I HAVE NOTHING TO SAY HERE. THE MORAL OF TODAY IS: WASH YOUR DISHES.
Soooooooooo. I have such and such to talk about. But if I don't begin this LJ entry with nonsensical rambling, people won't look at my entries the same way. Plus, with all the stuff I'll be detailing in this entry, I need to have a bit of rambling to back the entry up in case the entry turns to a block of cheese. I cannot allow that! It won't happen. So I'll begin with a fictional story.
Last night I stumbled into a street fight with several people. How did this happen? Why did it happen? I'll have to start from the beginning... but that comes later. I'll skip to the end right now.
So I laid there against a wall in a bloody mess, but gazed upon the dozens of corpses scattered around that were beaten beyond recognition. I felt a great sense of relief and victory.
Now for the beginning.
It all began outside Starbucks. The place was packed due to the release of the final Lord of the Rings film. Everyone needed their Coffee for the midnight showing. Including none other than the hero of this story. I arrived just outside the Coffee shop, walking through crowds of mischievous young adults. Paying no attention to them, I yawned and stretched my arms in order to look as cool as possible, but knowing full well these types would certainly attack me at any given time. Only, when I stretched my arms it felt as if I had socked someone in the face. But I ignored it, presuming it was simply a wall. I entered Starbucks and picked up a Caramel Latte. Another four bucks spent wisely. I decided it needed a bit more sugar, so I dropped several packets in the drink and continued on my way out. But the entire crowd seemed to be gathered around something. Out of curiosity I pushed my way through.
On the ground was a man in his late twenties, bleeding heavily from his nose. The man turned his head, answering people's questions and such. He catches sight of me and his eyes pop out. He raises his index finger, points in my general direction and cries, "IT WAS HIM! HE SOCKED ME IN THE FACE! FEED ON HIS FLESH!" I raised the coffee to sip and slipped my hand out of my pocket. Everyone began to surround me. One man stepped out of the line of people and went straight up to me. He started babbling curses and the like. I lowered the coffee from my face, slyly popping the cap off, and half smiled. The smile angered the man and suddenly he raised his fist.
I SPAT my coffee in his face. The coffee had been burning my tongue since it had been in my mouth. The guy stumbled back in confusion and slight agony. I whirled around and swung my fist across his jaw and gracefully as possible. The man tumbled over to the ground. Everyone else screamed, but suddenly jumped forward to attack. I continued my spin and swung my cup of Coffee, splattering half the crowd in the face with boiling hot coffee. They all grabbed their faces and fell. The rest of the crowd had reached me and took their turns swinging. I leapt back from them and gained a proper fighting stance. Everyone noticed this and hesitated in fear. I yawned again. They dove at me again. I socked another man in the face. He fell, and the rest of the stumbled over him and smashed their faces into the ground.
I backed away to a table and an outdoor heater. I looked up to see the heater and an idea snapped in my head. About twenty men came at me at that very moment. I lifted the heater, pulling the wiring out, and swung it like a bat into everyone's head, knocking them to the floor. Suddenly a ninja leapt down from the top of Starbucks, wielding a deadlier outdoor heater. There was a flash of confusion in my eye, but I simply accepted it. The ninja swung the heater. I rolled out of the way and countered the attacked with a perfectly placed vertical swing of my own heater over his head. The ninja was flipped forward, but somehow managed to regain his cool and landed on his feet. It suddenly ran up my outdoor heater and landed a flying kick to my face. I was thrown into a chair, conveniently. Suddenly more and more people got involved and began attacking. I twirled the heater around, whacking away any intruders. I pushed back by these people to a small pond. A gigantic frog leapt out at me. I, again, accepted the fight, but quickly questioned his intentions. The Frog replied "I am useless, don't mind me." I nodded and decapitated the frog with the heater.
After I lead everyone down a narrow path across the pond, I leapt on top of them and ran across, whacking everyone in the face with various kicks and swings of the heater. They tumbled like dominoes. I encountered five Ninjas. They sent flying kicks toward me. I dodged them and ran into Starbucks. I made another cup of Coffee after knocking unconscious the employees. Three of the Ninjas crashed through the windows as another Ninja opened the door for the last one. I threw the coffee cup at them. They dodged it. I grabbed the entire Coffee pot and splattered them. Four of them dropped and melted into goo. The last one ran up and attacked me. I blocked his fist, snatched it with my other hand, broke his pinky finger and worked my way up to his elbow, creating a form of art. The Ninja pulled his arm off to escape and jumped back. He quickly pulled out ninja stars and chucked them at me. I caught two in my teeth and grabbed the last ones in the air. I chucked and spat them back, piercing the Ninja through the eyes, forehead and stomach. It fell and melted into goo.
I stretched my arms and checked my watch. The End.
I understand that doesn't fit in with the first ending, but it doesn't matter. I'm the writer here.
Now for details on things that have actually happened.
CHAPTER TWO OF THIS ENTRY: GIRLFRIEND DETAILS
I'm not quite sure where to begin. That's the easiest way to begin. I'll skip the pointless details. I went to the Nutcracker ballet last Saturday. WHY?! Because ..............she........... would be performing in it. Who is ................she.................? Possible significant other person is who ............she......... is. I think I wrote something about ..............her.............. in one of my previous entries. But, anyway, I dressed as nicely as I could (except I couldn't find a tie) and slipped on my contact lenses. INCREASED VISION! WITHOUTFEAROFDROPPINGANDSTEPPINGONGLASSES. So, I was picked up by a friend and driven out to the theater. It was maybe 45 minutes to an hour away. I can't remember, really. Parking was atrocious, so we arrived ten to twenty minutes late and because we were so late, they let us in for FREE. Tickets were apparently twenty to thirty bucks per person.
And the ballet? No different from any other Nutcracker!
After that, families of the performers were moving into the back rooms. I followed. The whole time I was quiet, but ..........she......... was there. Though I did ask how she was after hugging her and such. Didn't get any further than that in conversation. A few pictures were taken. (None with me. Although, I think my jacket's sleeve got in one with her. AMAZING.) So, the theater people kicked everyone out after a while and we went to our cars. But, of course, THERE MUST BE CONVERSATIONS IN PARKING LOTS. So. I stood silently. Not sure why I do it, but I do it. The parents decided to take me and my driver to our car in their car. I SAT NEXT TO .......HER........ on the way there.
Once we reached our car, we followed them to their house. I'm not positive, actually, but I don't ever recall being at their house before. They're putting on tons of Christmas decorations and it was turning out nicely.
After being at the house for a couple minutes, I was suddenly invited to some random Christmas party at their neighbor's. It was a short walk away. I kicked one of these randomly placed glass CANDLE holders on the driveway. I don't think I broke it, fortunately. But... WHY on earth would anybody place glass candle holders in the walkway?! Insanity! I wondered that all the way up until I entered the house. The owner was an art freak. There were these indescribably wacky pieces of art scattered all throughout the house. It came close to becoming a small art museum. Even some of the chairs were made of concrete and metal strips or something. Anyway, I met a few strange people there.
.............She......... didn't come until later. She was changing at her house. And by the time she got there, most of us decided to leave. We were all pretty hungry, so we all agreed on... DINNER. We left the house for the car. On the way, both me and ..........her......... walked behind everyone else annnnnnnnndddddddddd. CONVERSATION. She asked me what I thought of the performance. I had already felt bad for not telling her before, so this was the perfect time. I said it was stunning or something. I really can't remember my exact wording. She mentioned she made a few mistakes in it and I said I didn't notice them. I AM SMOOTH. There was a pause here. Very short one. I cracked the silence by commenting on her beauty.
Ahem. Fade out.
Wait, wait. Fade in to a few moments afterwards. I opened the car door for her. Then her sister sat between us. Okay, fade out.
CUT TO DINNER. Carrows is a great restaurant. Good food and all. Though, nothing beats Bob's Big Boy. Best restaurant ever. Anyway, Carrows. We ate there. I SAT NEXT TO HER AGAIN. I am certainly progressing at this rate. Nothing of interest happened at dinner. I should remember for next time to not get a sandwich. Tough to eat it without looking like a slob. But I think I handled it pretty well.
Typical conversations ensued. Lord of the Rings and such. Wee. I didn't talk much, but more than I was before. Spent a while there. The food took a while to get to us. Everyone ordered a hot chocolate, while I took a Root Beer. I am unique. I actually felt silly for doing that, but it was too late. Plus I like my hot chocolate with tons of sugar, so I couldn't be unloading the entire jar of sugar packets in at the table. Big mess.
Then we left. Went back to her house. I chatted with her a little more while walking to the car, though I can't remember what it was we chatted about. Everyone was freezing, though. I wasn't as cold. I almost offered my jacket to her, but thought it'd be kind of silly since the car was only a few feet away when that idea occurred to me. Oh well. NEXT TIME. My driver threw back a huge white coat for her. Her and her sister shared it. She offered me part of the coat but I refused. GOOD IDEA OR BAD IDEA? I don't know. I saw no harm in refusing, plus I would have had to take a lot of the coat in order to cover myself, which would have pulled it from her.
We drove back to their house. Everyone was just about worn out. I got myself a glass of water. Had a short chat with them then I had to leave. We hugged each other. End of story.
So THERE are your details. Butchered! Villainous cackle! Have a good day, readers.
Last night I stumbled into a street fight with several people. How did this happen? Why did it happen? I'll have to start from the beginning... but that comes later. I'll skip to the end right now.
So I laid there against a wall in a bloody mess, but gazed upon the dozens of corpses scattered around that were beaten beyond recognition. I felt a great sense of relief and victory.
Now for the beginning.
It all began outside Starbucks. The place was packed due to the release of the final Lord of the Rings film. Everyone needed their Coffee for the midnight showing. Including none other than the hero of this story. I arrived just outside the Coffee shop, walking through crowds of mischievous young adults. Paying no attention to them, I yawned and stretched my arms in order to look as cool as possible, but knowing full well these types would certainly attack me at any given time. Only, when I stretched my arms it felt as if I had socked someone in the face. But I ignored it, presuming it was simply a wall. I entered Starbucks and picked up a Caramel Latte. Another four bucks spent wisely. I decided it needed a bit more sugar, so I dropped several packets in the drink and continued on my way out. But the entire crowd seemed to be gathered around something. Out of curiosity I pushed my way through.
On the ground was a man in his late twenties, bleeding heavily from his nose. The man turned his head, answering people's questions and such. He catches sight of me and his eyes pop out. He raises his index finger, points in my general direction and cries, "IT WAS HIM! HE SOCKED ME IN THE FACE! FEED ON HIS FLESH!" I raised the coffee to sip and slipped my hand out of my pocket. Everyone began to surround me. One man stepped out of the line of people and went straight up to me. He started babbling curses and the like. I lowered the coffee from my face, slyly popping the cap off, and half smiled. The smile angered the man and suddenly he raised his fist.
I SPAT my coffee in his face. The coffee had been burning my tongue since it had been in my mouth. The guy stumbled back in confusion and slight agony. I whirled around and swung my fist across his jaw and gracefully as possible. The man tumbled over to the ground. Everyone else screamed, but suddenly jumped forward to attack. I continued my spin and swung my cup of Coffee, splattering half the crowd in the face with boiling hot coffee. They all grabbed their faces and fell. The rest of the crowd had reached me and took their turns swinging. I leapt back from them and gained a proper fighting stance. Everyone noticed this and hesitated in fear. I yawned again. They dove at me again. I socked another man in the face. He fell, and the rest of the stumbled over him and smashed their faces into the ground.
I backed away to a table and an outdoor heater. I looked up to see the heater and an idea snapped in my head. About twenty men came at me at that very moment. I lifted the heater, pulling the wiring out, and swung it like a bat into everyone's head, knocking them to the floor. Suddenly a ninja leapt down from the top of Starbucks, wielding a deadlier outdoor heater. There was a flash of confusion in my eye, but I simply accepted it. The ninja swung the heater. I rolled out of the way and countered the attacked with a perfectly placed vertical swing of my own heater over his head. The ninja was flipped forward, but somehow managed to regain his cool and landed on his feet. It suddenly ran up my outdoor heater and landed a flying kick to my face. I was thrown into a chair, conveniently. Suddenly more and more people got involved and began attacking. I twirled the heater around, whacking away any intruders. I pushed back by these people to a small pond. A gigantic frog leapt out at me. I, again, accepted the fight, but quickly questioned his intentions. The Frog replied "I am useless, don't mind me." I nodded and decapitated the frog with the heater.
After I lead everyone down a narrow path across the pond, I leapt on top of them and ran across, whacking everyone in the face with various kicks and swings of the heater. They tumbled like dominoes. I encountered five Ninjas. They sent flying kicks toward me. I dodged them and ran into Starbucks. I made another cup of Coffee after knocking unconscious the employees. Three of the Ninjas crashed through the windows as another Ninja opened the door for the last one. I threw the coffee cup at them. They dodged it. I grabbed the entire Coffee pot and splattered them. Four of them dropped and melted into goo. The last one ran up and attacked me. I blocked his fist, snatched it with my other hand, broke his pinky finger and worked my way up to his elbow, creating a form of art. The Ninja pulled his arm off to escape and jumped back. He quickly pulled out ninja stars and chucked them at me. I caught two in my teeth and grabbed the last ones in the air. I chucked and spat them back, piercing the Ninja through the eyes, forehead and stomach. It fell and melted into goo.
I stretched my arms and checked my watch. The End.
I understand that doesn't fit in with the first ending, but it doesn't matter. I'm the writer here.
Now for details on things that have actually happened.
CHAPTER TWO OF THIS ENTRY: GIRLFRIEND DETAILS
I'm not quite sure where to begin. That's the easiest way to begin. I'll skip the pointless details. I went to the Nutcracker ballet last Saturday. WHY?! Because ..............she........... would be performing in it. Who is ................she.................? Possible significant other person is who ............she......... is. I think I wrote something about ..............her.............. in one of my previous entries. But, anyway, I dressed as nicely as I could (except I couldn't find a tie) and slipped on my contact lenses. INCREASED VISION! WITHOUTFEAROFDROPPINGANDSTEPPINGONGLASSES. So, I was picked up by a friend and driven out to the theater. It was maybe 45 minutes to an hour away. I can't remember, really. Parking was atrocious, so we arrived ten to twenty minutes late and because we were so late, they let us in for FREE. Tickets were apparently twenty to thirty bucks per person.
And the ballet? No different from any other Nutcracker!
After that, families of the performers were moving into the back rooms. I followed. The whole time I was quiet, but ..........she......... was there. Though I did ask how she was after hugging her and such. Didn't get any further than that in conversation. A few pictures were taken. (None with me. Although, I think my jacket's sleeve got in one with her. AMAZING.) So, the theater people kicked everyone out after a while and we went to our cars. But, of course, THERE MUST BE CONVERSATIONS IN PARKING LOTS. So. I stood silently. Not sure why I do it, but I do it. The parents decided to take me and my driver to our car in their car. I SAT NEXT TO .......HER........ on the way there.
Once we reached our car, we followed them to their house. I'm not positive, actually, but I don't ever recall being at their house before. They're putting on tons of Christmas decorations and it was turning out nicely.
After being at the house for a couple minutes, I was suddenly invited to some random Christmas party at their neighbor's. It was a short walk away. I kicked one of these randomly placed glass CANDLE holders on the driveway. I don't think I broke it, fortunately. But... WHY on earth would anybody place glass candle holders in the walkway?! Insanity! I wondered that all the way up until I entered the house. The owner was an art freak. There were these indescribably wacky pieces of art scattered all throughout the house. It came close to becoming a small art museum. Even some of the chairs were made of concrete and metal strips or something. Anyway, I met a few strange people there.
.............She......... didn't come until later. She was changing at her house. And by the time she got there, most of us decided to leave. We were all pretty hungry, so we all agreed on... DINNER. We left the house for the car. On the way, both me and ..........her......... walked behind everyone else annnnnnnnndddddddddd. CONVERSATION. She asked me what I thought of the performance. I had already felt bad for not telling her before, so this was the perfect time. I said it was stunning or something. I really can't remember my exact wording. She mentioned she made a few mistakes in it and I said I didn't notice them. I AM SMOOTH. There was a pause here. Very short one. I cracked the silence by commenting on her beauty.
Ahem. Fade out.
Wait, wait. Fade in to a few moments afterwards. I opened the car door for her. Then her sister sat between us. Okay, fade out.
CUT TO DINNER. Carrows is a great restaurant. Good food and all. Though, nothing beats Bob's Big Boy. Best restaurant ever. Anyway, Carrows. We ate there. I SAT NEXT TO HER AGAIN. I am certainly progressing at this rate. Nothing of interest happened at dinner. I should remember for next time to not get a sandwich. Tough to eat it without looking like a slob. But I think I handled it pretty well.
Typical conversations ensued. Lord of the Rings and such. Wee. I didn't talk much, but more than I was before. Spent a while there. The food took a while to get to us. Everyone ordered a hot chocolate, while I took a Root Beer. I am unique. I actually felt silly for doing that, but it was too late. Plus I like my hot chocolate with tons of sugar, so I couldn't be unloading the entire jar of sugar packets in at the table. Big mess.
Then we left. Went back to her house. I chatted with her a little more while walking to the car, though I can't remember what it was we chatted about. Everyone was freezing, though. I wasn't as cold. I almost offered my jacket to her, but thought it'd be kind of silly since the car was only a few feet away when that idea occurred to me. Oh well. NEXT TIME. My driver threw back a huge white coat for her. Her and her sister shared it. She offered me part of the coat but I refused. GOOD IDEA OR BAD IDEA? I don't know. I saw no harm in refusing, plus I would have had to take a lot of the coat in order to cover myself, which would have pulled it from her.
We drove back to their house. Everyone was just about worn out. I got myself a glass of water. Had a short chat with them then I had to leave. We hugged each other. End of story.
So THERE are your details. Butchered! Villainous cackle! Have a good day, readers.