lookin at ourselves like we're all alone
I have had a great weekend, thanks to the legwarmer posse. Riff, Raff, and Ratty FOREVER!!!
Chingy with Al, eating and watching Buffy with Niki and Al. Sitting around at Niki's watching Tv and making things is my favorite weekend activity. I guess I'm getting really sick of going out and wasting money. It's not like I'm gonna find Someone at a damn Snowglobe show, so why not just spend my time with people who make me happy?
Watching Buffy makes me miss school. you know, I used to want to be an English teacher. for like, my whole life, until senior year in high school when I became the foreign language prodigy and decided to do that at Rhodes instead of english. now I'm really really kicking myself. and as much as i love spouting off/reading about race/gender/culture theory, it's probably not that practical to go get a doctorate in that unless i want to be trapped in the heterosexist-classist-racist hell that is academia. plus pressure to write etc.. I know that teaching english would be really rewarding AND that I would actually be able to get a job sooner or later.
but so what do i do? i guess i can apply at memphis for an MA and I'll just have to take extra classes to catch up, even though i have read pretty much the whole canon. which means paying the debts (hugemongous library fines) i owe rhodes/OSU to get my transcripts released, getting GRE scores sent (i kicked some GRE ass by the way), getting rec letters written, curriculum vitae and letters of intent written plus dig up and rewrite papers I wrote for writing samples. i still have one i wrote about a queer modern spanish bildungsroman for my gender theory class that's in english, i guess it's pretty good. but how long do i even have to do all this and is it what i want to do? i know i sure as hell miss school.
also it was a night like this just over a year ago when i had come home to spend the night with my folks and the phone rang in the small dark hours of the Am and i hear my mom begin to sob my cousin's name over and over into her hands. i forgot my cousin died.
little things they say, mom and dad, like at least we know he's with the lord now, meaningful glance at sue the heathen daughter, or like seeing their weekly sunday school group's prayer request on the fridge and under their name is my own:
frank and linda cook:
daughter sue: pray for her wise decisions and her salvation.
rrrr i just hate the way sometimes they look at me like i am dying of leukemia or something.
so anyway, it's been a few days with no meds and i think i'll be ok, but GODDAMN will i ever make up my mind about anything?
Chingy with Al, eating and watching Buffy with Niki and Al. Sitting around at Niki's watching Tv and making things is my favorite weekend activity. I guess I'm getting really sick of going out and wasting money. It's not like I'm gonna find Someone at a damn Snowglobe show, so why not just spend my time with people who make me happy?
Watching Buffy makes me miss school. you know, I used to want to be an English teacher. for like, my whole life, until senior year in high school when I became the foreign language prodigy and decided to do that at Rhodes instead of english. now I'm really really kicking myself. and as much as i love spouting off/reading about race/gender/culture theory, it's probably not that practical to go get a doctorate in that unless i want to be trapped in the heterosexist-classist-racist hell that is academia. plus pressure to write etc.. I know that teaching english would be really rewarding AND that I would actually be able to get a job sooner or later.
but so what do i do? i guess i can apply at memphis for an MA and I'll just have to take extra classes to catch up, even though i have read pretty much the whole canon. which means paying the debts (hugemongous library fines) i owe rhodes/OSU to get my transcripts released, getting GRE scores sent (i kicked some GRE ass by the way), getting rec letters written, curriculum vitae and letters of intent written plus dig up and rewrite papers I wrote for writing samples. i still have one i wrote about a queer modern spanish bildungsroman for my gender theory class that's in english, i guess it's pretty good. but how long do i even have to do all this and is it what i want to do? i know i sure as hell miss school.
also it was a night like this just over a year ago when i had come home to spend the night with my folks and the phone rang in the small dark hours of the Am and i hear my mom begin to sob my cousin's name over and over into her hands. i forgot my cousin died.
little things they say, mom and dad, like at least we know he's with the lord now, meaningful glance at sue the heathen daughter, or like seeing their weekly sunday school group's prayer request on the fridge and under their name is my own:
frank and linda cook:
daughter sue: pray for her wise decisions and her salvation.
rrrr i just hate the way sometimes they look at me like i am dying of leukemia or something.
so anyway, it's been a few days with no meds and i think i'll be ok, but GODDAMN will i ever make up my mind about anything?