West Side Story
St. Joseph is a sad little town to me now. I realize there are more things here worth missing when I'm there, and less things there worth missing when I'm here. The less I miss, the more I regret. And the more I regret, the more I tend to forget. Love and memory are a cruel mistress. Overall, going back was good. But this is the first time I feel like I don't want to go back. I practically lived at Caswell's which was nice. We played lots of Magic and Mario Party. I spent some time with family and some time alone. Those things, the ones that will never change, are the only things that made it worthwhile. The town itself is becoming nothing to me, only a symbol of the handful of people who mean the world to me. It makes me want to shift my life there, to revive it to what it was before I left.
Things could have been different. I hate thinking about it, so I'll stop here.
Move-in is Sunday and it won't come soon enough. I'm going to be alone a lot this week, which doesn't make things better. All this reflection is getting to me.
I'm working on four or five poems in my head right now, and they'll be on paper soon enough. I'm anxious to update the site and start writing poetry for my ENG 304 class. But for now, I need to eat something.
"Couldn't take the blame.
Sick with shame.
Must be exhausting to lose your own game.
Selfishly hated,
No wonder you're jaded.
You can't play the victim this time,
And you're too late.
Don't cry to me.
If you loved me,
You would be here with me.
You want me,
Come find me.
Make up your mind."
Things could have been different. I hate thinking about it, so I'll stop here.
Move-in is Sunday and it won't come soon enough. I'm going to be alone a lot this week, which doesn't make things better. All this reflection is getting to me.
I'm working on four or five poems in my head right now, and they'll be on paper soon enough. I'm anxious to update the site and start writing poetry for my ENG 304 class. But for now, I need to eat something.
"Couldn't take the blame.
Sick with shame.
Must be exhausting to lose your own game.
Selfishly hated,
No wonder you're jaded.
You can't play the victim this time,
And you're too late.
Don't cry to me.
If you loved me,
You would be here with me.
You want me,
Come find me.
Make up your mind."