What Gypsy means to me...

[cowboypirate]

It broke my heart on Sunday when I read Gypsy's Journal. And I'm hoping **crosses his fingers** that she'll come here next time she's having a "pity party" (her words). I'm hoping that others will follow and leave her something she can read the next time she's having a "pity party". I'm also hoping she doesn't kill me

Comments

[loveisagypsy]

A post like that takes a long time to formulate a response to. That we still talk never ceases to amazes me. That I ever found it in my mean, pinched cruel little soul to ever forgive you amazes me even more. That night you walked up to our table in Kurten still haunts me. When my mother stood up and hugged, the violence in me was unbearable. I wanted to rip her heart out on the spot. Then the whole shebang started, and the part about your dad just crippled me. I had no clue that was going to happen. That, alone, changed everything that night. It built the bridge that led me back to you. There are still times I’m bitter I guess, but in hindsight, I guess I know more about what happened that you ever will.

You barged into my life like a goddamn hurricane, and promptly tore down everything and rebuilt me to suit your needs. And I let you because my life wasn’t worth living back then. You fascinated me as well. I’d never been around any breathing human so much like me inside. It all went to fast, easy to say that now. I wasn’t ready to be so irrevocably altered, and you were far from prepared to run someone else’s life. I guess being two highly emotionally charged people, we weren’t ready to take on each others emotions. Sometimes I’m surprised we made it out alive.

I’m grateful for the experience most of the time. Your dad and grandparents left a permanent positive impression on my mind. You made me feel not so much like a freak for my expansive vocabulary and voracious reading habits. I saw you as my savior, and that was too damn much responsibility to put on your shoulders. I can tell you one thing that a friend of ours will back me up on. I never dated after you. I haven’t been out on a real date since you. And chances are, I never will either. I’ve had lovers here and there, but never went out with any of them. Approaching 40, I’ve discovered I prefer to be single and alone. My former therapist agreed completely. I’m better off alone.

I still have the Anarchist’s cookbook...your senior ring...notes from the bus *giggle* I remember you. And just for the record? The good stuff far outweighed everything else :)