The Parent Trap
Sometimes you have to see how bad something can get before you really discover how good you really have it in life. Sometimes you wander through most of your life thinking that you got a crap deal when it turns out, you were living the life and you should really shut the hell up and be grateful you had what you did all these years. Sometimes it takes a new person in your life to see all these things.
To hear the psychologists tell it, I came from a “broken home”, that is, my parents were divorced. I was eight years old when it happened, my sister was just four. I didn’t really understand the reasons until I was in my teens, but by then, being angry about them seemed pointless. From what I understand, I should be pretty “broken” myself… closed off emotionally, quick to distrust others, hard to get to know, etc., but I’m not… never really was, actually. Sure, I’m single now, but I don’t blame them for that (personally, I blame the Dutch, but that’s another issue).
My mom and dad, and step mom, are amazing. They knew that there were kids involved and made every effort to ensure that my sister and I could never use the divorce as a crutch in life. My dad moved literally across the street from my mother’s house so that we could always be close (made for a great escape route when things got tough at any one location). The court mandated visitation was just a spring board for our time with our dad. We still had big family holiday dinners. My mom even watched my half-brother when he was young… who does that? I know parents who are still married who don’t get along this well.
Yet, we’re “broken”, right?
Today, my dad and I hang out like we were great friends rather than father and son. My mom is renowned for being one of the best mom’s in North America… to the point where exes miss her more than me post-breakup. And my step-mom manages to be one of the cooler people I know, despite everything you’ve been raised to know about “step-monsters”.
I’ve seen some real pain dealt out by parents… deep, psychological stuff that makes your heart ache and does damage years after it has been delivered like a slow release virus in your system. I can see how that hurt does all the things that the shrinks claim just the basic broken home is supposed to do to all kids of a broken home, weather they are broken or not. And worst of all, I see the parents not realize how much damage they are really doing.
I love my broken home… wouldn’t trade it for the world.
Jeff @ The Gag
PS - Thanks Mom and Dad and Sally. And thanks IP for the new set of eyes.