A Really Good Friday
Months and months ago, my friend Regan Hofmann and I were invited to the Forman School in Connecticut, the boarding school that my faux bro IanMichael attends. The librarian, the fabulous Ms. K-M, asked if we would hold afternoon discussions for students who read our books, and then speak at an all-school evening assembly. We set a date and Ms. K-M made book trailers that we loved and forwarded around to everyone we knew. (Here’s the one for POSITIVELY and here’s the one for I HAVE SOMETHING TO TELL YOU - and thank you, Josh, for teaching Ms. K-M how to make them!) Regan and I talked a little bit about our plans, but it seemed so far in the future. Now I can’t believe the day actually came and went.
Last year, I visited Forman for the first time and declared that I’d never seen a more beautiful school - and that was on a day that was gray and rainy. When Regan and I went on Friday, the weather was glorious. She drove, for which I am eternally grateful, since I have the world’s worst sense of direction and have been known to get lost even when I have a GPS system to guide me. Just before we pulled up in front of the library, I texted IanMichael to come outside. He’d never met Regan, but I knew he would fall in love with her as soon as he saw her metallic green Bullitt, oh so very Steve McQueen. How well I know my brother: “She’s your coolest friend,” he told me. “Do you think she’ll let me drive it?”
“Not when you’re still a couple years away from having a license,” I said. He was bummed but I told him not to feel left out, since I can’t drive it either: When I sit in the passenger seat, I can’t see over the dashboard. The perils of being five feet tall.
Anyway, I headed to the upstairs section of the library, where I spoke to a group of girls who had read POSITIVELY, while Regan held court downstairs. My group was so enthusiastic about the book. Students at Forman have learning differences, and a couple of them told me it was the first book they had ever read for pleasure and enjoyed. One girl said, “I really related to Emmy because of the way her dad sent her to camp for kids with HIV, and how she felt pushed out of her house, even though it really helped her. I have dyslexia and I always felt different around my friends. But when my parents told me they were sending me to boarding school, I was really upset, because it felt like they were trying to get rid of me. Now that I’m here, I know it was actually because they loved me, and I feel like I’m a place where people finally understand what it’s like to be me.” The other girls in the circle were nodding. I hadn’t anticipated that they’d make that connection to the book and it blew me away.
I spoke to the kids for about an hour and half. Then Regan and I headed into town for dinner. She spotted a place with outdoor seating, so naturally we decided to eat there. It seemed like a milestone - the first outdoor meal of the season. I had mozzarella sticks, one of my favorite meals, and I told her the very sad story about how Easter was almost upon us and I hadn’t been able to find any Cadbury mini eggs in Manhattan. Then, strangely, two different people came up to us and asked if we were from The Real Housewives. Neither one of us had ever seen the show, nor could we tell if the question was meant as a compliment.
A little while later, we headed back to Forman for the assembly. People were arriving at the auditorium and I started to get nervous. I glanced inside and saw chairs and a lectern set up on stage for Regan and me. The plan was for Ms. K-M to introduce me. I would speak about my involvement with the Elizabeth Glaser Pediatric AIDS Foundation, and why I decided to write POSITIVELY. Then I would read a section of the book, and after that, I’d introduce Regan.
Usually I take an outline with me when I speak in assemblies, just so I can make sure I say all the things I want to say, but I wanted to seem more casual this time. I think it worked out all right - I have the story of getting involved with the Foundation down pat, and I’ve read from the book a bunch of times. The kids seemed to be paying attention. My brother was sitting toward the back and I kept glancing at him, trying to gauge his reaction. As long as he didn’t look horrified and embarrassed, I figured I was okay. I did get a little choked up when I introduced Regan - as I explained how we’d met through the Foundation (she’s one of the Foundation’s “ambassadors”) and how much I’ve learned from her. Then I felt flustered so I left out things I’d wanted to say about the work she does.
She got up and told the kids a bit about her story - she was diagnosed with HIV fourteen years ago, after having unprotected sex with her boyfriend twice. She told them she’s been on medication for years and she’s always responded well to it. She said she’s never been sick because of HIV - and when she said that, everyone in the audience burst into applause. I absolutely loved that.
Regan spoke for awhile and it was cool to be on stage and watch the audience, watch how they were riveted to everything she said. Without ever sounding preachy, she talked to the kids about staying safe and taking responsibility. I was so proud to be her friend. She read a section of I HAVE SOMETHING TO TELL YOU, and then I stepped back up the lectern to answer questions with her. Mostly, the kids had questions for Regan about living with HIV - and she answered everything with honesty and candor. She said to me later, “To me, if I save one kid, it’s worth talking about my life.” Someone asked about how her friends have reacted to her HIV, and I answered that one. I said even though we probably wouldn’t have met without the connection to the Foundation, and even though we talk about HIV a lot, it is really just a sliver of our friendship. And the thing about having something that maybe makes a friendship a little bit more intense is that it also makes it stronger.
After it all ended, a bunch of students and faculty came up to say hello, take pictures, get books signed. A least a dozen kids told us that it was the best assembly they’d ever been to. I handed one of them my camera and he took this picture of IanMichael, me, Regan, and Ms. K-M. (I just realized not one of us is wearing black in the picture - since at least three out of four of us identify ourselves as New Yorkers, that is kind of a miracle.)
Yesterday morning Regan texted me to say she’d found Cadbury mini eggs at a store in New Jersey and she’d picked some up for me - just another reason why I’m thrilled to be her friend.
Last year, I visited Forman for the first time and declared that I’d never seen a more beautiful school - and that was on a day that was gray and rainy. When Regan and I went on Friday, the weather was glorious. She drove, for which I am eternally grateful, since I have the world’s worst sense of direction and have been known to get lost even when I have a GPS system to guide me. Just before we pulled up in front of the library, I texted IanMichael to come outside. He’d never met Regan, but I knew he would fall in love with her as soon as he saw her metallic green Bullitt, oh so very Steve McQueen. How well I know my brother: “She’s your coolest friend,” he told me. “Do you think she’ll let me drive it?”
“Not when you’re still a couple years away from having a license,” I said. He was bummed but I told him not to feel left out, since I can’t drive it either: When I sit in the passenger seat, I can’t see over the dashboard. The perils of being five feet tall.
Anyway, I headed to the upstairs section of the library, where I spoke to a group of girls who had read POSITIVELY, while Regan held court downstairs. My group was so enthusiastic about the book. Students at Forman have learning differences, and a couple of them told me it was the first book they had ever read for pleasure and enjoyed. One girl said, “I really related to Emmy because of the way her dad sent her to camp for kids with HIV, and how she felt pushed out of her house, even though it really helped her. I have dyslexia and I always felt different around my friends. But when my parents told me they were sending me to boarding school, I was really upset, because it felt like they were trying to get rid of me. Now that I’m here, I know it was actually because they loved me, and I feel like I’m a place where people finally understand what it’s like to be me.” The other girls in the circle were nodding. I hadn’t anticipated that they’d make that connection to the book and it blew me away.
I spoke to the kids for about an hour and half. Then Regan and I headed into town for dinner. She spotted a place with outdoor seating, so naturally we decided to eat there. It seemed like a milestone - the first outdoor meal of the season. I had mozzarella sticks, one of my favorite meals, and I told her the very sad story about how Easter was almost upon us and I hadn’t been able to find any Cadbury mini eggs in Manhattan. Then, strangely, two different people came up to us and asked if we were from The Real Housewives. Neither one of us had ever seen the show, nor could we tell if the question was meant as a compliment.
A little while later, we headed back to Forman for the assembly. People were arriving at the auditorium and I started to get nervous. I glanced inside and saw chairs and a lectern set up on stage for Regan and me. The plan was for Ms. K-M to introduce me. I would speak about my involvement with the Elizabeth Glaser Pediatric AIDS Foundation, and why I decided to write POSITIVELY. Then I would read a section of the book, and after that, I’d introduce Regan.
Usually I take an outline with me when I speak in assemblies, just so I can make sure I say all the things I want to say, but I wanted to seem more casual this time. I think it worked out all right - I have the story of getting involved with the Foundation down pat, and I’ve read from the book a bunch of times. The kids seemed to be paying attention. My brother was sitting toward the back and I kept glancing at him, trying to gauge his reaction. As long as he didn’t look horrified and embarrassed, I figured I was okay. I did get a little choked up when I introduced Regan - as I explained how we’d met through the Foundation (she’s one of the Foundation’s “ambassadors”) and how much I’ve learned from her. Then I felt flustered so I left out things I’d wanted to say about the work she does.
She got up and told the kids a bit about her story - she was diagnosed with HIV fourteen years ago, after having unprotected sex with her boyfriend twice. She told them she’s been on medication for years and she’s always responded well to it. She said she’s never been sick because of HIV - and when she said that, everyone in the audience burst into applause. I absolutely loved that.
Regan spoke for awhile and it was cool to be on stage and watch the audience, watch how they were riveted to everything she said. Without ever sounding preachy, she talked to the kids about staying safe and taking responsibility. I was so proud to be her friend. She read a section of I HAVE SOMETHING TO TELL YOU, and then I stepped back up the lectern to answer questions with her. Mostly, the kids had questions for Regan about living with HIV - and she answered everything with honesty and candor. She said to me later, “To me, if I save one kid, it’s worth talking about my life.” Someone asked about how her friends have reacted to her HIV, and I answered that one. I said even though we probably wouldn’t have met without the connection to the Foundation, and even though we talk about HIV a lot, it is really just a sliver of our friendship. And the thing about having something that maybe makes a friendship a little bit more intense is that it also makes it stronger.
After it all ended, a bunch of students and faculty came up to say hello, take pictures, get books signed. A least a dozen kids told us that it was the best assembly they’d ever been to. I handed one of them my camera and he took this picture of IanMichael, me, Regan, and Ms. K-M. (I just realized not one of us is wearing black in the picture - since at least three out of four of us identify ourselves as New Yorkers, that is kind of a miracle.)
Yesterday morning Regan texted me to say she’d found Cadbury mini eggs at a store in New Jersey and she’d picked some up for me - just another reason why I’m thrilled to be her friend.