I hate this feeling
So, I could write a lot, but I won't. Jarrod broke up with me, seemingly out of no where, on Sunday night. He just point blank told me that he didn't love me anymore and that he felt nothing when he kissed me. It hurt so much because he had just done those things on Saturday, and I never questioned it. Sure, we had a fight on Saturday night, and I considered breaking up with him. However, I reasoned with myself, and I just couldn't get over the fact that I loved him. And if I loved him enough, everything would work out. It didn't.
Now, I find myself back in my ever-continuous bitter, single state. I feel now like it never left. Hard to believe that it's been two years since I broke up with Blaine and felt these horrible break up feelings for the first time. Since then, I've been dumped on twice, and this time feels worse than ever. It sucks to lose a boyfriend, but also lose a friend of over 15 years. I wish the friendship could be salvaged, but as much as I want to call him, I know that it would do nothing. As much as I wish I could change him mind, and as much as I tried, I just have to face that the relationship that I thought was perfect is over.
Trying to move on does seem a little bit easier this time, especially since I'm not faced with him every day at work like before. Nonetheless, we have the same friends, and it's going to be hard to avoid him forever. It just makes it hard to be at home without many friends to hang out with, and it makes me not look forward to living with three attached friends next year.
Oh well, I'm a tough cookie. I can take this. What doesn't kill me makes me stronger, more cynical, more bitter, and less willing to love again.
Now, I find myself back in my ever-continuous bitter, single state. I feel now like it never left. Hard to believe that it's been two years since I broke up with Blaine and felt these horrible break up feelings for the first time. Since then, I've been dumped on twice, and this time feels worse than ever. It sucks to lose a boyfriend, but also lose a friend of over 15 years. I wish the friendship could be salvaged, but as much as I want to call him, I know that it would do nothing. As much as I wish I could change him mind, and as much as I tried, I just have to face that the relationship that I thought was perfect is over.
Trying to move on does seem a little bit easier this time, especially since I'm not faced with him every day at work like before. Nonetheless, we have the same friends, and it's going to be hard to avoid him forever. It just makes it hard to be at home without many friends to hang out with, and it makes me not look forward to living with three attached friends next year.
Oh well, I'm a tough cookie. I can take this. What doesn't kill me makes me stronger, more cynical, more bitter, and less willing to love again.