"Today I had a thought..."
This is something that I've been thinking about for quite some time but for some reason today, things really hit me. While eating dinner tonight with my family, surrounded by screaming kids, I started to think about my life in the future and if I will be able to have a husband and kids like everyone else. But then I wondered if I really did want to do that just like everyone else. My life is really devoted to Musical Theatre, and, if I take that as my career, will be for a great portion of my life. I'm not saying that's a bad thing, I love Musical Theatre, that's why I chose it as my major, but I love other things too, which makes the decision so difficult.
So many people in the business have told me that once you're tied down with a husband and kids, that's it, you're tied down with no where to go. But I don't understand why that's necessarily true. I mean, sure, it could slow you down for a little bit, but why should it stop you?? Maybe because I'm not in that position I don't understand what it feels like, but I think that, if you really wanted the family and the career, you would find a way to do both.
I don't know, it's just that so much about the future scares me. The uncertainty is almost too much to handle some days. I worry that I might get into a serious relationship and have to leave it for the theatre or I stay and then regret never going and even trying to accomplish my dreams. I talked to Mr. Roman on Monday and he posed a very interesting question, "Well, what are your goals? Do you want to just be an actress or a famous actress? Because they're not the same." And he explained to me that I could be an actress and make a very decent living, but, if I wanted to be famous, that's another story. At one time I would have answered that I wanted to be a famous actress without hesitation, but now the prospect of just being an actress making a good living doesn't sound as terrible as it used to.
Everything's just so confusing. I need to just live in the present and let my life take it's course. I know I'll end up where I'm supposed to be... eventually.
So many people in the business have told me that once you're tied down with a husband and kids, that's it, you're tied down with no where to go. But I don't understand why that's necessarily true. I mean, sure, it could slow you down for a little bit, but why should it stop you?? Maybe because I'm not in that position I don't understand what it feels like, but I think that, if you really wanted the family and the career, you would find a way to do both.
I don't know, it's just that so much about the future scares me. The uncertainty is almost too much to handle some days. I worry that I might get into a serious relationship and have to leave it for the theatre or I stay and then regret never going and even trying to accomplish my dreams. I talked to Mr. Roman on Monday and he posed a very interesting question, "Well, what are your goals? Do you want to just be an actress or a famous actress? Because they're not the same." And he explained to me that I could be an actress and make a very decent living, but, if I wanted to be famous, that's another story. At one time I would have answered that I wanted to be a famous actress without hesitation, but now the prospect of just being an actress making a good living doesn't sound as terrible as it used to.
Everything's just so confusing. I need to just live in the present and let my life take it's course. I know I'll end up where I'm supposed to be... eventually.