a list of reflections or change (or both?)
Well, it is the beginning of a new year, at least in the Christian calendar. I think we still have another month or two before the people in the East bring in their new year. It is amazing to think that just a year ago, I was living in another country, traveling around the Iberian peninsula with two friends of mine. This is the time of the year when people wish to discuss what their resolutions are going to be. However, I feel that in order to truly know what we will be doing for our own personal growth in the upcoming year, it is only pragmatic to first discuss what we have learned up until this point.
I need to start learning how to place better value on the people I choose to surround myself with.
There are people who I tend to place a higher priority on than deserved and there are also people who I put a lower priority on than deserved. I may have touched upon this subject briefly in a previous post, but I feel that it deserves a second discussion. There are some friends of mine who I treat like close family members. Whenever I come back to Jersey, I always leave my schedule open, hoping that they will make a lot of time to see me. Although I am the person that will be in the area only temporarily, I am the one who tries to remain as flexible as possible to see these individuals. I even come to them if necessary, without me having my own vehicle; I try to make it work.
I suppose that I have always known that these people do not value me as much as I value them when it comes to making time to see one another. I, like those people that I criticize, keeping hoping that people will change and will eventually see how important I am. This denial has caused me so much pain and although it hurts for me to finally realize that I am really not that important to certain individuals, I have to change my actions and move on.
On the other hand, there are people who have surprised me by how good of friends they have been to me since I graduated from Stevens in 2005. They have done an amazing job with keeping in touch and always making time to see me when I come back home to visit from Minneapolis. They were people who I was not very close with in college and I continued to maintain a somewhat superficial friendship with them immediately after college. The years after college have showed me that these people are good people for me to get to know better.
After deciding who is worth my time, I need to learn how to keep in touch with people better. There are many mediums of communication I can use now so there are really no excuses. I should follow up with people more often and see how they are doing, which brings me to my next area of improvement...
I need to become a better listener.
Most of my poor listening skills come from my arrogance. I ask people how they doing out of habit, because that is what is expected of me. I honestly do not give a shit about your boyfriend problems or what you feel is the most exciting thing going on in your life right now. I become impatient very easily with repetition and hate it when people come to me, complaining about the same problems over and over again. I especially hate it when these people are even more poor listeners than myself, people who never even bother to ask that primary question of how *I* am doing.
I need to start learning how to care for people better. Not everyone has the same magnitude of issues that I do. However, that does not make their problems any less important to them. Life deals out to us what we can handle. Some of us just are weaker than others and I need to learn to accept that.
I need to work on my body image.
I have fallen into a rut that reminds me too much of my Sophomore Year in college. Human beings are creatures of habit, but I refuse to go through that period in my life again.
I have always been amused by the people who create these enormous lists of resolutions for the New Year. None of us are superheroes. If you really are serious about change, that shit takes time. Hopefully, by this same time next year, I'll have a list of three different things to put on here for 2009.
I need to start learning how to place better value on the people I choose to surround myself with.
There are people who I tend to place a higher priority on than deserved and there are also people who I put a lower priority on than deserved. I may have touched upon this subject briefly in a previous post, but I feel that it deserves a second discussion. There are some friends of mine who I treat like close family members. Whenever I come back to Jersey, I always leave my schedule open, hoping that they will make a lot of time to see me. Although I am the person that will be in the area only temporarily, I am the one who tries to remain as flexible as possible to see these individuals. I even come to them if necessary, without me having my own vehicle; I try to make it work.
I suppose that I have always known that these people do not value me as much as I value them when it comes to making time to see one another. I, like those people that I criticize, keeping hoping that people will change and will eventually see how important I am. This denial has caused me so much pain and although it hurts for me to finally realize that I am really not that important to certain individuals, I have to change my actions and move on.
On the other hand, there are people who have surprised me by how good of friends they have been to me since I graduated from Stevens in 2005. They have done an amazing job with keeping in touch and always making time to see me when I come back home to visit from Minneapolis. They were people who I was not very close with in college and I continued to maintain a somewhat superficial friendship with them immediately after college. The years after college have showed me that these people are good people for me to get to know better.
After deciding who is worth my time, I need to learn how to keep in touch with people better. There are many mediums of communication I can use now so there are really no excuses. I should follow up with people more often and see how they are doing, which brings me to my next area of improvement...
I need to become a better listener.
Most of my poor listening skills come from my arrogance. I ask people how they doing out of habit, because that is what is expected of me. I honestly do not give a shit about your boyfriend problems or what you feel is the most exciting thing going on in your life right now. I become impatient very easily with repetition and hate it when people come to me, complaining about the same problems over and over again. I especially hate it when these people are even more poor listeners than myself, people who never even bother to ask that primary question of how *I* am doing.
I need to start learning how to care for people better. Not everyone has the same magnitude of issues that I do. However, that does not make their problems any less important to them. Life deals out to us what we can handle. Some of us just are weaker than others and I need to learn to accept that.
I need to work on my body image.
I have fallen into a rut that reminds me too much of my Sophomore Year in college. Human beings are creatures of habit, but I refuse to go through that period in my life again.
I have always been amused by the people who create these enormous lists of resolutions for the New Year. None of us are superheroes. If you really are serious about change, that shit takes time. Hopefully, by this same time next year, I'll have a list of three different things to put on here for 2009.