hard truths....
My mother called tonight to update me on my Nana's condition. She has been stable after a scare and being moved to the ICU. They are hoping that they will be able to do the operation tomorrow if she stays stable all night. My mom was really making me angry tonight tho. She is constantly trying to play the victim. that makes me angry. She projects her problems onto Nana and that also bothers me greatly. Like tonight she said that Nana was feeling anxious because of the alcohol, which is not true, Nana wasn't dependent on it, she used it to help her sleep and iv monitored it, she would only have a glass or two a night. Grant it, i do believe its a reason she is wobbly at night and that she is in no condition to be having even that much because she is already feeling weak from the chemo and stuff. I don't think its the reason for her anxiety and increased heart rate at the hospital. I think the medication they give her makes her not function right and loopy. She doesn't realize she is in a hospital and see's unfamiliar things and people and gets nervous. I'm just angry and ready to be home for the summer. I have been feeling very lonely and sad here...and now add very angry as of late to that list...some very negative emotions all rolled into one, and thats not good...Meh