Your actions kill me more than your words! Your a double sided sword...
Just for me…
Venting can be good for you sometimes…
I hate her…
I really, really HATE her…
It’s not just because of tonight! Fuck no! It’s so much more…
Because she knew…and she did nothing…
She ignored it…not once…not twice…not three fucking times…
When it finally effected her...all of a sudden she cared.
God knows she couldn’t be a single mother…
No, instead she pretended everything was ok…even though it hurt in her heart every time he hurt me.
I hate her so much.
I think I hate her because...I love her so much! I love her sooo much it hurts to know that she allowed so much shit to happen to me.
I bet she wishes she could take it back now…
Too late!
Too fucking late…
Ok so it’s over…
Why does she still ignore me?
She only acknowledges me when I have something she wants.
Why does she ask me for permission to be with him when she knows my fucking answer is NO?!
My fucking answer is no ok!? No, I don’t like him! No, I will never like him!
Too fucking bad.
::sigh::
I think I’m just tired of them hating me so much.
It wasn’t my fault…
It wasn’t my fault…
It wasn’t my fault…
It wasn’t my fault…
It wasn’t my fault…
It wasn’t my fault…
It wasn’t my fault…
It wasn’t my fault…
It wasn’t my fault…
It wasn’t my fault…
It wasn’t my fault…
It wasn’t my fault…
It wasn’t my fault…
It wasn’t my fault…
It wasn’t my fault…
It wasn’t my fault…
It wasn’t my fault…
It wasn’t my fault…
It wasn’t my fault…
It wasn’t my fault…
I can repeat that so many times but for some reason…it just doesn’t feel…right.
I hate that I cant believe it because really…it…wasn’t…my…fault…!!!
I hate this feeling so much and I’m fucking going to feel it every day of my fucking life.
To him:
I hate you so much!
You ruined my fucking life and I hope when u die…you die painfully slow so that your last thoughts are of me and how you lost me completely, and how I have no love in my heart for you, and how I wish I could erase you from my every waking day, and how you made me lock myself into my room and cry a thousand tears, and how each tear was one full of inviting forgiveness…and how u never took the chance to say I’m sorry and fully mean it.
I gave you the option… “If you loved me, you would stop.”
You didn’t stop.
Why didn’t you stop?
That single question will haunt me for as long as I can think straight.
She wonders why I do the things I do. Maybe then you’ll stop and want to listen to me…
Really listen…
Not pretend to be there for me when the last person you want to see every night is me.
Why do you hate me so much?
You say you don’t…then show me you love me…
What’s that? You don’t know how…?
I’d show you but I forgot how to love…
No, I just forgot how to love you…