give love to make more
there are times in life when a conflict that seems to be the end of your world as it happens turns into a good thing. the blinders are ripped away and you see more of not only the people you know but of yourself. you're forced into a new angle, forced to see things you've never noticed but have always been there. you see flaws in your own life, parts of you that need some repair before entering back into the friendship. with some work you fix those flaws and come back together again to see if now maybe things will be better. if the bonds are strong enough they can't be broken by one disagreement. and thats what you fervently hope. that maybe next time, maybe once you've sorted through the wreck you have all made of what was once a beautiful thing, you can build something even more beautiful on more solid ground. if the bonds are strong enough you rebuild this time not on sand so close to the dangerous waves but on something more stable. you may not be on rock yet. you may have to tear the place down and rebuild again. it may just be farther back on the sand. but it's a start. it's movement in the right direction. like building a physical house though these things take work. they don't just happen. houses just aren't built. it takes cooperation and alot of work to get done. but if everyone pitches in and works together, it gets done. a friendship is really no different if it is a true friendship. you have to step outside yourself, outside your constraints and offer yourself when it's not convenient for you. you have to try. it can be hard at times. but if you can come together and work through the rough patches then you deepen the bonds. if you pull away at the slighest sign of hardship, then things will never go anywhere. you have an acquantance that is fun to do things with. you cannot connect with anyone without effort. it's not like fitting a square into a circle. its like fitting a circle into a hole that is a touch too small around the edges. it takes trimming and work.
i spent highschool expecting a great relationship to just happen, expecting people to just come to me. to my surprise and hurt, it never did. i was too shy and too scared to even pick up a phone and call someone to come over or go get coffee. not just scared, terrified. i feared rejection too much to step outside myself and try to connect with anyone. it was easier, more convenient to sit and wait. but it was lonely as hell. then senior year i tried. i made an effort. i called people. i hated using a phone before. and then as i began to make an effort, as i began to move outside my comfort zone and grow vulnerable, i began to build the sort of bonds i always wanted to have. the key was the vulnerability.
the key in any relationship is vulnerability. and true vulnerability takes work.
i spent highschool expecting a great relationship to just happen, expecting people to just come to me. to my surprise and hurt, it never did. i was too shy and too scared to even pick up a phone and call someone to come over or go get coffee. not just scared, terrified. i feared rejection too much to step outside myself and try to connect with anyone. it was easier, more convenient to sit and wait. but it was lonely as hell. then senior year i tried. i made an effort. i called people. i hated using a phone before. and then as i began to make an effort, as i began to move outside my comfort zone and grow vulnerable, i began to build the sort of bonds i always wanted to have. the key was the vulnerability.
the key in any relationship is vulnerability. and true vulnerability takes work.