couples_therapy: 18.1 "Damage"
18.1 Damage
“You know, my next step is to come over and camp out in your living room until you agree to talk to me. Can’t be good for your sex life having your big brother sitting there giving you sex tips and a running commentary on what goes where.”
“Mark, you’re a lawyer. Don’t you have some other poor sod to bleed dry?”
“I want to talk about that video.”
“I don’t.”
“Jamie, it’s not healthy.”
“Neither is herpes, but it didn’t stop you having an affair.”
“She doesn’t have herpes.”
“Who? Your one night lay or your wife?”
“Ouch, that was harsh, Jim.”
“No immediate denial darling Felicity has the clap?”
“How would I know? We haven’t fucked in over four months.”
“Do I actually have a better sex life than you? Wow. We need to mark it on the calendar.”
“Who are you seeing?”
“Oh, now that would be telling.”
“You can tell me who when we have a drink. I’m picking you up in thirty minutes.”
James went to answer but the line cut off. His brother had just hung up on him. He sighed and stubbed out his cigarette. Looks like they were having a drink.
* * * * *
“So, how’s work?” Mark asked as he furnished James with vodka and Diet Coke at their favourite bar three blocks from James’ apartment.
James smirked and took a quick sip of his drink. “You didn’t bring me here to talk about my job,” he accused with a roll of his eyes. “But since you’re such an attentive brother, its fine. A bit stressful with a new case in our laps as of Monday night, but better than flicking paper clips at Frank to keep myself entertained.”
Mark sniggered. “How that dickhead became a Fed is beyond me.” A swallow of beer punctuated the dry comment. “And how’s thing with Iz?”
“Oh, real smooth, bro,” James snorted. “How are they supposed to be?”
“I don’t know. I was just wondering if she’d said anything about dinner at Mum and Dad’s…” Mark comment, trying for casualness but failing miserably if the look James gave him was anything to go by.
James let out a sharp sigh. “God, you’re about as subtle as a toothpick through a dick,” he complained. “We spoke about it. It was a bit awkward, but things are fine. She had a whole lack of belonging complex which I don’t really get, but it’s not like there was a right or wrong way to react to the situation, is there?”
Mark’s face remained impassive and unrevealing, even if he knew exactly why Isabel felt a lack of belonging at seeing James’ dead boyfriend a happy part of the Campbell family - on film or otherwise. And it was a large portion of why he was here in the first place. “No, I guess not. But things are cool between you both now?”
James nodded. “Yeah. Why wouldn’t they be?”
“No reason,” Mark murmured. “And what about you? You haven’t had much so say on the subject.”
“So you keep telling me,” James said, scratching his forehead with his thumb. “Apparently you’re not going to get off my back until I do, either.”
Mark smirked. “Got it in one, baby bro.” He pulled a fresh pack of Marlboro from his packet and dropped it in front of James. “I even came prepared.”
James shot Mark a long-suffering look. “What do you want me to say? It hurt, okay? I’m trying to move on. I don’t want unexpected reminders like that. It’s not like I’ve forgotten exactly what he looked like, sounded like, felt like…”
“You won’t ever forget that,” Mark agreed. “But on the same token, I still don’t think you’ve really let the damage caused by his death heal, Jamie.”
James sighed as he sipped his drink again and placed the glass back on the bar. “Here we go again,” he mumbled. “What are you, my shrink?”
“Nope, because you don’t have a shrink,” Mark replied pointedly. “Do you, Jamie? You’ve never had one.”
James peeled open the Marlboro packet and pulled one out. He took the lighter Mark gave him for his thirtieth from his pocket and lit one up. He set the lighter on top of the packet and exhaled the smoke away from his brother. “You think I need a shrink,” he noted. “For?”
Mark raised an eyebrow. “You need me to spell it out for you, buddy? I don’t think you’ve properly dealt with David’s death and I think its road-blocking other things in your life,” he said carefully. He remembered the conversation he’d had with Isabel the previous afternoon. She’d mentioned something along the lines of a comment Ali had made about the possibility James is using his whole no work relationships as a shield to protect himself from not having to date another law enforcement officer. Another law enforcement officer who stood risk of being shot and killed on the job… Mark had to admit, it was sound reasoning. Not that he expected anything less from Ali; she was always a smart cookie and overly analytical. It’s why she succeeded in Forensics. At that thought, he had to stop himself glazing over and thinking about his ex, as he had done so often of late… since their night together two months ago…
“Such as?” James asked with a terse edge to his tone.
“New relationships,” Mark said immediately before the momentum of the conversation could be lost. “There hasn’t even been a hint of one since David died. Sure, I know you have enough sex to keep you going, but its never more than anything casual, is it, Jamie? Are you scared to another relationship?”
James looked down into his glass. “Scared of what?” he asked, sounding tired.
“Losing someone else.”
“Of course I’m scared of that,” James said, turning to his brother with a pained frown. “Who isn’t scared of losing someone they love? Just because it’s happened to me in the past doesn’t mean I’m some sort of freak who is relationship challenged.”
Mark looked at his brother patiently. He was used to James’ reactions to things and could probably have predicted a good portion of this conversation. “You know I don’t think you’re a freak, buddy. I do think you’re sad and lonely, though. And I think it’s because you’ve never really spoken in depth about the ins and outs of David’s death and how to move on from it. I’m not saying you’re still grieving. All I’m saying is you miss him and I don’t think you’re quite sure whether you think you should move on from him or when.”
James was silent for a long few moments. He even finished his cigarette and downed the last couple of mouthfuls of his drink in one go, the ice chinking against the glass. There was a rush of things going through his head, starting with the images of David and himself on his parent’s television screen to memories of Isabel beneath him the night before when he stayed at her apartment and they shared a bed yet again. “I’ll make an appointment with a shrink,” he finally said, choosing not to elaborate further.
Mark patted his brother on the back and then squeezed his arm. “I’m proud of you, Jamie,” he said quietly and then signalled the barman for another round. “So, how about those Yankees?”
[Follows THIS, THIS, THIS, and THIS]
Patient's Name | Special Agent James Campbell
Fandom | Original Character
Word Count | 1,239
Partner's Name | Isabel Owens (isabelowens)
- isabelowen and agentsullivan referenced with permission
“You know, my next step is to come over and camp out in your living room until you agree to talk to me. Can’t be good for your sex life having your big brother sitting there giving you sex tips and a running commentary on what goes where.”
“Mark, you’re a lawyer. Don’t you have some other poor sod to bleed dry?”
“I want to talk about that video.”
“I don’t.”
“Jamie, it’s not healthy.”
“Neither is herpes, but it didn’t stop you having an affair.”
“She doesn’t have herpes.”
“Who? Your one night lay or your wife?”
“Ouch, that was harsh, Jim.”
“No immediate denial darling Felicity has the clap?”
“How would I know? We haven’t fucked in over four months.”
“Do I actually have a better sex life than you? Wow. We need to mark it on the calendar.”
“Who are you seeing?”
“Oh, now that would be telling.”
“You can tell me who when we have a drink. I’m picking you up in thirty minutes.”
James went to answer but the line cut off. His brother had just hung up on him. He sighed and stubbed out his cigarette. Looks like they were having a drink.
* * * * *
“So, how’s work?” Mark asked as he furnished James with vodka and Diet Coke at their favourite bar three blocks from James’ apartment.
James smirked and took a quick sip of his drink. “You didn’t bring me here to talk about my job,” he accused with a roll of his eyes. “But since you’re such an attentive brother, its fine. A bit stressful with a new case in our laps as of Monday night, but better than flicking paper clips at Frank to keep myself entertained.”
Mark sniggered. “How that dickhead became a Fed is beyond me.” A swallow of beer punctuated the dry comment. “And how’s thing with Iz?”
“Oh, real smooth, bro,” James snorted. “How are they supposed to be?”
“I don’t know. I was just wondering if she’d said anything about dinner at Mum and Dad’s…” Mark comment, trying for casualness but failing miserably if the look James gave him was anything to go by.
James let out a sharp sigh. “God, you’re about as subtle as a toothpick through a dick,” he complained. “We spoke about it. It was a bit awkward, but things are fine. She had a whole lack of belonging complex which I don’t really get, but it’s not like there was a right or wrong way to react to the situation, is there?”
Mark’s face remained impassive and unrevealing, even if he knew exactly why Isabel felt a lack of belonging at seeing James’ dead boyfriend a happy part of the Campbell family - on film or otherwise. And it was a large portion of why he was here in the first place. “No, I guess not. But things are cool between you both now?”
James nodded. “Yeah. Why wouldn’t they be?”
“No reason,” Mark murmured. “And what about you? You haven’t had much so say on the subject.”
“So you keep telling me,” James said, scratching his forehead with his thumb. “Apparently you’re not going to get off my back until I do, either.”
Mark smirked. “Got it in one, baby bro.” He pulled a fresh pack of Marlboro from his packet and dropped it in front of James. “I even came prepared.”
James shot Mark a long-suffering look. “What do you want me to say? It hurt, okay? I’m trying to move on. I don’t want unexpected reminders like that. It’s not like I’ve forgotten exactly what he looked like, sounded like, felt like…”
“You won’t ever forget that,” Mark agreed. “But on the same token, I still don’t think you’ve really let the damage caused by his death heal, Jamie.”
James sighed as he sipped his drink again and placed the glass back on the bar. “Here we go again,” he mumbled. “What are you, my shrink?”
“Nope, because you don’t have a shrink,” Mark replied pointedly. “Do you, Jamie? You’ve never had one.”
James peeled open the Marlboro packet and pulled one out. He took the lighter Mark gave him for his thirtieth from his pocket and lit one up. He set the lighter on top of the packet and exhaled the smoke away from his brother. “You think I need a shrink,” he noted. “For?”
Mark raised an eyebrow. “You need me to spell it out for you, buddy? I don’t think you’ve properly dealt with David’s death and I think its road-blocking other things in your life,” he said carefully. He remembered the conversation he’d had with Isabel the previous afternoon. She’d mentioned something along the lines of a comment Ali had made about the possibility James is using his whole no work relationships as a shield to protect himself from not having to date another law enforcement officer. Another law enforcement officer who stood risk of being shot and killed on the job… Mark had to admit, it was sound reasoning. Not that he expected anything less from Ali; she was always a smart cookie and overly analytical. It’s why she succeeded in Forensics. At that thought, he had to stop himself glazing over and thinking about his ex, as he had done so often of late… since their night together two months ago…
“Such as?” James asked with a terse edge to his tone.
“New relationships,” Mark said immediately before the momentum of the conversation could be lost. “There hasn’t even been a hint of one since David died. Sure, I know you have enough sex to keep you going, but its never more than anything casual, is it, Jamie? Are you scared to another relationship?”
James looked down into his glass. “Scared of what?” he asked, sounding tired.
“Losing someone else.”
“Of course I’m scared of that,” James said, turning to his brother with a pained frown. “Who isn’t scared of losing someone they love? Just because it’s happened to me in the past doesn’t mean I’m some sort of freak who is relationship challenged.”
Mark looked at his brother patiently. He was used to James’ reactions to things and could probably have predicted a good portion of this conversation. “You know I don’t think you’re a freak, buddy. I do think you’re sad and lonely, though. And I think it’s because you’ve never really spoken in depth about the ins and outs of David’s death and how to move on from it. I’m not saying you’re still grieving. All I’m saying is you miss him and I don’t think you’re quite sure whether you think you should move on from him or when.”
James was silent for a long few moments. He even finished his cigarette and downed the last couple of mouthfuls of his drink in one go, the ice chinking against the glass. There was a rush of things going through his head, starting with the images of David and himself on his parent’s television screen to memories of Isabel beneath him the night before when he stayed at her apartment and they shared a bed yet again. “I’ll make an appointment with a shrink,” he finally said, choosing not to elaborate further.
Mark patted his brother on the back and then squeezed his arm. “I’m proud of you, Jamie,” he said quietly and then signalled the barman for another round. “So, how about those Yankees?”
[Follows THIS, THIS, THIS, and THIS]
Patient's Name | Special Agent James Campbell
Fandom | Original Character
Word Count | 1,239
Partner's Name | Isabel Owens (isabelowens)
- isabelowen and agentsullivan referenced with permission