Halloween 2014
Halloween
Oct 31, 2014
I don’t seem to sleep soundly until 7AM after I take the mask off. This pretty much destroys any morning assault on work or play. All morning it’s a salvage operation. Cat has an abscess on his back. I think it’s some kind of splinter he must’ve got climbing into the workshop at hectic escape pace from visitors going down the lane or intruders. I did have a strange trespasser Sunday about noon. It was some blonde lady with very few teeth coming from the back to the front yard, apologizing. Seemed implausible to wander through someone’s place - unless she was tripping. She had a tie-dyed T-shirt on and a large black satchel or purse. She said her car broke down. She then wandered east up the lane. No help up there. No civilization. Then she came back down while I decided to sweep off all the pine needles on my roof on a hunch that she might soon find this out. And well, she did. It was like she had parachuted in. I thought she may have also been casing my place. So, she scared my cat and made me feel insecure of the idyll properties of my place away from strange people who are often disrespectful of others and any notion of boundaries.
I also had a person try and steal a six foot level out of the back of my truck when I stopped at a convenience store. I took it back and got enraged. I was also tired and so just bluffed that I dialed nine-one-one. This did the trick and he decided to drive off. Before he did he made the threat that if I didn’t call the cops he was going to kick my ass later. This made no sense. He must’ve been saving face with the passenger in his car, another guy. I just stood there as if to punctuate the notion he didn’t have to wait. It was about then I realized that I had the security camera on my side. He must’ve already been in trouble. Stuff ran through my head quicker. He didn’t own a gun, must’ve pawned that for drugs if he had. Could have been shot, but someone with a gun probably didn’t need to resort to petty theft. He must’ve been just an opportunist, a microscopically small-time thief in the scheme of things. The next day I went into the convenience store and asked if they had it on camera. Then I was versed on how I had to go through Police first. I let it go. I was messed up by it for a whole day, the cheapness of thieves when it comes to my little hometown; long-term lack of opportunities. What was the smallest value thing they might steal? I started to excuse it and laugh at the nebulous gas of morality that swirls around here; some of it solid as a planet, some of it thinner than an atmosphere. I started to take it in stride as if Pueblo where its own little galaxy on those accounts.
Yesterday was a trip to counseling with the social worker at PCHC. We talked about all the stuff I was going through. We were both wondering if the Prozac is helping. IN the end I thing we surmised that it’s at least helping me sleep better, or look forward to sleep enough to wind-down well before bedtime. I agreed with her that I thought there are some people who have to take it out of bad brain chemistry or natural imbalance. I don’t have to take it. Then we touched upon music doing about the same thing if one can work it into a discipline. I say all this about sleep, but then wanted to watch the Hobbit, since I found the first of the two movies about it. I watched them out of narrative order, which meant trying to fall asleep by 1AM disappointed by the movie being more about video-game-like escape sequences than character interaction.
I really just need someone to live with besides this cat. Lovable though he is, he leaves something to be desired about daily routine that I can let slide so easily…for years without end.
Oct 31, 2014
I don’t seem to sleep soundly until 7AM after I take the mask off. This pretty much destroys any morning assault on work or play. All morning it’s a salvage operation. Cat has an abscess on his back. I think it’s some kind of splinter he must’ve got climbing into the workshop at hectic escape pace from visitors going down the lane or intruders. I did have a strange trespasser Sunday about noon. It was some blonde lady with very few teeth coming from the back to the front yard, apologizing. Seemed implausible to wander through someone’s place - unless she was tripping. She had a tie-dyed T-shirt on and a large black satchel or purse. She said her car broke down. She then wandered east up the lane. No help up there. No civilization. Then she came back down while I decided to sweep off all the pine needles on my roof on a hunch that she might soon find this out. And well, she did. It was like she had parachuted in. I thought she may have also been casing my place. So, she scared my cat and made me feel insecure of the idyll properties of my place away from strange people who are often disrespectful of others and any notion of boundaries.
I also had a person try and steal a six foot level out of the back of my truck when I stopped at a convenience store. I took it back and got enraged. I was also tired and so just bluffed that I dialed nine-one-one. This did the trick and he decided to drive off. Before he did he made the threat that if I didn’t call the cops he was going to kick my ass later. This made no sense. He must’ve been saving face with the passenger in his car, another guy. I just stood there as if to punctuate the notion he didn’t have to wait. It was about then I realized that I had the security camera on my side. He must’ve already been in trouble. Stuff ran through my head quicker. He didn’t own a gun, must’ve pawned that for drugs if he had. Could have been shot, but someone with a gun probably didn’t need to resort to petty theft. He must’ve been just an opportunist, a microscopically small-time thief in the scheme of things. The next day I went into the convenience store and asked if they had it on camera. Then I was versed on how I had to go through Police first. I let it go. I was messed up by it for a whole day, the cheapness of thieves when it comes to my little hometown; long-term lack of opportunities. What was the smallest value thing they might steal? I started to excuse it and laugh at the nebulous gas of morality that swirls around here; some of it solid as a planet, some of it thinner than an atmosphere. I started to take it in stride as if Pueblo where its own little galaxy on those accounts.
Yesterday was a trip to counseling with the social worker at PCHC. We talked about all the stuff I was going through. We were both wondering if the Prozac is helping. IN the end I thing we surmised that it’s at least helping me sleep better, or look forward to sleep enough to wind-down well before bedtime. I agreed with her that I thought there are some people who have to take it out of bad brain chemistry or natural imbalance. I don’t have to take it. Then we touched upon music doing about the same thing if one can work it into a discipline. I say all this about sleep, but then wanted to watch the Hobbit, since I found the first of the two movies about it. I watched them out of narrative order, which meant trying to fall asleep by 1AM disappointed by the movie being more about video-game-like escape sequences than character interaction.
I really just need someone to live with besides this cat. Lovable though he is, he leaves something to be desired about daily routine that I can let slide so easily…for years without end.