgiving feast () and then headed back to Keller so Chris and I could go see the 10:15 show of National Treasure..AWESOME MOVIE..we got lost heading back afterwards..(which strangley happened the last time we went to movies last summer) hehe, it was funny. he left to go back to Missourri this morning though..he won't be back until next summer..it sucks..i'm going to miss that boy..
well..i feel really bad from pigging out on all this junk food all day..(even though, sadly, it's been the only thing able to comfort me..) ..so i think i'm going to have to put that treadmill to use once again..surprisingly i've worked out a lot this week..have i lost any weight to get into a smaller weight class for wrestlin'? no.
i really hope tomorrow will be a happy day..i'll finally be in Dallas again so I'll be able to see all of ya'll..i really miss Heather..and all the Patchwork folk(especially Val and Abe)..like i said..i'm ready for college..but i don't know how i'm going to go all year w/o seeing ya'lls faces everyday..i'll have pictures all over my walls in my dorm for sure..but to actually have ya'll there w/ me?
damn senioritus..