#15: Big Bang!
Title: From Chaos
Word Count: 5072
Rating: PG
Original/Fandom: Original, Cody Banks ‘verse
Pairings (if any): none
Warnings (Non-Con/Dub-Con etc): none
Summary: When dancer-in-training Cody publicly admits that he doesn't take dancing seriously, everyone starts questioning his true motives, including Cody himself.
“Are you a professional dancer?”
“No, not by a long shot. I try not to take dancing too seriously. It’s just a hobby that I happen to be good at.”
“But you’re a student at the American Ballet Theater school, one of the most prestigious dance schools out there?”
“Right. I’ve been fortunate enough to turn something I enjoy into a full time pursuit.”
“That is lucky. What advice would you give to a large group of people?”
“Don’t overlook the small joys while you’re waiting for the big ones.”
The post already had 50,000 likes. Someone had tagged Cody Banks, so he had a ton of messages and friend requests. He ignored all the notifications and logged off the website. He picked up the business card that he’d left on his desk that morning. Scott Vance, owner of the popular People of Manhattan blog, had given Cody his phone number and personal email. Scott said he always gave his contact info to everyone he posted about, just in case they ever had any issues. Cody didn’t have any problems, he actually had something else in mind.
He walked across the hall in his uncle’s house and knocked on his friend Jessie Simmons' door. She just shouted, “Yeah? Come in.”
Cody pushed open the door and looked up at her. She was leaning against the bed, her long legs stretched out in front of her. “You’re hard at work,” he chuckled.
“Of course. I can't waste a second. You know I have to work on my final audition piece. It’s next week! I have to be on top of my game."
Cody almost smirked at her, he thought that her die hard dedication was cute. "Don't worry, I’m sure you’re doing the most technically difficult solo out there. They’ll be amazed at your robot like skills."
"Oh Cody, be serious for once!" But she was chuckling. “I don’t want to be a robot.”
"I'm being totally serious.”
“So am I. I need to show them my passion for dance. Speaking of which, I saw your 15 seconds of fame online,” She frowned, lowering her leg and looking at Cody.
“That's actually why I came in here.”
“I’ve been meaning to ask you about it. You weren’t around all day.”
Cody had nothing to say. “What about it?”
“I can’t believe you said dancing was a hobby!”
“So?” Cody didn’t get why it was such a big deal. “What would you have said?”
“That dancing is a passion! At least a passion.”
“No, I mean about that advice thing. What advice would you give 50,000 people?”
“The first step is the most difficult.”
“Literally.” Jessie was always complaining how the worst part of dancing was the time spent learning the steps, but Cody could swear she had the ability to learn a dance from paper, if necessary. “I think you should meet the guy who took my picture, Scott," Cody blurted.
"What are you talking about?"
"Yeah, I know this sounds weird, but why not give it a shot? At least talk to him."
"Do you even know the guy? It seems like you talked to him for two seconds."
"What's there to know?" Cody shrugged. "He seemed like a nice enough guy. He runs a successful blog. I think you'll like him. He's almost as neurotic as you are."
Jessie shot him a look. "Cody!"
"What? I was kidding, but he kept fussing around, trying to get the shot. I know how you are about dancing."
"I'm just like any other dancer," she shrugged. "I want to make sure I get every detail right."
Cody didn't understand that mentality at all. He would rather enjoy himself than obsess about every detail necessary to get it right. "See, that's why you guys would get along."
"I'm not really in the mood to argue, so why not? If you want the three of us to hang out, you can arrange it."
"Ok, I'm on it. I'll text you the details."
“OK, let me know. I’m going to volunteer at the community center tonight, do you want to come?”
Cody shook his head. “No thanks. I’m gonna outside and actually enjoy dancing again.”
Jessie gave him a look. “For your information, I enjoy going to the community center, maybe more than anything else I do. I love seeing those kids make real progress learning how to dance.” She had to smile.
“Have fun…” Cody shook his head and left her to keep stretching as he went outside.
As he went out into the sunshine, he tried to ignore the feeling that it was the calm before the storm. The weather was perfect and he smiled in the sun. He turned on one of his favorite songs and just started to dance. He’d been doing the same exact thing when Scott came up to him and asked to take his picture. Cody hadn’t even been thinking about dancing at the moment, he was just caught up in the music.
Cody knew the second he tried to focus too sharply on the way his body was moving, things would start to go wrong. That’s what he had meant, he could never take it too seriously or it wouldn’t turn out right. It would look and feel forced. Cody knew he could never enjoy dancing in that state of mind. It would be like a chore. He didn’t think there were that many people who would understand it, it took a certain mindset that most people didn’t have. Most people were set on completing the task at hand as best as they could.
Life was a journey and Cody just tried to enjoy the view along the way.
Even though Scott was busy with his blog, he agreed to meet them the next day.
==
"And 1, 2, 3, 4..." The dance instructor, Mr. Curtis, scanned the room with his piercing eyes. Cody did his exercises at the barre, barely maintaining focus. It was almost the summer and he was so ready for a break, however brief it would be. He didn't care how much he loved dancing, he thought that everyone needs a break sometimes. "Cody Banks." He almost jumped when he realized Mr. Curtis was standing right next to him. "Are you really goofing off now? I would like to see you in my office immediately after class."
The boys in the class gave him a few smirks for that, but he just ignored them. He knew he was better than most of them, so he didn't really care.
"Cody, I'm very disappointed in you." Mr. Curtis stood on the other side of his desk, frowning down at Cody. "You know this is the last year you'll be a student here. This is no time to goof off.”
“Can I ask you something, Mr. Curtis? Are you online?”
“That has nothing to do with it.” Mr. Curtis crossed his arms over his chest, not looking Cody in the eye. He had obviously seen Cody’s comment about dancing as a hobby. “What are you going to do if you don't get into a company?"
Cody wasn't worried. He'd been working on his final audition piece for months, just like everyone else in the school. There was another guy named Michael who was doing the same solo as him and they'd spent hours going over it together. They weren't competition at this late stage. It was every man for himself and in order to be better than the next guy, you had to work together. It was ironic, but most of the guys didn't have time for irony. Cody pulled his arms across his chest. “I’ll get in,” he said firmly.
“What makes you so sure?” Mr. Curtis eyed Cody suspiciously.
“I’ve been dancing since I was three. It’s the only thing I’ve focused on for the last 15 years, the only thing I care about.”
“I hear that ten times a day. It’s time you start acting like you care. Ask yourself, why do I dance.”
It was a rhetorical question, but Cody didn't have a good answer. He decided to change tactics. “I know my audition solo by heart.”
“I know, I’ve seen you practice it enough times.” The instructor sounded almost bored. “But you can’t afford to slack off at all. I’ve got it on good authority that some scouts will be through here next week before the auditions.”
“Well, obviously I’ll be on my best behavior when they’re here.”
“Good. I just thought you should know because I know old habits die hard.”
Cody sighed. He was smart enough to ramp up his excitement for the professionals. "I'll keep it in mind."
"Cody, I'm serious. I put in a good word for you. You better not mess up."
"Really?" The dance teachers weren't supposed to like any of the students, let alone actually be on their side.
Mr. Curtis just nodded gravely. "I know you are very talented. The time has come for you to prove yourself."
Cody left the office, suddenly feeling very weighed down. He wasn't used to it. Dancing was something that had always just come to him. He moved his body the right way and the rest just flowed. The music coursed through him almost like electricity. He knew he was doing some very difficult things in his classes and performances. The majority of dancers could never reach his level. It didn't even phase him. He loved the challenge.
Having the instructor tell him he was counting on him was something new entirely. His parents were supportive up to the point of making sure he was happy and taken care of. They were both rich, important business people who didn't really have time for him. His friends were all dancers who were too preoccupied to really care about him one way or another. Well, all his friends besides, "Jessie!" He had to smile as he saw his best friend coming down the hall towards him.
She looked up, remaining completely impassive. "We have to talk."
"Yes, I agree completely."
"Not right now. I'm too stressed to form a complete thought. I'll meet you outside, ok?"
Cody barely had time to nod before Jessie started walking off. “Hey, don’t forget we’re meeting Scott today,” he yelled after her.
Jessie just waved him off and didn’t even bother to turn around.
Cody meet Scott in the plaza outside the ballet school 20 minutes later. He knew he still smelled like exercise and adrenaline, but he wasn't trying to impress anyone. Cody just nodded at the thin, dark haired boy.
"It's got to be here somewhere," Scott sighed, looking through his messy bag. Cody stared at Scott, who was just ignoring him. "Dude, I need that memory stick. It has my final paper on it. Sorry, you can just ignore me."
“OK,” Cody shook his head and pulled out his phone to text Jessie.
"I know this seems crazy. I agreed to meet you guys, but I was gonna go straight to class afterwards. I’ve still gotta go print out my paper."
"That's why I'm so glad I don't go to college."
"Well I'm almost done with my prereqs so I can focus totally on photography.” Scott shook his head.
Cody thought about Scott’s blog. It seemed like he was pretty focused on photography already. “I’m just curious. I’m taking a survey… What’s your advice to your readers?”
Scott looked up, confused for a split second. “People ask me that sometimes. I always say the same thing. Try to see magic through other people's eyes.”
“I guess that makes sense for a photographer.”
Scott just nodded. “I can’t believe it all depends on finding that memory stick. I don’t know what I’ll do if I fail.”
“Well, you could always become a dancer," Cody joked, but Scott didn’t seem very impressed. Cody wondered which of them looked worse right now. "Don’t worry, my school is tough too. You have to fit into their mold. It’s too much sometimes," Cody shook his head.
"You're telling me. I don’t know how you’ve dealt with it for so long. I’ve heard all sorts of stories about that place.” Scott had just met Cody and apparently he thought he had him all figured out.
Cody didn’t reply for a long moment.
“Oh, here’s my memory stick,” Scott pulled it out of his bag. “I guess I forgot I left it in the small front pocket of my backpack."
"Dude, how can you forget something like that?”
Scott just shrugged. “I’m unorganized sometimes.”
While Cody just coasted by unconcerned, Scott seemed to be all over the place, but somehow everything always came together for both of them. Cody could tell that Scott had an energy that somehow guided him to make order out of even the biggest mess. That’s why photography worked so well for him, because it could be chaos. Something as simple as making sure a shot came out could take a lot of coordination. Dancing was different. It required something else entirely. Cody gave it all his energy. He easily got lost in a dance and maybe that was part of his problem. Part of his mind was always focused on music. He didn’t have patience for the repetitive stretches and exercises necessary to be completely committed.
They sat enjoying the sun for a long moment. Suddenly, Cody looked up at the entrance of the ballet school. “Hey, it’s Jessie.”
She had changed into street clothes, but she still looked pretty beat. She walked up to the boys, not even smiling. Cody stood up and gave her a soft hug, but she barely even looked up at him. “What's wrong?" He asked softly.
She just shrugged, "Let's get out of here."
Scott looked between them, more than a little confused. Cody finally noticed his stares and he quickly made the introductions.
Jessie just shook her head. “I’m sorry, but it’s been a long day. Cody, can I talk to you for a second?”
"Sure," he eyed Scott as if to say, ‘I wonder what it is about women.’ He followed Jessie over to one side of the plaza. He squinted in the sun, trying to make out the expression on her face. He doubted she was smiling. "What's up?"
"I can't believe you," she shook her head. "People are giving me a hard time because of what an idiot you are."
"What does my level of intelligence have anything to do with you?"
"Oh Cody, you really don't get it, do you?"
"Get what?" He smirked because he was pretty sure he knew exactly what was coming.
"Dancing is about talent and commitment and, most importantly, your connections in the industry. You're making me look bad." It wasn't the first time she had said this. Maybe it was supposed to be spiteful, but Cody thought she was too critical for her own good.
"Why do you care what people think of you?"
"Can I ask you something?"
"Sure."
"Do you care about dancing at all?"
"Of course I do! If you remember, that picture on Scott's blog is of me dancing on the street, in my own spare time. I must say I look pretty good. Anyway, why would I bother if I didn't like dancing?"
"You're doing what people only dream about and you're so talented but you don't take it seriously at all. You think it's all just for fun... Just like playing a videogame or dressing up in costume or painting a picture."
"People get paid to do that stuff for a living. Why can't I enjoy my career?"
"It's different with you. It's like you don't even care. I've always thought that it was so annoying. Tell me something, Cody, are you actually passionate about anything?"
"I enjoy hearing my favorite song on the radio, seeing the magnolias bloom after a long winter. You know, the small stuff."
"Yeah, yeah," she rolled her eyes, not really believing him. "I think it's time you realize what's really important."
"I know what's important." Cody didn't really know if he believed what he was saying. He decided to change the subject. "Come on, Scott is waiting for us."
Jessie agreed to go back over to him, even though she still seemed annoyed at Cody. "I'm sorry about that," Cody said as they approached the boy.
“That’s OK.” Scott was staring at them. “I’m confused. I thought you guys were just friends and you wanted to introduce us, Cody.”
“That’s exactly what’s going on,” He nodded.
“You guys sure seem close…” Scott trailed off.
Cody and Jessie just exchanged a look and Jessie couldn’t help laughing. “Cody? No, never.” If only Scott knew they'd just had a huge fight.
“We grew up together,” Cody explained. They all started towards the subway while Cody told the story of how they had grown up together, going to ballet classes in a suburb just outside of Boston. Cody was often the only boy in those classes but he didn't care. More chance for him to dance, and fool around with, the girls. He actually only had two girlfriends before and it turned out neither of them were dancers. One was a cute little cheerleader and the other was elected prom queen. Cody was not chosen as king. Anyway, Cody and Jessie were different. They were like brother and sister, almost. They trained together and supported each other for years. As the top two dancers in their studio, they were always made partners. They had made the decision to apply to the American Ballet Theater school together and had decided to make the move together when they were 14. They lived with Cody's uncle in Bay Ridge now. Uncle Al lived in a really nice house only a few blocks from the water. There was a nice view of the Verrazano Bridge from the roof.
They all decided to go back to Cody's uncle's house instead of a restaurant or something because they were all broke.Cody made cinnamon French toast while Jessie took a bathroom break. It had become a comfort food for Cody over the years. It was filling and easy to make. "What’s with Jessie, anyway?” Scott asked from his spot at the kitchen table. “She seems really stressed out."
"I’m not sure myself. We’re all working on our final audition solos, but she seems to be doing really well with her solo. It's a great piece for her, using all her strengths."
"Well, you seem just as stressed, so it must be a big audition.”
“Yeah, it’s to get a spot with a ballet company.”
Scott just shook his head. “That seems like a lot of pressure.”"
"I know that’s part of the problem, but I think there might be more to it." Cody thought maybe she'd heard about the scouts. That would be enough to put her on edge. It couldn't exactly be that big of a secret though, could it? They usually came to see the graduating class this time of year.
Scott seemed a little lost. “I don't understand the world of dance. I know I just met you guys, but maybe you should talk to her. You seem to know her better than anyone."
Cody knew it was probably true, but he didn’t say anything.
Jessie came back into the kitchen. She plopped down into a chair between Scott and Cody. "This audition has got me so stressed out. I’m not sure I can go through with it," she sighed.
"You're kidding," Cody shook his head, handing her a plate of French toast. He sat down beside her and took a bite of his own toast.
Jessie was one of the most committed dancers, and people, Cody had ever met. Jessie's family couldn't really afford to keep her in ballet all those years, but they always found sponsors, that's how serious she was. They did bake sales, garage sales and one year, Jessie and her older sister Christy sold mail order products door to door until they found a little old lady who sponsored an entire year of lessons. When the lady asked if Christy also took lessons, she just said no, she liked to garden and write instead. Christy was finishing up her undergrad degree in journalism this year.
Jessie shook her head. "It's so much pressure. If I mess up this solo, that's it. It's all over."
"That’s why they send scouts before hand," Cody said, inadvertently spilling the news, but it didn't really matter. "That’s also why they read our teachers' reviews and watch everyone's dance reels. They know everyone gets nervous."
Cody wasn’t sure what had gotten into him, he wasn't good at supporting other people.
"I guess," Jessie just stared at her plate. "Everyone knows there's nothing like the real thing. And what if there are just no open slots? Cody, you remember what happened two years ago."
Cody didn't want to think about that. Out of a whole class, only 5 people had been able to secure spots in second rate companies. Cody didn't know if he could stand working out of some little city in middle America, waiting for something better to come along. He finally shook his head. "It's not going to happen again."
Jessie didn’t look so sure. “I know they say that a bunch of dancers are getting ready to retire and that it's time for a new generation of dancers, but who knows?"
“I think it’s true,” Cody tried to stay positive. It was the only thing he had going for him.
“I’m sorry I’m stuck on this topic, Scott. I know I just met you, but it’s the only thing that’s on my head.”
"It’s OK, I don't really understand any of this," Scott just shrugged. "All I know is that you both look terrible. Maybe I should take a picture of you guys right now for the blog."
Jessie just glared at him. “No thanks.”
Cody just shrugged. "I’m not so worried.” He wasn’t sure if he was lying or not. He moved a piece of toast around with his fork, thinking for a long moment. "You know what I need? A vacation."
"Yeah, I need to get out of this city," Jessie sighed, no doubt missing her dogs and her huge back yard. She was not made for the city, but she knew it was one of the best places to be a dancer. "But when?"
"Now. This weekend. Let's go up to my parent's place in Cape Cod."
"Are you crazy?" Jessie narrowed her eyes at him. "I need to practice non stop until my audition."
Cody smiled. "You know the house has a gym. You can stay down there for a couple hours in the morning and come join me on the beach."
"No way. You're insane. I'm going to spend every second this weekend here, practicing, and you should too."
Cody knew he couldn't argue with her when she was being so stubborn. He just shrugged. "I'm going to gas up the Volvo."
“I’ll go with you,” Scott said, picking up his bag. “I should get going.”
Cody walked with Scott to the subway and didn't have to go far from his uncle’s house to fill up his car. It had been more of a hand me down than a present when he'd gotten his license, but he still loved it. He just sat in his car next to the gas pump for a long time, no music, no dialogue to guide his thoughts. He was a mess, and it was all Mr. Curtis’ fault. He had never thought much about his future and now it was the only thing on his mind. He needed to clear his head.
By the time he got back to the house, Jessie was ready to hit the road.
Cody could almost imagine the beach house glittering in the late afternoon sun. The house was far out on the Cape Cod peninsula, away from most of civilization. It had huge sheet glass windows and an endless view of the ocean. It was quite a change from the city. Cody would just take a minute to look around as he stood in the living room, the sun reflecting off the wood floor, the ocean lapping right below the deck. He always felt more at home than he ever did in his uncle's house. He sighed, leading the way to his car, his keys jingling on the chain. Jessie was talking to her mom quietly on her phone and Cody could tell she was still thinking about her audition. He just listened to her for a long minute.
“I better just pull my hair straight back into a bun. The judges don’t like distractions.”
Cody shook his head. That was why he thought she would get along with Scott. They were both hard workers who focused on the smallest details, trying to get everything right. Scott always got compliments on his blog that he focused on the smallest detail in a shot. How could the same kid forget where he left his memory stick? Cody didn’t understand it at all. Cody turned around and started to say something, but his eyes focused on two very familiar people approaching them.
“What’s wrong, Cody?” Jessie asked when she saw the look on his friend’s face.
He couldn’t reply, just shook his head and looked into the distance. He tried to smile as the couple came closer, but he could almost feel the twisted expression on his face. “Mom, dad,” he finally choked out. “What are you doing here?”
“We can’t visit our own son?” His mom looked upset.
His dad just looked suspicious. “Where are you kids off to in such a hurry?”
“Um, we were just going for a drive.” Cody trailed off. He hadn’t bothered to ask permission because the place was always empty. They would never know the difference. Now he was caught. He looked at his friend, who was literally trapped between him and his parents. Jessie wasn’t about to say anything.
“We need to talk.” His father narrowed his eyes, he was never one to waste words.
Cody was shocked. His parents never confronted him. This must be serious. He didn’t want any part of it. “Now? We were just about to leave.”
His father just shook his head. “You’re not going anywhere.”
“Jessie wants to get out of here.”
“It’s OK, Cody,” Jessie said quietly, holding her hand against the speaker on her phone. “I’ve got to finish this call.” His best friend left him unceremoniously alone with his parents.
Cody looked at them. He wasn’t sure what to say or what they wanted. Finally, his dad put out his hand. “Hand me your keys. We’re taking a drive. We just took the Amtrak to get here. It will be nice to be in control of where we’re going.”
Cody had no choice but to do as he was told and he followed his parents to his car. As the CEO of a small but prosperous company, his father was quite the impressive figure in a tailored three piece suit. His mother walked close by, wearing a short, straight skirt with a blazer. Cody was out of place in his shorts and tee shirt.
They all get in the car and drove towards Manhattan. His parents were often in town for business, but they only knew the best restaurants in Manhattan. They always went to the same places. Cody would rather grab a sandwich in the corner bodega, but he knew he didn't have much say in the manner. Soon he was sitting in the restaurant, looking like he should be washing dishes in the back or something. He had forgotten to take a shower.
His parents studied him for a long moment. Cody wasn't sure if he should start the conversation, but his father seemed impatient for small talk. "Son, I'm just going to be frank. Your mother and I have made the decision that we cannot support you next year. That includes room and board at Uncle Al's."
"What? Why not?" This had never even been a possibility before. Cody had been under the distinct impression that his parents would support him, at least until he got his feet on the ground.
“We saw your post online,” his mother started. “How come you didn’t tell us about it?”
Cody just shrugged. “I didn’t think it was such a big deal.”
“Well, we disagree and apparently, so do some of your teachers at the ballet school.” His mother changed the subject, “Actually, they called us.”
“We spoke to that guy, Mr. Curtis?” His father asked, not quite sure of the name. Cody just nodded, growing uncalm. He knew he was about to get hit with a bombshell. “He said teachers usually don’t call parents unless something is wrong.”
Cody nodded again. Unfortunately, this was too true. “What did he say?”
“He said you don’t take dancing seriously and that people would kill to be in your position.”
“I know, I’m trying,” Cody defended himself.
“That might not be enough,” his mother said softly.
“So what do you want me to do? I’ve been practicing non-stop for this audition. I’m ready. And what does any of this have to do with cutting me off?”
“We know you’re a very talented dancer,” his father shook his head, taking a mental step back. “But I get the impression that you’ve been coasting on your talent. Do you really consider all this just a hobby? Not very many people can turn their hobbies into careers. Soon enough you’ll realize it takes more than pure talent to make it as a dancer. You’re about to enter the real world and I think it’s time you learn that everything comes with real responsibilities and real consequences. Think about your dancing… where does it come from?”
Cody thought he finally knew the answer to that question. “It comes from chaos. From taking music that I love and trying to make sense of things.”
“You need to harness that energy. Use everything you have and make it count.” It was the first time his father had shown such interest. For some reason, it was all starting to sink in. Cody really regretted that post online. “This might be your last chance.”
Word Count: 5072
Rating: PG
Original/Fandom: Original, Cody Banks ‘verse
Pairings (if any): none
Warnings (Non-Con/Dub-Con etc): none
Summary: When dancer-in-training Cody publicly admits that he doesn't take dancing seriously, everyone starts questioning his true motives, including Cody himself.
“Are you a professional dancer?”
“No, not by a long shot. I try not to take dancing too seriously. It’s just a hobby that I happen to be good at.”
“But you’re a student at the American Ballet Theater school, one of the most prestigious dance schools out there?”
“Right. I’ve been fortunate enough to turn something I enjoy into a full time pursuit.”
“That is lucky. What advice would you give to a large group of people?”
“Don’t overlook the small joys while you’re waiting for the big ones.”
The post already had 50,000 likes. Someone had tagged Cody Banks, so he had a ton of messages and friend requests. He ignored all the notifications and logged off the website. He picked up the business card that he’d left on his desk that morning. Scott Vance, owner of the popular People of Manhattan blog, had given Cody his phone number and personal email. Scott said he always gave his contact info to everyone he posted about, just in case they ever had any issues. Cody didn’t have any problems, he actually had something else in mind.
He walked across the hall in his uncle’s house and knocked on his friend Jessie Simmons' door. She just shouted, “Yeah? Come in.”
Cody pushed open the door and looked up at her. She was leaning against the bed, her long legs stretched out in front of her. “You’re hard at work,” he chuckled.
“Of course. I can't waste a second. You know I have to work on my final audition piece. It’s next week! I have to be on top of my game."
Cody almost smirked at her, he thought that her die hard dedication was cute. "Don't worry, I’m sure you’re doing the most technically difficult solo out there. They’ll be amazed at your robot like skills."
"Oh Cody, be serious for once!" But she was chuckling. “I don’t want to be a robot.”
"I'm being totally serious.”
“So am I. I need to show them my passion for dance. Speaking of which, I saw your 15 seconds of fame online,” She frowned, lowering her leg and looking at Cody.
“That's actually why I came in here.”
“I’ve been meaning to ask you about it. You weren’t around all day.”
Cody had nothing to say. “What about it?”
“I can’t believe you said dancing was a hobby!”
“So?” Cody didn’t get why it was such a big deal. “What would you have said?”
“That dancing is a passion! At least a passion.”
“No, I mean about that advice thing. What advice would you give 50,000 people?”
“The first step is the most difficult.”
“Literally.” Jessie was always complaining how the worst part of dancing was the time spent learning the steps, but Cody could swear she had the ability to learn a dance from paper, if necessary. “I think you should meet the guy who took my picture, Scott," Cody blurted.
"What are you talking about?"
"Yeah, I know this sounds weird, but why not give it a shot? At least talk to him."
"Do you even know the guy? It seems like you talked to him for two seconds."
"What's there to know?" Cody shrugged. "He seemed like a nice enough guy. He runs a successful blog. I think you'll like him. He's almost as neurotic as you are."
Jessie shot him a look. "Cody!"
"What? I was kidding, but he kept fussing around, trying to get the shot. I know how you are about dancing."
"I'm just like any other dancer," she shrugged. "I want to make sure I get every detail right."
Cody didn't understand that mentality at all. He would rather enjoy himself than obsess about every detail necessary to get it right. "See, that's why you guys would get along."
"I'm not really in the mood to argue, so why not? If you want the three of us to hang out, you can arrange it."
"Ok, I'm on it. I'll text you the details."
“OK, let me know. I’m going to volunteer at the community center tonight, do you want to come?”
Cody shook his head. “No thanks. I’m gonna outside and actually enjoy dancing again.”
Jessie gave him a look. “For your information, I enjoy going to the community center, maybe more than anything else I do. I love seeing those kids make real progress learning how to dance.” She had to smile.
“Have fun…” Cody shook his head and left her to keep stretching as he went outside.
As he went out into the sunshine, he tried to ignore the feeling that it was the calm before the storm. The weather was perfect and he smiled in the sun. He turned on one of his favorite songs and just started to dance. He’d been doing the same exact thing when Scott came up to him and asked to take his picture. Cody hadn’t even been thinking about dancing at the moment, he was just caught up in the music.
Cody knew the second he tried to focus too sharply on the way his body was moving, things would start to go wrong. That’s what he had meant, he could never take it too seriously or it wouldn’t turn out right. It would look and feel forced. Cody knew he could never enjoy dancing in that state of mind. It would be like a chore. He didn’t think there were that many people who would understand it, it took a certain mindset that most people didn’t have. Most people were set on completing the task at hand as best as they could.
Life was a journey and Cody just tried to enjoy the view along the way.
Even though Scott was busy with his blog, he agreed to meet them the next day.
==
"And 1, 2, 3, 4..." The dance instructor, Mr. Curtis, scanned the room with his piercing eyes. Cody did his exercises at the barre, barely maintaining focus. It was almost the summer and he was so ready for a break, however brief it would be. He didn't care how much he loved dancing, he thought that everyone needs a break sometimes. "Cody Banks." He almost jumped when he realized Mr. Curtis was standing right next to him. "Are you really goofing off now? I would like to see you in my office immediately after class."
The boys in the class gave him a few smirks for that, but he just ignored them. He knew he was better than most of them, so he didn't really care.
"Cody, I'm very disappointed in you." Mr. Curtis stood on the other side of his desk, frowning down at Cody. "You know this is the last year you'll be a student here. This is no time to goof off.”
“Can I ask you something, Mr. Curtis? Are you online?”
“That has nothing to do with it.” Mr. Curtis crossed his arms over his chest, not looking Cody in the eye. He had obviously seen Cody’s comment about dancing as a hobby. “What are you going to do if you don't get into a company?"
Cody wasn't worried. He'd been working on his final audition piece for months, just like everyone else in the school. There was another guy named Michael who was doing the same solo as him and they'd spent hours going over it together. They weren't competition at this late stage. It was every man for himself and in order to be better than the next guy, you had to work together. It was ironic, but most of the guys didn't have time for irony. Cody pulled his arms across his chest. “I’ll get in,” he said firmly.
“What makes you so sure?” Mr. Curtis eyed Cody suspiciously.
“I’ve been dancing since I was three. It’s the only thing I’ve focused on for the last 15 years, the only thing I care about.”
“I hear that ten times a day. It’s time you start acting like you care. Ask yourself, why do I dance.”
It was a rhetorical question, but Cody didn't have a good answer. He decided to change tactics. “I know my audition solo by heart.”
“I know, I’ve seen you practice it enough times.” The instructor sounded almost bored. “But you can’t afford to slack off at all. I’ve got it on good authority that some scouts will be through here next week before the auditions.”
“Well, obviously I’ll be on my best behavior when they’re here.”
“Good. I just thought you should know because I know old habits die hard.”
Cody sighed. He was smart enough to ramp up his excitement for the professionals. "I'll keep it in mind."
"Cody, I'm serious. I put in a good word for you. You better not mess up."
"Really?" The dance teachers weren't supposed to like any of the students, let alone actually be on their side.
Mr. Curtis just nodded gravely. "I know you are very talented. The time has come for you to prove yourself."
Cody left the office, suddenly feeling very weighed down. He wasn't used to it. Dancing was something that had always just come to him. He moved his body the right way and the rest just flowed. The music coursed through him almost like electricity. He knew he was doing some very difficult things in his classes and performances. The majority of dancers could never reach his level. It didn't even phase him. He loved the challenge.
Having the instructor tell him he was counting on him was something new entirely. His parents were supportive up to the point of making sure he was happy and taken care of. They were both rich, important business people who didn't really have time for him. His friends were all dancers who were too preoccupied to really care about him one way or another. Well, all his friends besides, "Jessie!" He had to smile as he saw his best friend coming down the hall towards him.
She looked up, remaining completely impassive. "We have to talk."
"Yes, I agree completely."
"Not right now. I'm too stressed to form a complete thought. I'll meet you outside, ok?"
Cody barely had time to nod before Jessie started walking off. “Hey, don’t forget we’re meeting Scott today,” he yelled after her.
Jessie just waved him off and didn’t even bother to turn around.
Cody meet Scott in the plaza outside the ballet school 20 minutes later. He knew he still smelled like exercise and adrenaline, but he wasn't trying to impress anyone. Cody just nodded at the thin, dark haired boy.
"It's got to be here somewhere," Scott sighed, looking through his messy bag. Cody stared at Scott, who was just ignoring him. "Dude, I need that memory stick. It has my final paper on it. Sorry, you can just ignore me."
“OK,” Cody shook his head and pulled out his phone to text Jessie.
"I know this seems crazy. I agreed to meet you guys, but I was gonna go straight to class afterwards. I’ve still gotta go print out my paper."
"That's why I'm so glad I don't go to college."
"Well I'm almost done with my prereqs so I can focus totally on photography.” Scott shook his head.
Cody thought about Scott’s blog. It seemed like he was pretty focused on photography already. “I’m just curious. I’m taking a survey… What’s your advice to your readers?”
Scott looked up, confused for a split second. “People ask me that sometimes. I always say the same thing. Try to see magic through other people's eyes.”
“I guess that makes sense for a photographer.”
Scott just nodded. “I can’t believe it all depends on finding that memory stick. I don’t know what I’ll do if I fail.”
“Well, you could always become a dancer," Cody joked, but Scott didn’t seem very impressed. Cody wondered which of them looked worse right now. "Don’t worry, my school is tough too. You have to fit into their mold. It’s too much sometimes," Cody shook his head.
"You're telling me. I don’t know how you’ve dealt with it for so long. I’ve heard all sorts of stories about that place.” Scott had just met Cody and apparently he thought he had him all figured out.
Cody didn’t reply for a long moment.
“Oh, here’s my memory stick,” Scott pulled it out of his bag. “I guess I forgot I left it in the small front pocket of my backpack."
"Dude, how can you forget something like that?”
Scott just shrugged. “I’m unorganized sometimes.”
While Cody just coasted by unconcerned, Scott seemed to be all over the place, but somehow everything always came together for both of them. Cody could tell that Scott had an energy that somehow guided him to make order out of even the biggest mess. That’s why photography worked so well for him, because it could be chaos. Something as simple as making sure a shot came out could take a lot of coordination. Dancing was different. It required something else entirely. Cody gave it all his energy. He easily got lost in a dance and maybe that was part of his problem. Part of his mind was always focused on music. He didn’t have patience for the repetitive stretches and exercises necessary to be completely committed.
They sat enjoying the sun for a long moment. Suddenly, Cody looked up at the entrance of the ballet school. “Hey, it’s Jessie.”
She had changed into street clothes, but she still looked pretty beat. She walked up to the boys, not even smiling. Cody stood up and gave her a soft hug, but she barely even looked up at him. “What's wrong?" He asked softly.
She just shrugged, "Let's get out of here."
Scott looked between them, more than a little confused. Cody finally noticed his stares and he quickly made the introductions.
Jessie just shook her head. “I’m sorry, but it’s been a long day. Cody, can I talk to you for a second?”
"Sure," he eyed Scott as if to say, ‘I wonder what it is about women.’ He followed Jessie over to one side of the plaza. He squinted in the sun, trying to make out the expression on her face. He doubted she was smiling. "What's up?"
"I can't believe you," she shook her head. "People are giving me a hard time because of what an idiot you are."
"What does my level of intelligence have anything to do with you?"
"Oh Cody, you really don't get it, do you?"
"Get what?" He smirked because he was pretty sure he knew exactly what was coming.
"Dancing is about talent and commitment and, most importantly, your connections in the industry. You're making me look bad." It wasn't the first time she had said this. Maybe it was supposed to be spiteful, but Cody thought she was too critical for her own good.
"Why do you care what people think of you?"
"Can I ask you something?"
"Sure."
"Do you care about dancing at all?"
"Of course I do! If you remember, that picture on Scott's blog is of me dancing on the street, in my own spare time. I must say I look pretty good. Anyway, why would I bother if I didn't like dancing?"
"You're doing what people only dream about and you're so talented but you don't take it seriously at all. You think it's all just for fun... Just like playing a videogame or dressing up in costume or painting a picture."
"People get paid to do that stuff for a living. Why can't I enjoy my career?"
"It's different with you. It's like you don't even care. I've always thought that it was so annoying. Tell me something, Cody, are you actually passionate about anything?"
"I enjoy hearing my favorite song on the radio, seeing the magnolias bloom after a long winter. You know, the small stuff."
"Yeah, yeah," she rolled her eyes, not really believing him. "I think it's time you realize what's really important."
"I know what's important." Cody didn't really know if he believed what he was saying. He decided to change the subject. "Come on, Scott is waiting for us."
Jessie agreed to go back over to him, even though she still seemed annoyed at Cody. "I'm sorry about that," Cody said as they approached the boy.
“That’s OK.” Scott was staring at them. “I’m confused. I thought you guys were just friends and you wanted to introduce us, Cody.”
“That’s exactly what’s going on,” He nodded.
“You guys sure seem close…” Scott trailed off.
Cody and Jessie just exchanged a look and Jessie couldn’t help laughing. “Cody? No, never.” If only Scott knew they'd just had a huge fight.
“We grew up together,” Cody explained. They all started towards the subway while Cody told the story of how they had grown up together, going to ballet classes in a suburb just outside of Boston. Cody was often the only boy in those classes but he didn't care. More chance for him to dance, and fool around with, the girls. He actually only had two girlfriends before and it turned out neither of them were dancers. One was a cute little cheerleader and the other was elected prom queen. Cody was not chosen as king. Anyway, Cody and Jessie were different. They were like brother and sister, almost. They trained together and supported each other for years. As the top two dancers in their studio, they were always made partners. They had made the decision to apply to the American Ballet Theater school together and had decided to make the move together when they were 14. They lived with Cody's uncle in Bay Ridge now. Uncle Al lived in a really nice house only a few blocks from the water. There was a nice view of the Verrazano Bridge from the roof.
They all decided to go back to Cody's uncle's house instead of a restaurant or something because they were all broke.Cody made cinnamon French toast while Jessie took a bathroom break. It had become a comfort food for Cody over the years. It was filling and easy to make. "What’s with Jessie, anyway?” Scott asked from his spot at the kitchen table. “She seems really stressed out."
"I’m not sure myself. We’re all working on our final audition solos, but she seems to be doing really well with her solo. It's a great piece for her, using all her strengths."
"Well, you seem just as stressed, so it must be a big audition.”
“Yeah, it’s to get a spot with a ballet company.”
Scott just shook his head. “That seems like a lot of pressure.”"
"I know that’s part of the problem, but I think there might be more to it." Cody thought maybe she'd heard about the scouts. That would be enough to put her on edge. It couldn't exactly be that big of a secret though, could it? They usually came to see the graduating class this time of year.
Scott seemed a little lost. “I don't understand the world of dance. I know I just met you guys, but maybe you should talk to her. You seem to know her better than anyone."
Cody knew it was probably true, but he didn’t say anything.
Jessie came back into the kitchen. She plopped down into a chair between Scott and Cody. "This audition has got me so stressed out. I’m not sure I can go through with it," she sighed.
"You're kidding," Cody shook his head, handing her a plate of French toast. He sat down beside her and took a bite of his own toast.
Jessie was one of the most committed dancers, and people, Cody had ever met. Jessie's family couldn't really afford to keep her in ballet all those years, but they always found sponsors, that's how serious she was. They did bake sales, garage sales and one year, Jessie and her older sister Christy sold mail order products door to door until they found a little old lady who sponsored an entire year of lessons. When the lady asked if Christy also took lessons, she just said no, she liked to garden and write instead. Christy was finishing up her undergrad degree in journalism this year.
Jessie shook her head. "It's so much pressure. If I mess up this solo, that's it. It's all over."
"That’s why they send scouts before hand," Cody said, inadvertently spilling the news, but it didn't really matter. "That’s also why they read our teachers' reviews and watch everyone's dance reels. They know everyone gets nervous."
Cody wasn’t sure what had gotten into him, he wasn't good at supporting other people.
"I guess," Jessie just stared at her plate. "Everyone knows there's nothing like the real thing. And what if there are just no open slots? Cody, you remember what happened two years ago."
Cody didn't want to think about that. Out of a whole class, only 5 people had been able to secure spots in second rate companies. Cody didn't know if he could stand working out of some little city in middle America, waiting for something better to come along. He finally shook his head. "It's not going to happen again."
Jessie didn’t look so sure. “I know they say that a bunch of dancers are getting ready to retire and that it's time for a new generation of dancers, but who knows?"
“I think it’s true,” Cody tried to stay positive. It was the only thing he had going for him.
“I’m sorry I’m stuck on this topic, Scott. I know I just met you, but it’s the only thing that’s on my head.”
"It’s OK, I don't really understand any of this," Scott just shrugged. "All I know is that you both look terrible. Maybe I should take a picture of you guys right now for the blog."
Jessie just glared at him. “No thanks.”
Cody just shrugged. "I’m not so worried.” He wasn’t sure if he was lying or not. He moved a piece of toast around with his fork, thinking for a long moment. "You know what I need? A vacation."
"Yeah, I need to get out of this city," Jessie sighed, no doubt missing her dogs and her huge back yard. She was not made for the city, but she knew it was one of the best places to be a dancer. "But when?"
"Now. This weekend. Let's go up to my parent's place in Cape Cod."
"Are you crazy?" Jessie narrowed her eyes at him. "I need to practice non stop until my audition."
Cody smiled. "You know the house has a gym. You can stay down there for a couple hours in the morning and come join me on the beach."
"No way. You're insane. I'm going to spend every second this weekend here, practicing, and you should too."
Cody knew he couldn't argue with her when she was being so stubborn. He just shrugged. "I'm going to gas up the Volvo."
“I’ll go with you,” Scott said, picking up his bag. “I should get going.”
Cody walked with Scott to the subway and didn't have to go far from his uncle’s house to fill up his car. It had been more of a hand me down than a present when he'd gotten his license, but he still loved it. He just sat in his car next to the gas pump for a long time, no music, no dialogue to guide his thoughts. He was a mess, and it was all Mr. Curtis’ fault. He had never thought much about his future and now it was the only thing on his mind. He needed to clear his head.
By the time he got back to the house, Jessie was ready to hit the road.
Cody could almost imagine the beach house glittering in the late afternoon sun. The house was far out on the Cape Cod peninsula, away from most of civilization. It had huge sheet glass windows and an endless view of the ocean. It was quite a change from the city. Cody would just take a minute to look around as he stood in the living room, the sun reflecting off the wood floor, the ocean lapping right below the deck. He always felt more at home than he ever did in his uncle's house. He sighed, leading the way to his car, his keys jingling on the chain. Jessie was talking to her mom quietly on her phone and Cody could tell she was still thinking about her audition. He just listened to her for a long minute.
“I better just pull my hair straight back into a bun. The judges don’t like distractions.”
Cody shook his head. That was why he thought she would get along with Scott. They were both hard workers who focused on the smallest details, trying to get everything right. Scott always got compliments on his blog that he focused on the smallest detail in a shot. How could the same kid forget where he left his memory stick? Cody didn’t understand it at all. Cody turned around and started to say something, but his eyes focused on two very familiar people approaching them.
“What’s wrong, Cody?” Jessie asked when she saw the look on his friend’s face.
He couldn’t reply, just shook his head and looked into the distance. He tried to smile as the couple came closer, but he could almost feel the twisted expression on his face. “Mom, dad,” he finally choked out. “What are you doing here?”
“We can’t visit our own son?” His mom looked upset.
His dad just looked suspicious. “Where are you kids off to in such a hurry?”
“Um, we were just going for a drive.” Cody trailed off. He hadn’t bothered to ask permission because the place was always empty. They would never know the difference. Now he was caught. He looked at his friend, who was literally trapped between him and his parents. Jessie wasn’t about to say anything.
“We need to talk.” His father narrowed his eyes, he was never one to waste words.
Cody was shocked. His parents never confronted him. This must be serious. He didn’t want any part of it. “Now? We were just about to leave.”
His father just shook his head. “You’re not going anywhere.”
“Jessie wants to get out of here.”
“It’s OK, Cody,” Jessie said quietly, holding her hand against the speaker on her phone. “I’ve got to finish this call.” His best friend left him unceremoniously alone with his parents.
Cody looked at them. He wasn’t sure what to say or what they wanted. Finally, his dad put out his hand. “Hand me your keys. We’re taking a drive. We just took the Amtrak to get here. It will be nice to be in control of where we’re going.”
Cody had no choice but to do as he was told and he followed his parents to his car. As the CEO of a small but prosperous company, his father was quite the impressive figure in a tailored three piece suit. His mother walked close by, wearing a short, straight skirt with a blazer. Cody was out of place in his shorts and tee shirt.
They all get in the car and drove towards Manhattan. His parents were often in town for business, but they only knew the best restaurants in Manhattan. They always went to the same places. Cody would rather grab a sandwich in the corner bodega, but he knew he didn't have much say in the manner. Soon he was sitting in the restaurant, looking like he should be washing dishes in the back or something. He had forgotten to take a shower.
His parents studied him for a long moment. Cody wasn't sure if he should start the conversation, but his father seemed impatient for small talk. "Son, I'm just going to be frank. Your mother and I have made the decision that we cannot support you next year. That includes room and board at Uncle Al's."
"What? Why not?" This had never even been a possibility before. Cody had been under the distinct impression that his parents would support him, at least until he got his feet on the ground.
“We saw your post online,” his mother started. “How come you didn’t tell us about it?”
Cody just shrugged. “I didn’t think it was such a big deal.”
“Well, we disagree and apparently, so do some of your teachers at the ballet school.” His mother changed the subject, “Actually, they called us.”
“We spoke to that guy, Mr. Curtis?” His father asked, not quite sure of the name. Cody just nodded, growing uncalm. He knew he was about to get hit with a bombshell. “He said teachers usually don’t call parents unless something is wrong.”
Cody nodded again. Unfortunately, this was too true. “What did he say?”
“He said you don’t take dancing seriously and that people would kill to be in your position.”
“I know, I’m trying,” Cody defended himself.
“That might not be enough,” his mother said softly.
“So what do you want me to do? I’ve been practicing non-stop for this audition. I’m ready. And what does any of this have to do with cutting me off?”
“We know you’re a very talented dancer,” his father shook his head, taking a mental step back. “But I get the impression that you’ve been coasting on your talent. Do you really consider all this just a hobby? Not very many people can turn their hobbies into careers. Soon enough you’ll realize it takes more than pure talent to make it as a dancer. You’re about to enter the real world and I think it’s time you learn that everything comes with real responsibilities and real consequences. Think about your dancing… where does it come from?”
Cody thought he finally knew the answer to that question. “It comes from chaos. From taking music that I love and trying to make sense of things.”
“You need to harness that energy. Use everything you have and make it count.” It was the first time his father had shown such interest. For some reason, it was all starting to sink in. Cody really regretted that post online. “This might be your last chance.”