Who woulda thunk it
Ever since Mandy found out James was going to Peru for a while, she's commented on how sad it's going to be and how James "can't leave!", and I would say that she's just making it worse...it's GREAT he's going, it'll be SO good for Him, and he'll be back sooner than we know it. But today when PJ prayed for him at church I just bawled. I had realized, but hadn't actually thought much about, what a big part of my life James is. He saved my life this summer. I wouldn't have lasted without him. He doesn't know about the suicide part to my summer, and what Mandy said to me up on the mountain about it. When I called her to come get me, instead of saying "oh Courtney, you'll be okay" she got after me and said something to the affect of: "what the hell are you thinking!!!.....James looks up to you and is in awe of how strong you are and how you keep going. He thinks you're great...". Before she told me that I didn't know anyone looked up to me, I just thought everything was going wrong, and I was helping mess it up. As an employee of mine James kicked butt. Even with a manager as untrained and unknowlegable as I was, he was still loyal and the hardest worker I've ever met. He saved me many times with work, including training the new painters, since I stink at teaching stuff that I don't know how to do. But along with being a rockstar employee, he is also an angel the Lord sent in the form of a friend. I'm the type of person that, when something happens, thinks of is as SUCH A BIG DEAL and it overwhelms me. James seems to keep me grounded. He calms me down and reminds me that whatever is going on is NOT why I'm here, and that the Lord's got in under control. After Wednesday who's going to do that? And whenever I meet a new guy, who's going to laugh at me when I immediately say I'm going to marry him? James says I'm the sister he never had, and he says such awesome things about me that it makes me BEAM since I know my sister doesn't think that highly of me. He's said what an awesome summer he's had working for me because of the things I've taught him, but I don't think he understands that he's the one that changed my life, not the other way around. It reminds me of that song by Andy Griggs, "She Thinks She Needs Me", but obviously the opposite person singing, and not in the romantic way. So, not really like it at all, but it still has the same gist to it. Anyways...what a blessing that guy James is. He's made the impact the rest of us should strive to make...one that exudes Jesus.(Is exude a word? the right word? well, I mean RADIATES, in case that's not the right word---James would know. He's usually here to let me know if it's right or not. And even when it's not right he still understands me and lets me just keep talking). I can't wait till he comes back so he can take me rock climbing some more. I can't believe that guy can stand me for so long. He's got the gift of patience...he deals with BOTH Mandy and I...FOR DAYS. Man, a year ago today I didn't even KNOW him. Weird. See ya later, James. You're a rockstar.