distant
been doin alot of thinking. Gettin myself really depressed. I dunno. I've had so much fun lately. But it's just my way of not dealing wit things. Me & my cuz had a talk bout how much we miss ppl that have past on. And I miss them so much. It hurts 2 look back. I have so much anger & sadness built up. It's hard 2 except the fact that I'll never see my cuz again. That I'll never b able 2 hug my great grandparents. It's extremely 2 cope wit when u were close 2 ppl. I have an empty hole in my heart. & since August 30 will b the 1 yr. mark wit Keith. It's so fuckin hard. I feel like shit. I wanna cry so badly & I have been. But I hate crying. i hate this feeling. I thought I was gettin over it & workin it out. but it just seems 2 b gettin worse. I only ate a sub & a sundea 2day. I wasn't even that hungry. I'm having trouble sleeping. My mom doesn't want me goin out all the time. But that's my way of escaping 4rm my problems. Not thinkin about them. My mom wantz 2 go 2 KY, but I don't really wanna go. I'd rather stay here wit Ryan & my friends. I like KY, I just don't feel like spending that much quality time wit my family. The irrate the hell outa me.
I haven't heard 4rm Ryan since like 4:30. I miss him. I haven't spent netime wit him since Monday. & I only saw him 4 like 2 seconds 2day. It's torture not seeing him!
well I'm outy 4 now.
Love ya,
*Court*
I haven't heard 4rm Ryan since like 4:30. I miss him. I haven't spent netime wit him since Monday. & I only saw him 4 like 2 seconds 2day. It's torture not seeing him!
well I'm outy 4 now.
Love ya,
*Court*