(no subject)
Fuck, i was just folding my laundry at the good ol' mat
when it hit me
this time last week, I was in the exact same spot, doing the exact same thing
Only one this was different
what i was thinking about
Last week was my excitment of Sondra coming to visit
This week was how much i miss her already
I absolutely loved having her to cuddle with at night
All of my NYC friends loved her. It cracked me up because they all would bitch about Vics best friend Dawn(who somehow managed to weezle her way into stayin at my place for three nights). Yet they adored MY best friend. I was jealous on Monday night when Sonra called to tell me that Amy, Shawn, Aneesha, Matthew and her were playing beer pong and having a great time. I wanted to be there so bad but i didnt get outta work until 220am.
The week leading to Sondra, Dawn, and Vic coming to NYC to visit had me so fuckin stressed. I didnt know how i would balance all of their needs. I knew if i showed too much attention to one person, the others would be angered. Sondra arrived a day earlier then Vic. Vic arrived 6hrs earlier then Dawn. I was exhausted from the night before. Sondra, Shawn, Erin, Amanda and I had gone to the bar ALLL night. I almost got into a fight with this dude because he wouldnt back off of Amanda. We didnt sleep until 7am.
When Sondra and I made the trip to Laguardia to get Vic, we were exhausted. His flight was an hour late and when he came to meet us, i was half asleep near baggage claim. Vic informed me that he had gotten a hotel room in Manhattan so he wouldnt have to deal with Dawn. Sondra, Vic and I had fun exploring the city. Sondra walked slower then Vic and I so I would always find myself slowing my pace so she wouldnt be/feel left out.
We headed back to my place once again, this time to drink while waiting for midnight to hit so Vic and I could get Dawn. Sondra and I had some inside jokes. Vic and I had some inside jokes. Everything was working out well. Amy came outta her room to offer some "stuff" to everyone. Vic and Sondra passed. Amy and I disappeared into her room to have some and to talk. When i exited her room, i noticed the time and told vic we had to head out.
On the trek to get dawn, Vic told me how much it hurt for him to see Sondra and I interact, claiming that he knew that Sondra and I had a different level of friendship then he and I. It just hurt for him to see it first hand. He had almost cried when I didnt get up to hug him when he arrived. I explained why. He knew that sondra and I shared our raving days and therefore, our drug days. That was something that Vic and I never had with one another. He felt that there was an entirely different level of intamcy that Sondra and I had that he and i could never have. I explained that he knew aspects of my life that Sondra never saw.
I broke down into tears on the bus when he said
"The people who love you stick around because they know how you are. They know that you may be the biggest asshole that walks the earth, but you care so much for the ones you love. You would do anything for them. You would and have dropped everything in your life when one of your friends needed you. This is why I love you josh."
He cited the night before Kyle moved away. It was supposed to be our last night with one another. Vic had called and needed me. He was suicidal from the end of his relationship with Gabrial. i was torn. I chose my friend. I had to be there for him. I guess Dawn had asked him why the first person he had called was me.
fuck this
i dont wanna go into further detail
peace
when it hit me
this time last week, I was in the exact same spot, doing the exact same thing
Only one this was different
what i was thinking about
Last week was my excitment of Sondra coming to visit
This week was how much i miss her already
I absolutely loved having her to cuddle with at night
All of my NYC friends loved her. It cracked me up because they all would bitch about Vics best friend Dawn(who somehow managed to weezle her way into stayin at my place for three nights). Yet they adored MY best friend. I was jealous on Monday night when Sonra called to tell me that Amy, Shawn, Aneesha, Matthew and her were playing beer pong and having a great time. I wanted to be there so bad but i didnt get outta work until 220am.
The week leading to Sondra, Dawn, and Vic coming to NYC to visit had me so fuckin stressed. I didnt know how i would balance all of their needs. I knew if i showed too much attention to one person, the others would be angered. Sondra arrived a day earlier then Vic. Vic arrived 6hrs earlier then Dawn. I was exhausted from the night before. Sondra, Shawn, Erin, Amanda and I had gone to the bar ALLL night. I almost got into a fight with this dude because he wouldnt back off of Amanda. We didnt sleep until 7am.
When Sondra and I made the trip to Laguardia to get Vic, we were exhausted. His flight was an hour late and when he came to meet us, i was half asleep near baggage claim. Vic informed me that he had gotten a hotel room in Manhattan so he wouldnt have to deal with Dawn. Sondra, Vic and I had fun exploring the city. Sondra walked slower then Vic and I so I would always find myself slowing my pace so she wouldnt be/feel left out.
We headed back to my place once again, this time to drink while waiting for midnight to hit so Vic and I could get Dawn. Sondra and I had some inside jokes. Vic and I had some inside jokes. Everything was working out well. Amy came outta her room to offer some "stuff" to everyone. Vic and Sondra passed. Amy and I disappeared into her room to have some and to talk. When i exited her room, i noticed the time and told vic we had to head out.
On the trek to get dawn, Vic told me how much it hurt for him to see Sondra and I interact, claiming that he knew that Sondra and I had a different level of friendship then he and I. It just hurt for him to see it first hand. He had almost cried when I didnt get up to hug him when he arrived. I explained why. He knew that sondra and I shared our raving days and therefore, our drug days. That was something that Vic and I never had with one another. He felt that there was an entirely different level of intamcy that Sondra and I had that he and i could never have. I explained that he knew aspects of my life that Sondra never saw.
I broke down into tears on the bus when he said
"The people who love you stick around because they know how you are. They know that you may be the biggest asshole that walks the earth, but you care so much for the ones you love. You would do anything for them. You would and have dropped everything in your life when one of your friends needed you. This is why I love you josh."
He cited the night before Kyle moved away. It was supposed to be our last night with one another. Vic had called and needed me. He was suicidal from the end of his relationship with Gabrial. i was torn. I chose my friend. I had to be there for him. I guess Dawn had asked him why the first person he had called was me.
fuck this
i dont wanna go into further detail
peace