Week 75.6 - Tease
In the interest of full disclosure, I have been called a "tease" on more than one occasion. My inner tease manifests itself in lots of different ways, not all of them as obvious as you might think. I like to test people. I think it dates back to my childhood and adolescence, and the many lessons my father chose to teach me. Maybe the most prominent of those, and the most important to him, was "reel them in as far as you can, but never take them off the hook." The fishing reference was unusual for him, he'd never fished a day in his life, but it was something he reminded me of over and over. I was never allowed to trust people. Only to test them.
My father was big on having the upperhand, in every imaginable circumstance and every relationship. He always said that the key to having the upperhand was "the powerful cocktail of knowledge and mystery." I think it was just his convoluted version of a poker face. He told me that because I was a woman, I had the potential to be even better at it than he was. Women are alluring, he used to say. My father, in his strange way, was something of a feminist. He believed that women were belittled because men were afraid of them, of their innate power over men. I of course bought into it. I kept everyone guessing, and so they kept coming back. I let them get close to me, then took two steps back. Yes, it was a powerful feeling, but it was also a lonely one. I stopped taking my father's advice the minute I realized that he was just grooming me to be exactly like him. And believe me, he was the last person I wanted to be.
Now and then I find the habit is still there. I'll admit it did come in handy while I was in Washington. Still I sometimes find myself trying to...project an air of mystery, exhibiting a mildly flirtatious nature, determined to get what I want. Then I remember I'm not that person anymore. I don't tease. I don't test. I accept. Now instead of getting what I want, I give people what they want. Sometimes I really don't know which is better, but I never take them off the hook.
Martha Kent
Smallville
399
My father was big on having the upperhand, in every imaginable circumstance and every relationship. He always said that the key to having the upperhand was "the powerful cocktail of knowledge and mystery." I think it was just his convoluted version of a poker face. He told me that because I was a woman, I had the potential to be even better at it than he was. Women are alluring, he used to say. My father, in his strange way, was something of a feminist. He believed that women were belittled because men were afraid of them, of their innate power over men. I of course bought into it. I kept everyone guessing, and so they kept coming back. I let them get close to me, then took two steps back. Yes, it was a powerful feeling, but it was also a lonely one. I stopped taking my father's advice the minute I realized that he was just grooming me to be exactly like him. And believe me, he was the last person I wanted to be.
Now and then I find the habit is still there. I'll admit it did come in handy while I was in Washington. Still I sometimes find myself trying to...project an air of mystery, exhibiting a mildly flirtatious nature, determined to get what I want. Then I remember I'm not that person anymore. I don't tease. I don't test. I accept. Now instead of getting what I want, I give people what they want. Sometimes I really don't know which is better, but I never take them off the hook.
Martha Kent
Smallville
399