(no subject)

[courtney0721]

ugggh i haven't written in this shit for the longest time
buuuut my boyfriend made me delete my myspace
so now basically i have nothing to do
cause i lost my fucking license
and no one ever comes to pick me up
so basically i'm stuck at home all the time
and it really sucks.

i really hate how me and john get along so well
but only for days at a time..
like we'll be really happy for like three days straight
then one of us will do something to piss the other person off
then it's like a constant war for three more days.
it's pretty much the most annoying thing i've ever had to deal with.
i just wish i could be the perfect girlfriend, the perfect friend, the perfect daughter, the perfect student..
then i wouldn't have to worry about fucking up
because i always seem to do that
no matter what happens
and it's really discouraging
when at least one person is constantly telling you
that you're doing something wrong.

i also wish i had more self control.
if i had more self control i wouldn't always be worried about my weight
and worried that i'm gonna say the wrong thing to the wrong person
and worried that i'm going to do something i'll regret
or anything like that.

i'm not even really sure what i'm trying to say right now
or why i'm even on livejournal
but yeah, word.