i like you im not gonna quit i love you im not gonna quit i killed you im not gonna quit
ok so, there are two things that i actually look forward to during the school year- my family being together at christmas and going snowboarding after exams. now that the first one didnt happen and i cried through the whole thing, im not allowed to go snowboarding. yeah so i must have really messed up to get myself into that right? my father yelled at me bcuz he said i am too sad and i cant even get excited about going snowboarding. oh yeah, and bcuz i told him that if he wanted to leave wednesday night then he should probably look for a place to stay now. the one time that im actually being helpful and im not being rude and im trying to be a greatful and nice daughter, i get screamed at, grounded, and stripped of the only things in my life that can possibly make me happy. tonight i realize, really realize not just guessing or feeling sorry for myself or any of those things people do when theyre upset, but really realize, that aside from loving me, my parents truly hate me. and whats even worse about the whole situation is that no one really has any reason to believe me other than the fact that im no where near sick enough to make something like this up. my parents are as nice as can be to everyone to me even in front of everyone. its like they lead secret lives. and nothing is ever good enough. and nothing good is ever really good. and for the first time really, i have no one to talk to. i miss you like you miss me. call anytime. for both of our sakes. :(. bad times.