long time no post
6 weeks since i made a post on here so what the hell.
Sean, first off i wanna say ur college decision is pretty smart, but u really gotta work at those 2 or 3 classes. i only have 4 classes, and granted they are a minimum 3 hours long but i gotta tell you the workload makes up for the other classes that im not taking.
I have been thinking a lot. About eveything. Stressing out, having fun, seeing family, friends, school, painting, the future, music, etc... and usually at some point in a semester i get really really stressed out and all the thoughts in my head jumble into one big ball of shit. In turn i wanna just fuckin yell/cry or something.
One thing that i've thought about a lot is smoking. yea everyone knows i smoke a lot. its great i love it and whatever, but i think its come to the point where its e/affecting my study time/free time/ and even my work to some degree. i think its time for me to stop smoking. I know this may be a lost cause but I'm pretty set on making a date for myself to stop it all and just go clean. (well, drink, of course) I really have no idea if i will go through this yet but at this very moment that im writing this im so stressed and lost and i feel like quitting smoking would put me a step in the right direction. I'm starting to feel less productive when i smoke. In the past i usualy smoke and get the same amount of work done that i usually do, now im kinda useless, lol....but not funny.
Baltimore is really depressing right now. I think my goal is to get out of this city when i graduate, get to NYC, and if not NYC i wont want any other city. Ultimately i wanna head to the mountains out west or maybe stay east caost and go up to vermont.
also ive been debating the whole 'fate' thing in my head. i dont like the idea that my life is pre determined, plus i like thinking/knowing that i have 100% control over what i do. At the same time so many wierd occurences happen in life that make me think "what the fuck!?!?" i dunno. just really confused right now i think i need some clarity to my situations. ill post more this weekend or next week, laterrrrrrrsssss, peace.
Sean, first off i wanna say ur college decision is pretty smart, but u really gotta work at those 2 or 3 classes. i only have 4 classes, and granted they are a minimum 3 hours long but i gotta tell you the workload makes up for the other classes that im not taking.
I have been thinking a lot. About eveything. Stressing out, having fun, seeing family, friends, school, painting, the future, music, etc... and usually at some point in a semester i get really really stressed out and all the thoughts in my head jumble into one big ball of shit. In turn i wanna just fuckin yell/cry or something.
One thing that i've thought about a lot is smoking. yea everyone knows i smoke a lot. its great i love it and whatever, but i think its come to the point where its e/affecting my study time/free time/ and even my work to some degree. i think its time for me to stop smoking. I know this may be a lost cause but I'm pretty set on making a date for myself to stop it all and just go clean. (well, drink, of course) I really have no idea if i will go through this yet but at this very moment that im writing this im so stressed and lost and i feel like quitting smoking would put me a step in the right direction. I'm starting to feel less productive when i smoke. In the past i usualy smoke and get the same amount of work done that i usually do, now im kinda useless, lol....but not funny.
Baltimore is really depressing right now. I think my goal is to get out of this city when i graduate, get to NYC, and if not NYC i wont want any other city. Ultimately i wanna head to the mountains out west or maybe stay east caost and go up to vermont.
also ive been debating the whole 'fate' thing in my head. i dont like the idea that my life is pre determined, plus i like thinking/knowing that i have 100% control over what i do. At the same time so many wierd occurences happen in life that make me think "what the fuck!?!?" i dunno. just really confused right now i think i need some clarity to my situations. ill post more this weekend or next week, laterrrrrrrsssss, peace.