(no subject)

May 22, 2012 02:55


Come to think of it, I'll always be that person to live your dreams. Would mine ever count?

I'll never find out any time soon because I can't see myself crossing that bridge into your impregnable fortress of expectations built for me.

I keep telling myself that time would always be by my side, and slowly, but surely, I would one day share this dream with you. When that day comes, you'd understand me and place your faith in me.

Well-worn paths were never meant for everyone. Paths, that have long lost their value and purpose, I no longer wish to tread.

The biggest fear isn't myself, but the fear of disappointing the both of you. This fear and desire stretch my psychological being - I constantly find myself lost in this dilemma, a predicament I most definitely dread.

All this rambling would just be another entry. A few days later, it'll be forgotten. And a few months down the road, it'll resurface again because you've once again reminded me of the responsibilities I have to live up to expectations I never asked for. However, it is my duty to fulfill them because I am unduly grateful to everything you have done.

But please, spare me that one dream that I so dearly hold on to.

I truly believe that what you expect of me is safe and surely the best for me. I also believe that such expectations would culminate in a less meaningful life.

I wish I could express these thoughts to you without you questioning my rationale the moment I try to speak.

The walls between us constantly break down and repair themselves. I can't say I missed the times when it was normal because it never really has been.

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